Brain jolts that wake me up as soon as I fall asleep

This is the reason why I haven't started tapering again. I would never sleep a minute if it weren't for the trazodone and gabapentin plus the valium I take at night. When I'm dozing to sleep in the daytime out of sheer exhaustion, a brain jolt wakes me due to what I would describe as a glutamate storm in my brain keeping it on fire permanently. I can deal with myself as I distract working and going about with my life, but when it comes to sleep (as at some point a person needs to rest), this brain jolt jolts me up. Thank God the trazodone and gabapentin is working at night. In summer I was so bad that I would sleep nothing because not even the trazodone plus gabapentin plus valium would interrupt these jolts for ten minutes. Anyway, has anyone been there and does this go away eventually? I've been holding for five months.

 

PS: I don't want any opinions on my other meds or on "tolerance withdrawal" due to my hold. I have gotten much better through holding and the warnings on "tolerance withdrawal" is what got me in this horrible crash in the first place. As for the other meds, they might be bad but I'm not opening this thread to discuss my meds. What I want to know is if anyone has had this horrible symptom and if it eventually got better. Thank you for reading this far.

When I got illin 1996 before any Benzos this was one of my symptoms. It felt like there was not oxygen getting to my brain. They put me on Zopiclone.

 

When a I was off diazepam first time this returned but this time felt like it was as my neck relaxed enough for head to relax and drop off something moved in my throat and choked me and woke me up.

 

For me it is a neck tho g O think. If O swallow I can feel pain in outside of upper neck on right and have lots of degeneration.

 

This is very common. Once I realized it’s so common and harmless, I’m learning to ignore them. Once you get past this stage of sleep, it stops.  The anxiety makes it worse and can make it continue through the night.  Most people ignore it and probably forget about it in the morning, but benzo withdrawal people feel it to a greater degree because our nervous system is heightened.  It’s just worse for us.  But if you can learn to ignore it and be calm, it will help you with all anxiety while awake too.  It’s been a great challenge and sometimes I just have to accept I need to be awake and distract on my phone for a while, but it’s lessening overall.

This is very common. Once I realized it’s so common and harmless, I’m learning to ignore them. Once you get past this stage of sleep, it stops.  The anxiety makes it worse and can make it continue through the night.  Most people ignore it and probably forget about it in the morning, but benzo withdrawal people feel it to a greater degree because our nervous system is heightened.  It’s just worse for us.  But if you can learn to ignore it and be calm, it will help you with all anxiety while awake too.  It’s been a great challenge and sometimes I just have to accept I need to be awake and distract on my phone for a while, but it’s lessening overall.

 

Thank you so much saige. It's common but I see people reporting naps, nightmares (which means they're sleeping). I don't know how to ignore something that keeps me awake. It's like torture. That's actually a form of torture they use with prisoners. If they do that it's because it's not so easy to ignore. I don't see it's so common. I see people saying "once again I wake up to another day of hell". Yes OK but at least they slept! Sorry I'm freaking out.

 

Ajusta I think we have different issues, but thanks for chiming in 

I’m so sorry, I think it’s the same though.  It sounds like you’re experiencing myoclonic jerks.  I know it is like torture and your mind goes to impending doom thoughts right? It’s a seizure like jerk for a second?  Then your heart is racing and the Adrenalin response kicks in.  I definitely know it’s not easy and often impossible to ignore.  Is it every night? It seems to go in cycles for me.

Thank you for your patience Saige. At night it usually doesn't happen now. In summer for two months I slept nothing. Then the updose, hold, gabapentin and trazodone, started making it possible to sleep most nights. However if I try to get some shut eye during the day time it's impossible. That makes me depressed because I know I'm stuck at this dose. I absolutely need to be functional. I can't afford to do what people do, c stop working, housebound. I mean that's impossible in my circumstances. Yes it must be myoclonic jerks. It comes from the brain, not from the body. I know you probably don't know what else to say, but thanks for trying to help.

They are myoclonic jerks and I used to get them while on the benzo especially trying to nap. They got much worse after I cold turkey’d and on/off for the first year of recovery. I did heal 100% from that symptom.

They are myoclonic jerks and I used to get them while on the benzo especially trying to nap. They got much worse after I cold turkey’d and on/off for the first year of recovery. I did heal 100% from that symptom.

 

Thank you niners. What happened on month 9 that sent you back into acute?

They are myoclonic jerks and I used to get them while on the benzo especially trying to nap. They got much worse after I cold turkey’d and on/off for the first year of recovery. I did heal 100% from that symptom.

 

Thank you niners. What happened on month 9 that sent you back into acute?

 

Stress from work caused my setback. 

Oh God. I'm glad you're feeling better and working part time. I'm scared to see how stress can set us back so badly.