Still not sleeping over 10 hours per week. Never sleepy. Is this even gonna end?

This just feels impossible.  Can't function like this. Has anyone gone as long as me with such horrible sleep deprivation?  Still never have sleepy sensations ever. 

Oh yes, I sure did. I went CT off  benzos and SSRIS back in 2012. All hell ensued. I did not sleep a wink in a year. I am not exaggerating.

This is not unusual. All of this has to do with your brain. Your brain controls how and when you go to sleep. When you get off benzos - your brain goes crazy for a while. One symptom is insomnia.  This is very normal.

 

What ended up helping me was "Sleep Hypnosis" videos on You Tube. It took maybe 2 months for them to work on my brain, but they sure did. I STILL listen to them on occasion. This is simple, not dangerous at all and it really can help.

east

This just feels impossible.  Can't function like this. Has anyone gone as long as me with such horrible sleep deprivation?  Still never have sleepy sensations ever.

 

Uncomfortablynumb1,

You have put an awful lot of medications into your system, along with alcohol. This approach is obviously not working for you. Your poor brain is crying out for a chance to recover, but the desire to avoid the inevitable withdrawal insomnia is only prolonging the insomnia and probably making it worse. You just cannot recover while continuing to take what you are trying to recover from.

 

I got better only by not taking any more sleep medications and by staying away from booze. It was not easy at all, but things would most certainly be a lot worse for me now had I not stayed on track. Not being able to stop doing something that you know is bad for you can be a behavioral problem. Perhaps you need help in finding coping strategies and the strength that is hiding within you.

This just feels impossible.  Can't function like this. Has anyone gone as long as me with such horrible sleep deprivation?  Still never have sleepy sensations ever.

 

Sorry, but that's how it feels for almost everyone.  Insomnia was my worst symptom.  I thought I had fatal insomnia and would never sleep again without taking something.  As bad as it feels, please know temporary (even up to 2-3 years) sleep deprivation won't harm you.  I never got sick, not even one time when I was averaging 5-10 hours per week and the flu or a cold was going through the rest of my family.  Your body will use micro sleeps to sustain you and you may drift off into light sleep without even realizing it.  I know I did that way more often than I realized because my wife told me in the morning I was snoring the night before.  MTFan had horrible sleep deprivation.  Way worse than I did and I had almost 70 nights of no perceived sleep (zero nights) over an 8 month period when I was at my worst.

 

The reason you don't feel tired is that your sleep switch is temporarily off line.  GABA (your sleep switch) and body's brake pedal is temporarily broken.  Glutamate (you body's gas pedal) is temporarily stuck to the floor.  Normally GABA and Glutamate balance each other, but not so during WD.  Glutamate rules the day and night, hence you are tired, but "wired" at the same time.  It will get better, but most likely not in your time frame.  It didn't for me or for many others on this site.  You have survived with your current sleep deprivation so far and can continue to survive in the future. 

 

I went from 5-10 hours per week to 7-10 hours per night now, pretty much every single night.  Sure, I still get an off night every few months, but its nothing more than a "gust of wind" compared to the Category 5 Hurricane I was in for awhile.  If you never had sleep issues before drugs, then your sleep should completely return?  Sleep issues were the reason on got on Benzos in the first place and now I sleep pretty darn good.  I got on the road to sleeping better by not caring or expecting if I slept or not.  Sure, I would have liked to have gotten as much sleep as possible, but Aloha taught me that if you go to bed and don't expect any sleep, that you are just going to rest your body, then if sleep doesn't come, you're not as disappointed or frustrated?  It took some time, but it worked.  True healing doesn't occur until you are off (and stay off) of all drugs.  No rescue doses or in a moment of weakness taking this or that Rx drug just to get a hour or so of sleep.  Just accept, distract and be grateful for any sleep you do get and the "Sandman" will slowly return to your sleep deprived life!

Agree about the micro sleeps. I went through a year or more with what felt like no sleep but obviously I did sleep or I'd be dead.

Getting off benzos is not going to solve all your problems. It will mean that benzos are no longer part of the problem. Find a good therapist and try to live an unmedicated life if you can.

Alcohol is a sleep disruptor and always makes things worse.

Alcohol stimulates GABA pathways in a similar fashion as benzos. A big part of the withdrawal process is trying to get your GABA receptors equalized and functioning properly on their own so drinking can lead to big set-backs.

What do you guys think about CBD oil? Is the only thing that I’m taking right now, and is helping a lot (not with my sleep I’m still stuck in 2 hours per night and I’m 13 months off benzodiazepinas,but with back pain and anxiety)  but I’m worried if the oil is doing more harm than good, I didn’t want to take anything at first but the symptoms were so bad😱

What do you guys think about CBD oil? Is the only thing that I’m taking right now, and is helping a lot (not with my sleep I’m still stuck in 2 hours per night and I’m 13 months off benzodiazepinas,but with back pain and anxiety)  but I’m worried if the oil is doing more harm than good, I didn’t want to take anything at first but the symptoms were so bad😱

 

There are many threads on the subject of CBD both with and without THC is you'd like to take a look at this board. Alternative Therapies & Supplements

I admit I screwed up after I healed.  It was a long time ago that I drank (more than a year and a half ago). That and stresses really screwed me up.  My next mistake was trying the Remeron and Ativan again when I was desperate to sleep.  I did not learn my lesson.  I have been 7 months off those now. But I took the U-Dream supplement for 3 weeks.  My luck is horrible - that company got caught putting zopiclone in their product.  They and Health Canada could not tell me how much was in the capsules.  Now I am not taking anything at all.  Can't even trust supplements. 

