Paradoxical - Jumped at 1.5 mg xanax. Second CT. Now 3 years off. Need advice!

Little of my story:

I had been on 2-3mg xanax daily for 7-8 years, and it worked very well for my anxiety.

A new doc forced me to taper off in 5 days in 2010, and I was non functional until I found another doc one year later that gave me the prescription back. I reinstated and I felt alive again.

In 2017 I was in a lot off work related stress and started taking 0.5 - 1 mg extra.

Suddenly one day, I got paradoxical reactions after taking my dose.

It felt like unbearable CT, and happened every time since I took my dose.  I decided to get off quickly because I suspected that I was in either tolerance withdrawal, or it maybe was an long term side effect.

I couldn't take xanax more but tried to hang on with a taper. This taper was very rapid, and I jumped at 1.5 mg xanax. So this is my second CT.

Now I’m getting closer to 3 years off, and still dealing with the constant unbearable anxiety,  CNS feels like being on overdrive, unable to think clear, horrible muscle  tensions, jaw tensions, tinnitus - tschh sound in head and daily headaches. I did’nt had this bad anxiety before withdrawal. It does still feel kind of acute, just little sligther. Can it really be post acute withdrawal this far out? Or is it just rebound anxiety for years due to CT?

What do you think would happen if reinstate a second time?

Can't take xanax - Can't function without it.

What would you do in such case?

Thanks for any advice

Little of my story:

I had been on 2-3mg xanax daily for 7-8 years, and it worked very well for my anxiety.

A new doc forced me to taper off in 5 days in 2010, and I was non functional until I found another doc one year later that gave me the prescription back. I reinstated and I felt alive again.

 

In 2017 I was in a lot off work related stress and started taking 0.5 - 1 mg extra.

Suddenly one day, I got paradoxical reactions after taking my dose.

It felt like unbearable CT, and happened every time since I took my dose.  I decided to get off quickly because I suspected that I was in either tolerance withdrawal, or it maybe was an long term side effect.

I couldn't take xanax more but tried to hang on with a taper. This taper was very rapid, and I jumped at 1.5 mg xanax. So this is my second CT.

 

Now I’m getting closer to 3 years off, and still dealing with the constant unbearable anxiety,  CNS feels like being on overdrive, unable to think clear, horrible muscle  tensions, jaw tensions, tinnitus - tschh sound in head and daily headaches. I did’nt had this bad anxiety before withdrawal. It does still feel kind of acute, just little sligther. Can it really be post acute withdrawal this far out? Or is it just rebound anxiety for years due to CT?

 

What do you think would happen if reinstate a second time?

 

Can't take xanax - Can't function without it.

What would you do in such case?

Thanks for any advice

Sounds like it could be protracted. When you say you were non-functional after your first CT, was it chiefly because of extreme anxiety or did you have other WD symptoms? Also HOLY CRAP and shame on that doctor for such a rapid taper on such a high dose. Unbelievable.

Here is my take. I know hindsight is 20/20. But you probably should not have reinstated. But, you did, so we will go from there.

Yes. It sure cold still be related to benzo wd that you feel so anxious now. It took me over 4 years to feel normal in any way. Yes, my story is extreme, abusing benzos for thirty years. But I have also met many here on BB who had as long a wd as I did and they hardly used much at all. This seems to be a very individual thing.

My suggestion is that you now focus on new ways to cope with anxiety that do not involve taking a drug. There are so many natural ways, and most are super easy to do. All it takes is determination, and practice. You have to PRACTICE doing this stuff in order to have them work.

My personal opinion is that you should not reinstate. It may not make you feel better. In fact it could make you feel worse. Cannot explain this..I just know this from 7 years on BB. I would guess that one's brain becomes sort of sensitized, and reinstating may just make that worse. I feel you should just keep on going on and learn better ways to cope with anxiety. Maybe CBT therapy??? Can you let me know how you are doing? Feel free to PM me.

east (Annie)