Only short bursts of rem nightmares - need reassurance

It's been 9 months and I only get short bursts of rem sleep every night with disturbing anxiety filled dreams. I woke up literally 20 times last night, with 20 minute segment sleep. It's like my brain is being plugged into a torture outlet and someone is plugging it in and pulling it ever 20 minutes and I have no control over it. Nightmare, wkae, nightmare, wake, rinse and repeat. One night equals to a hundred nights. Time goes by even slower than when I'm awake because of how I am tortured. I wake up with a very heavy and fatigued heart and fast heart rate. My wrinkle and frown lines are deepened every morning because the entire night I am suffering, both unconsciously and consciously. I only took benzos for about a month, full dose only 10 days. Surely the rem sleep I had "lost" has been "made up" by now, because it's been like this every night for the past 9 months. it's like my brain has "learned" this method of sleep to torture me, just like people with ptsd brain "learned" panic and anger and fear. i almost feel like being awake is less suffering than falling "asleep" but I know my body needs the rest.

 

I need reassurance from someone who has experienced what I am describing and has improved or recovered.

I’d also like to hear from someone who recovered from what you describe. I‘ve gotten deep sleep a handful of times in 2 years. The rest of the time it has been exactly as you describe, ptsd. I don’t think the REM rebound to “catch up” from a sleep deficit really applies to my situation either. Maybe someone can explain this.

Anyone?

Hellooooooo?

It's also disturbing because I haven't read of a similar symptom in success stories. Usually people write about going from total insomnia to hours to longer hours, but I haven't read of this torturous symptom. If I were to heal and write a success story this would be definitively be in my success story because it's almost worse than staying awake. Like the nights I lay awake I'm at least not running for my life or dying in nightmares and wake up fatigued 10 times throughout the night. Is this not benzo withdrawal? Is it ptsd insomnia?

I am still on some Clonazepam so am getting more sleep than you. When was off benzo completely couldn’t Sleep because throat closing everytime dropped off.

 

However I am having horrific nightmares where I am being mutilated and murdered and am bald and covered in boils.

 

 

Hey there, I'm hesitant to chime here because Im not as far off as you guys. But wanted to because I wanted you to know I had this EXACT same thing. This is what I THINK was happening:

I had total insomnia for months not sleeping at all for 2 days and would sleep for 1-2hours on the 3rd day. So just weeks and weeks of that. Then I started having the thing you are having: falling asleep over and over and over all night long going immediately into rem sleep with nightmares, then jerking awake and it was only 15-20 mins. Dear God! Over and over SO many times. For weeks and weeks.

So then, those 15 mins turned into 30, then an hour. So I would sleep for exactly 1 hour, then wake, then 1hour, wake etc. So I was waking around 7 times a night at that time. It then moved to 2 hours etc.  Then, as my sleep was trying to improve, my nerve pain Kept waking me (that's another story)

But what I think happened is that my body and system were trying so hard to fall asleep and regulate that it creates patterns. And when falling asleep and going into rem, our brain can have trouble shifting gears into the next sleep cycle (I know this from studying sleep/night terrors that my son used to have). I think it's very similar.

But here is the pattern I see, if you had total insomnia, and then now your brain is falling asleep (though wakes quickly from nightmare), that to me says your brain is actively working on falling asleep, especially if you can fall asleep over and over. I would tell my husband "I don't know how many times a person can fall asleep again in one night! This is crazy!'. But the fact that I was falling asleep did then improve to longer and longer periods.

I think for some people it just skips from no sleep to hours of sleep, boom. But for some of us it is just torturous minutes.

TOTALLY sucks!!!!!!!

I now only wake 1-3 times a night, and can always roll back over and go right back. Never thought that would come but it did.

The only last thing I have is to wish that it would get better for you soon. Hate that some things happen for some quicker. But I just wanted you to know that I did have this exact same thing, and that you weren't alone in having it.

 

Southernbelle,

How long did the insomnia cycle last for you? I feel as if I’m going nuts and have cortisol or adrenaline surges 24/7 and I am in the same cycle you describe with 2 nights zero and then one night 2. I am 2 months off and about 3 weeks ago, for the first time in 7 months, I started having a normal sleep where I woke only once in the night, felt rested and slept 7 hours. This lasted 5 days and then I got jolted into the insomnia/torturous anxiety cycle again for 2 weeks now. It’s horrible. Was there anything that helped you. I was taking melatonin, but that doesn’t even work now. Nobody believes me that a benzo could cause these problems and think I have psychological issues.

Miracle1111-

The total insomnia cycle of 2 days none and 3rd day 1-2 hour lasted for about between 3-4 months, then started the next cycles.

Sadly nothing helped me as many of us are super sensitive, so everything I tried sort of backfired. There are a few things some people have luck with, like magnesium, cbd oil, or even benedryl. I hope you start getting longer cycles sooner!

And yeah, I feel ya...people and doctors kept saying "no way you can go that many days without sleep" "and this can't still be withdrawal this far out from benzos" ugh! Thank God my family and my new awesome neurologist did believe me.

I'm really not sure how we all survive this much sleep deprivation, I truly don't. But we do!

Southernbelle:

How are you feeling now 6 months out right? I hope you are at least getting windows - I can’t wait for that time to come. Happy Holidays 💗

PTSDmiracle,

 

I had that weird nightmare thing with super light sleep and it went away. It seemed like all I could have were bad dreams so I'd go between periods of not sleeping and nightmares. Now I very rarely have any kind of bad dream. It was as if a backlog of nightmares had to be expressed and then my brain was done. Don't worry, this is temporary.

 

MT

MT, I must have one hell of a backlog since I’ve been having nightmares for a long time. Good to know it eventually stops.

MT, so your sleep became more restful and deep? I know it's all subjective but one can feel the difference.

 

Mine feels like night terrors, like my entire physiology is reacting to the dream, my muscles tighten my face scrunches up, even my heart rate is faster so my entire body is exhausted upon actually waking. It happens fragmented 5-10 times per night, sometimes more.

I see someone on another thread said if they ate a couple of crackers Everton e they woke up it improved their sleep.

Im going to try the adrenal cocktail a few have suggested: Orange juice, salt, and cream of tartar before bed. Nothing to lose.

DBM keep us posted! Will it make me sleep?

I wish I could say yes!!!    I’ve never tried it before, so we’ll see.

PTSD,

 

I am 41 months off and now get very restful, restorative sleep pretty much every night.  I started sleeping better over 2 years ago, but it has slowly improved over the last 2 years to the point where I am now getting 9 or 10 hours some nights.    I still have lots of REM sleep, but not nearly as much as I did the first 2 years off.  It gets better and evens out over time.  I never thought I would sleep normally and now I hardly ever even think about sleep except for that off night every few months.  That's  why I don't frequent this site much any more.  It's so easy to forget about those still suffering when your life is back to normal.  But you too will cross the finish line one day...I promise.  Hang in there and believe what others tell you that made it to the other side.