 

Feels like the damage is done.  I have not had any relief from my head pain in a year along with the insomnia (other than rare 3hrs sleeps).  I question what is going on because the pain is unreal (burning, squeezing, tingling). With this pain and panic it makes it even harder to fall asleep.  Try hard to relax but the anxiety is constant. 

 

No sleepy signal for a year.  Is that a sign it is not coming back? 

 

I tried a few different CBD oils and they did not help for sleep or pain.  Maybe slightly lowered anxiety but barely noticeable. 

Not being sleepy and feeling wired all the time is pretty normal after coming off Benzos and you were on a lot.  Sleep will come back.  It just takes a lot more time than you, me or anyone else would like.  Benzos and other drugs cause TEMPORARY damage (albeit some on this forum may argue for something more permanent).  Your sleep switch is TEMPORARILY broken.  But your body knows how to heal the damage and get you sleeping again on your own WITHOUT taking something. 

 

I thought I would never sleep on my own and now I get decent to very good sleep every night.  This is coming from a person that literally believed he had fatal insomnia.  The damage that is done is TEMPORARY.  Let the healing begin.  There is no time table.  As you already know, WD is UNIQUE to each person.  You could turn a corner soon or it might take some time? 

 

You need to decide what is best for you, but what worked for me was not taking anything.  Everything I tried Rx, OTC and natural only worked for a night or two anyway.  Nothing short of another Rx drug will "knock you out" and allow you to get "sleep."  I had to tough it out.  So did many others on this forum.  We don't want a pat on the back or even sympathy.  For some, that is the only way out and the only way out of this is "through the healing and recovery process."  There are no shortcuts, pills or magic potions to speed it up or make it go away faster that I am aware of and I tried everything I could afford. 

 

Here is my advice and it is only for those that can accept it.  If you disagree, so be it.  What works is to stop talking about not sleeping with everyone.  If someone asks you about sleep, change the subject.  Don't Google anything sleep related.  Stop looking for something to sleep with OTC or natural.  Go to bed with the idea you are going to just rest your body and don't expect any sleep.  Try not to give a rat's butt if you sleep or not.  Sure everyone in your situation would love to get as much sleep as possible, but by not caring/worrying about it will go a long way toward getting sleep back.  Don't freak out in the middle of the night and punch your pillow, toss and turn etc.  Just do the best you can to remain calm and remain in bed.  Your body needs rest even if you can't sleep.  Maybe try something with carbs and a bit of magnesium in it at night? Be grateful for any sleep you do get or any improvement with other symptoms.  Live the best life you can give the crummy circumstances.  Time is the healer.  You'll get there. 

Good advice ThEwAy2, when I had the horrible insomnia, I'd literally scream in the middle of the night because I was so angry and frustrated.  I live alone so I could get away with that stuff, but my poor pets.    Anyway, screaming and getting angry was no way to promote sleep, in fact, was the opposite. 

 

 

Good advice ThEwAy2, when I had the horrible insomnia, I'd literally scream in the middle of the night because I was so angry and frustrated.  I live alone so I could get away with that stuff, but my poor pets.    Anyway, screaming and getting angry was no way to promote sleep, in fact, was the opposite.

 

Ive had really bad insomnia for the better part of 15 months and I have been pretty calm about it but there have been some nights. like you, where I have lost my cool. After a couple or 3 weeks with almost no sleep the nerves are pretty raw and I can lose my temper- I try not to and most times I dont but there are times when you kinda lose yourself.

 

I am really looking forward to getting this taper done ( Lord knows how long it will take ) so I can finally heal my sleep for good.

 

:]

I was one of those people that "yelled" or "screamed" in the middle of the night out of frustration.  But I quickly learned I couldn't do that even though I was attempting to sleep in another room.  Insomnia sucks, but coping skills are much better than waking up everyone in your home!    Sleep returns.  That was the only reason I got on the Benzo highway to hell...to "fix" some sleep issues I had.  The insomnia became 10x worse after being on Benzos for a short period of time.  Sleep is so much better now. 

I have to admit that I had learned a trick that never failed to allow me to sleep when overwhelmed by frustration from not sleeping. The frustration often went hand-in-hand with the depression caused by lack of sleep. I discovered that if I focused on the depression and actually fed it to the point of boiling over I could create a very intense cry that was like vomiting out all the pain and suffering caused by the withdrawal. I was able to do this without making too much noise to wake up my family and it always resulted in sleep of some duration.

I am not sure if feeding depression for any reason is helpful or harmful in the long run (either it helps get it out or it gives it deeper roots), but sleep was worth taking the chance at the time.