Suffering from insomnia

Insomnia  is new to me and i am not coping well at all its been 24 hours since i have slept im going crazy my mind wont shutdown  i am terrified  and have a feeling of impending  doom need help please

 

 

For the sake of our membership, all references to self-harm and/or harming others have been removed from this thread.

Please click on this link if you are thinking about suicide, self-harm, or harming others: Self-Harm/Ideation (Revised)

 

jump, insomnia is a bear. I suffered mightily from it during and after my taper. I probably tried everything in the world. What I finally found that was and is extremely helpful is CBD marijuana.

 

I looked up your profile and see that you live in Ohio where medical mj is legal. If I were in your shoes, I'd do what I had to do to get an mj card, then go to a dispensary and let them help me (you).  When mj became legal medically in OR, I did just that.

 

I'm not going to tell you about Seroquel or Trazodone or Uinsom or melatonin or all the things I tried that did not work or worked only briefly. I have been using CBD for anxiety and sleep for a long time and it works very well.

 

imo getting a good night's sleep will reduce your anxiety, make you feel generally a lot better, and diminish/removed those bad thoughts that trouble you. At least that was what I found. I feel about 100% better during the day.

 

Hope this helps you,

 

Katz

Hi jump.

Not sleeping is beyond frustrating, I get it.  There were nights of zero sleep when I first was off Xanax.  Where are you in the process now? Your signature stops in February of this year.

Challis

I understand. My first year after I went cold turkey off a thirty year habit of nightly benzos, I did not sleep at ALL. NO LIE.

All I got was what they call "micro sleeps. Moments when my brain just blanked out. I was so upset about this, as I had always thought I HAD to sleep to be okay.

Getting off benzos affects one in many ways. Insomnia is just one way.

What I can tell you for sure is that not sleeping will NOT kill you. You may feel awful ad scared but you wont die.

What ended up helping me with this was listening (NOT watching) YouTube Videos on sleep hypnosis. To my utter amazement, they worked like a charm. Took over a month, but I slowly began to sleep normally, without taking a damn pill. I was amazed.

That stuff does work. I am proof of that.

east

What you describe is not at all uncommon during withdrawal, but that doesn't make it any easier to go through. I can only try to reassure you by reminding you that you can get through this as long as you stay off the benzos and z-drugs. The time will pass, you will learn to better cope with these challenges and you will slowly start to feel better and better. The dark thoughts are pretty common when sleep deprived, depressed and very anxious. I used to use them as sort of a fantasy escape hatch to regain a feeling of some of control over my situation. They passed over time, but if you find that you are getting too caught up in them to the point that the line between reality and fantasy is getting blurred, seek professional help. Recovery is going to happen so you don't want to throw away all that has yet to come.

 

Just remember...lack of sleep will not kill you. Your body and mind will nod-off long before that can happen. Also know that you probably are getting more sleep than you think unless you are spending the time out of bed doing something. I used to drift in an out of sleep without knowing it all the time. My wife would confirm that I had been snoring and I had I hard time believing her.

I just found this post, it has some tips for insomnia, I hope it helps you.  http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=235100.0

 

 

Ahhhhh... it is so comforting to “meet” others going through the same thing. I’ll be forever grateful to the creators of BB and all of the admins who keep it going! Thank you for reminding us that lack of sleep will not kill us. Insomnia has always been my worst fear since I ct back in 2015. I forgot that I DID survive that madness, and I did eventually return to more normal sleeping habits. So I’m going to fall out of rhythm while I get through this lorazepam taper but I WILL survive. My goal is to sleep enough to be able to function at work... because I have to work. No way around that.

Thanks Pamster for your link. I am off to do some research. Maybe it will put me right to sleep....zzzzZZZZ.

 

Hang in there Jumpman. We got this! 

thank you all for the replies  oregonkatz medical marijuana  is only legal for certain conditions and i do not have any of them like  aids hiv cancer chrones disease  colitis  glaucoma 

 

Challis99  im still at the same does that is why its is not updated

 

i did eventually fall asleep around the 25 hour mark and got about 6 hours of broken sleep i am still tired and not feeling myself due to this i my biggest trigger for these 9 years i have had these disorders is sleep when i dont get good sleep my whole day is ruined i am lucky though i do not have to work or leave my house i live with my mom and i can stay in bed all day n that is what i plan on doing ...  i do not think i am in tolerance withdrawal because i have been there before when i first start this medication in 2013 it is nothing like that i just get insomnia for no reason my brain just does not shut off 

i also understand that my brain will turn things off long before harm is caused  and i know i will not die form a lack of sleep but just the crazy thoughts i get n the wave on overwhelming feeling i cant control scare me pretty bad like i feel like i am going to have a mental break down 

i also suffer from a pretty bad fear of leaving the house (agoraphobia) and when i get little sleep like this mind always thinks somthing will go wrong or happen n i will have to leave my house in this state to go to the hospital it like a bad health anxiety i hate it

Jumpman23,

 

