Multiple Withdrawal - Kindled Support Group

I am interested in meeting others who have been kindled as I have a history of being cold turkeyed and reinstated over the years.  I recently got my medication history and have learned this is my 4th withdrawal. I was lead to believe these medications were like stopping an aspirin and each of the withdrawal symptoms was a new psychosis that needed to be medicated. Last summer I made the decision to walk away from psychiatry and I cold turkeyed my entire psychiatric cocktail once again not understanding withdrawal.  I didn't know what was happening until I saw Lisa Ling and it was such a relief to find out it wasn't me! Finally, my life made sense and medications were no longer the answer.

 

I’d like this to be a safe place to share our experiences, helpful coping techniques, how we manage our symptoms as well as provide hope and healing support for one another.

I’m in. I’ve been looking for folks with this experience. Hope you’re feeling ok.

I think it's too early to get caught up in the FEAR of kindling, protracted, et all.  Let's just get through mornings...I can't go there just yet.🤪

I think i am from your side. I left back 8 months and i am getting the worst anxiety which make me not to think start tapering again. I have lastly tried CBD but i dont wanna mess up the things and so i dont continue.

Glad to have found others who have dealt with kindling.  As I reflect on my life I can tell how much my life drastically changed every time the benzo was either added back in or taken out of my medication regime. This withdrawal being the most difficult. I find myself concerned about future surgeries and wondering how that will affect me now that I have already had a benzo introduced and removed several times.

 

Lately, I’ve been dealing with severe fatigue and low energy. Hope you all are finding ways to pass the time.

Glad you started this group, Iwant. Fatigue has been constant for me going on 2 years. It’s killing me.

I'm sorry you are struggling with that. I've noticed that is a symptom many struggle with in withdrawal. Many believing they have chronic fatigue syndrome, which this sure feels like it. I'm having my bloodwork done next week to find out what my current levels are. Have you found anything to help?

Do you cope with deb. anx. I left my exp. 8 month and i am on the worst. Have you exp. this kind of anx. and then passed?

Yes, I have severe anxiety and am hypersensitive. Right, now I am avoiding stress and staying home.  I keep light programming on TV, have the lights on low, reduce stressful interactions, find mindful activities to engage in that are soothing to my CNS etc.

 

I'm sorry you are struggling with that. I've noticed that is a symptom many struggle with in withdrawal. Many believing they have chronic fatigue syndrome, which this sure feels like it. I'm having my bloodwork done next week to find out what my current levels are. Have you found anything to help?

 

Not really. Getting up and exercising helps some. I’ll drink 1 cup of decaf at the most. Probably still too much caffeine...

I think I fit in this group.  I have been pollydrugged.

Didnt know about benzos the first time and just snapped my pills in half. Went into acute withdrawal but didn't know it.  Was pur on Remeron and Lamictal. Got off those but ended up back on benzos and now have been tapering like a turtle for the past 10 months.

 

It's been very hard but I have made the decison to try and pick up the pace just a little. I will hold as I have when I need to but I need to see if moving slightly faster and getting to a lower dose will help lift the depression., which has been my worst symptom.

 

I want to remain as functional as I can, which for me is being able to walk a few times a week, work a tiny amount and sleep in a broken way. 

How’s everyone doing? I’m in a bad wave and really losing hope. I feel like I destroyed my life by doing this a second time. I was healed. The despair is unreal.

How’s everyone doing? I’m in a bad wave and really losing hope. I feel like I destroyed my life by doing this a second time. I was healed. The despair is unreal.

 

Hang in there DGM.  I really understand what that despair is like but it's not who you really are.  It's your brain in a wave and it will pass.  Distraction has been a key tool for me and talking with supportive people if you have some in your life.  Reaching out on this thread and the main withdrawal thread for support is a good self-care action.

 

I have read some success stories of people who were pollydrugged and have healed.  You can do this. 

 

Final Healing

Thanks, Final. It’s so horrible to be sick this far out. So exhausted from it. Thanks for the encouragement. It helps.

Now i believe im kindled. Whats weird about this entire process of "healing" is that, the further out i get the worse i have become. Cognitively 6 months ago i was razor sharp. I quit the bottle and my brain quit me. And its been hideously grtting worse. So what the F do i make out of this? Is this progress? I dont understand.

Joining. My signature is incomplete. In my early thirties, 22 years ago, I started taking bromazepam "as needed" due to a very stressful job. I went on and off on and off until age 37 when I was put on Valium. Then CT that for pregnancy, then on and off again twice. Knew nothing about anything and obviously neither did ANY of my doctors. Finally in this last taper I fell into the pit of hell and found BBs. No idea if I'll ever be able to taper again.