6.5 months. Need help.

Sorry I need to vent again.  My symptoms are really not improving considering 6.5 months without drugs.  Still 0-2hrs sleep per night and about 10hrs per week. I did however manage a couple 3 hrs nights after taking U-Dream supplement.  Didn't help after that.  I never feel rested but I guess I should not expect to feel so with such minimal sleep. I also never get sleepy and tired behind the eyes.  Never an urge to sleep.  This is very disturbing. 

 

My head symptoms and tinnitus actually seem to be getting a bit worse. 

 

I don't know what is going on.  The last time my withdrawal and recovery happened over 4 to 6 months.  This time there is no relief.  At this point what can I do?  Feel I am up against a wall. Benzos could maybe knock me out and relieve some of my head pain.  But it seems like a dead end. 

 

I try to distract and keep busy but it is not helping.  Feel panic non-stop.  Still almost complete loss of emotions but I can cry occasionally about this situation.  Still feel like a disconnected alien. 

 

Thanks for listening.  I am so lost. 

Something that helped me sleep was Nyquil. I would take four capsules and it would allow me to get about four hours of good sleep and then I would wake up with a jolt and take four more and go back to sleep for a few more hours. I shouldn't recommend it because there is Tylenol in Nyquil and I was obviously taking more than the 3gm limit, but I HAD to sleep and that made me sleep. This is very dangerous to do, so like I say, I shouldn't recommend it, but it worked and I'm alive and my liver enzymes are okay. Just something I thought I would throw out there if you get really desperate. have you tried Kratom? The red vein helps me sleep like a baby!!!

Yea I wouldn't abuse NyQuil like that. Pretty dangerous.

 

I'm in the same boat as you numb, I also feel like many symptoms are worsening after 9 months. I feel like my body is suffering continuously from the lack of sleep and neurological imbalance. My heart is very weak, pumps fast, I already have a heart block prior to benzos.

Oops posted to soon. Just want to say hang in there and don't give up. I get what you're going through.

I have had a couple nights of 3 or 4 hours of sleep even off the U-Dream.  Two better nights in 2 weeks.  Still feel horrible but this is at least hopeful.  It is likely sleep will improve eventually since I experienced a handful of 3 to 4 hour sleeps in last couple months.  I still feel like crap though.  My symptoms list is growing. 

 

Head pressure, burning, stabbing. 

No emotion, detached, no love, no interest, dp/dr.

Uncomfortable head tingling caused by music I used to enjoy.

Inability to concentrate, blank mind (just no thoughts come to mind and it makes it impossible to socialize). 

Tinnitus

Burning tongue

Fatigue and weakness

Quick muscle wasting/atrophy

Sorry you are still suffering so badly, but at 6.5 months off you are still pretty early in the process:

 

As others have said, everything you are experiencing is "normal" during WD and recovery.  I used to think my day was ruined too if I didn't get 8 hours of solid sleep. In fact, it was that thinking that put me on Benzos in the first place. That's simply not true.  I had about 10 or 12 times during my WD and recovery where I got zero perceived sleep for 3 and sometimes 4 days in a row.  I know some on this forum had it a lot worse than me.  It's all relative to what you think you should have versus what you can "survive" on.  Sure, more sleep is better and we feel better, but how we react to something literally makes it better or worse. I'm not looking for a badge of honor or a pat on the back, but I went to work several times when I had no perceived sleep for 1, 2 or 3 days.  I didn't think I could handle it, but I learned I could...by being positive, showing gratitude and not talking about sleep with my coworkers or family.  It didn't end my insomnia, but made it way easier to deal with.  Now, when I get that off night once every few months, I can very easily deal with it.  In fact, I just had a 2 hour night 2 nights ago, but got about 8 hours last night.  6 hours of broken sleep is great.  I would have loved that amount during the thick of my WD induced insomnia.  Lack of sleep can magnify other symptoms.  I was afraid to go into a WalMart or even take my garbage down my driveway.  Hypochondria is actually a WD symptom.  I thought I had every illness in the book, but dozens of medical tests confirmed it was all WD.  Think of it this way.  Benzos down regulate GABA.  GABA is your body's "break pedal" or what helps keep you calm and relaxed so you are able to sleep.  Glutamate is your body's "gas pedal" or what makes you active and alert.  The 2 are in a constant balancing act, but when Benzos temporarily disable your body's brake pedal, your body's gas pedal is stuck to the floor...day and night.  That's why you are tired but wired at the same time and can't sleep and have all of the other symptoms you are describing. 

 

Unfortunately during Benzo WD induced insomnia nothing short of another drug will knock you out or help you sleep.  Do what you need to do, but please avoid all other Rx drugs for sleep.  They all eventually stop working over time.  I never thought I would heal or make it through to the "other side," but I did and hundreds of others did too.  Just take it day-by-day.  It gets better.  However, it is very UP and DOWN or 1 step forward, 2 steps back type of healing process.  It WILL get better though.  Just hang in there the best you can given the crummy circumstances.  Distract, accept and be grateful for any sleep you do get.  You'll get to the other side one day.  Promise! WD isn't always pretty, but making it to the other side sure is beautiful.

Not all Nyquil pills have Tylenol in them.