As others have said, everything you are experiencing is "normal" during WD and recovery.  I used to think my day was ruined too if I didn't get 8 hours of solid sleep. In fact, it was that thinking that put me on Benzos in the first place. That's simply not true.  I had about 10 or 12 times during my WD and recovery where I got zero perceived sleep for 3 and sometimes 4 days in a row.  I know some on this forum had it a lot worse than me.  It's all relative to what you think you should have versus what you can "survive" on.  Sure, more sleep is better and we feel better, but how we react to something literally makes it better or worse. I'm not looking for a badge of honor or a pat on the back, but I went to work several times when I had no perceived sleep for 1, 2 or 3 days.  I didn't think I could handle it, but I learned I could...by being positive, showing gratitude and not talking about sleep with my coworkers or family.  It didn't end my insomnia, but made it way easier to deal with.  Now, when I get that off night once every few months, I can very easily deal with it.  In fact, I just had a 2 hour night 2 nights ago, but got about 8 hours last night.  6 hours of broken sleep is great.  I would have loved that amount during the thick of my WD induced insomnia.  Lack of sleep can magnify other symptoms.  I was afraid to go into a WalMart or even take my garbage down my driveway.  Hypochondria is actually a WD symptom.  I thought I had every illness in the book, but dozens of medical tests confirmed it was all WD.  Think of it this way.  Benzos down regulate GABA.  GABA is your body's "break pedal" or what helps keep you calm and relaxed so you are able to sleep.  Glutamate is your body's "gas pedal" or what makes you active and alert.  The 2 are in a constant balancing act, but when Benzos temporarily disable your body's brake pedal, your body's gas pedal is stuck to the floor...day and night.  That's why you are tired but wired at the same time and can't sleep and have all of the other symptoms you are describing.  I had SI pretty bad for awhile and I did get help from professional counselors that were familiar with Benzo WD.  I went to 4 different ERs over a few months.  ERs are for stabilizing care, not for treating Benzo WD, which most doctors won't even recognize.

 

It won't make it easier, but feeling like you are going crazy is common too.  I felt that way all the time...like someone or something was trying to take over my mind.  Unfortunately during Benzo WD induced insomnia nothing short of another drug will knock you out or help you sleep.  Do what you need to do, but please avoid all other Rx drugs for sleep.  They all eventually stop working over time.  I never thought I would heal or make it through to the "other side," but I did and hundreds of others did too.  Just take it day-by-day.  It gets better.  However, it is very UP and DOWN or 1 step forward, 2 steps back type of healing process.

All good reminders ThEwAy2. It is so easy to get caught up in that rabbit hole of despair when really the best thing we can do is to go with the waves and be as positive as can be. You hit the nail on the head for me when you mentioned talking about sleep issues at work. I started a new job in the beginning of December which exaggerated my insomnia for several weeks. I think it was the anxiety of starting in a new environment and the mental fatigue that comes with learning new things. I started to mention my insomnia because I was being clumsy. But really, no one wants to hear your problems. It is best to try and focus on the positives of the day rather than drag around the negatives. I find that I am happier and better functioning and I’m not coming off as a “Debbie Downer” to those around me.

I’m not saying it is easy because it isn’t. But how I think and present myself directly relates to how I ultimately feel. Easier said than done most days but a positive outlook does help!

Hang in there all. We got this! 

What an interesting thread. You guys are so intelligent, so thoughtful. I am impressed.

I am known on BB as the "Queen of Faking It." I have been yakking about this for over 7 years, but only because it worked so well for me. I used to be a negative, downer person. Debbie Downer indeed. That sort of thinking led me to taking benzos, alcohol, and other drugs. When I was forced to go CT off benzos my real life had just begun.

I did not know that at the time. My brain was so messed up from thirty years of benzos AND alcohol. I had not drunk alcohol for about 8 years before my CT off benzos. But my wd was truly awful.

In about my second month post CT I started faking it. Why? Because a decent therapist (CBT) had suggested this to me. When she told me to try this I blew her off as "New Age" nonsense. Oh how wrong I was. I can only guess that benzos and SSRIs prevented me from grasping this basic concept.

It has been proven that forcing oneself to be optimistic can slowly change how you deal with life's problems. I began doing this right from the minute I landed on BB....thank God I did find BB. I went back and read my first maybe 20 posts here, and NONE of them reflected how truly awful I felt.

Faking it, or whatever you want to call this, works damn well. The human brain is capable of so many wonderful things. One is able to "re-wire" your brain to think more positively.

It is now 7.5 years past my awful cold turkey off benzos and SSRIs. I am now a very positive person. God gave me a huge gift when "She/He told me to do this.  And it worked very well for me. I would encourage all of you to give this a big try.

It does work.

Benzo brains are huge messes. Benzo brains do not want to consider new ways of thinking. They live in fear of change, but change is exactly what one needs to do.

east

 

Wow eastcoast, you are a testament to how to "do" this thing. I am going to take your suggestion and fake it till I make it. It;s certainly worth a try. Heck, I've been faking being "ok" all these years and I'm still here. So switching it around to a positive end sounds good to me!

I don't have chronic insomnia these days, but sometimes I sleep badly for a few days in a row. A few years ago I discovered Benadryl (diphenhydramine) (you can read on side effects on Canada Drugs website) and it works well for me. It helps me stay asleep, and it also helps me to fall asleep up to a couple of hours earlier than my sleep time when I need to wake up earlier.