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Psychotic stuff?


[Aj...]

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This is getting really bad for me and I need to know if other have this or, better still, had it and it went away.

 

For instance: I had to go to hospital on Monday and the cars with their LED lights in early morning looked like they were alive and snarling and would start sort of bouncing around f like wild animals.

 

The painting in the hospital room terrified me. I get this a lot - terror from pictures of anything. - food, nature etc people look unreal and made of rubber and I get a strong sense of repulsion with this stuff.

 

My Neuro showed me the spinal fluid he too in tubes and it was clear and my brain started to think he was just humouring me and hadn’t done the test at all and it was water.

I get that stuff a lot - that none of this is real. That this site is fake and none of you exist, that everyone is just lying, that I am dead or in a parallel universe I can’t escape from etc.

 

Sometimes this thinking gets very frightening because it feels like I really am losing myself to it completely.

 

 

Does anyone else have this stuff?

 

I was on Benzos for spasm for God’s sake. Never had anything like this before.

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Yes Ajusta.  I have had this sort of stuff. 

 

Even that  BB is fake.  None of it was real.  Run by some organisation that were not being honest with me.  Ulterior motives.  :D  Gawd help me!  Had to remind myself that paranoia was listed as a symptom, so I kept going.  Kept the faith. 

 

I KNEW I was not TRULY psychotic.  I think it would have presented before now, at age 71.  Didn't present with psychiatrist I was seeing for more than 20 years.  Yet still, he wanted to prescribe me Seroquil.  I declined.  I laughed at him.  His ignorance.  His readiness to prescribe medication in the blink of an eye.  Had not heard of Heather Ashton.  And him, a psychiatrist.  :idiot:

 

Once, no more than once, had to take a necessary trip to the shops (starve otherwise) and every bloody person on the street looked as if they were DEAD.  Like REALLY dead, yet still they were walking.  Terrible stuff. Beyond words.  No one gets it, and if they do (doctors etc), get pinned with schizophrenia, or something else on same spectrum.  Want to dispense anti psychotics.  Too easy. 

I resisted. 

 

There is a statue of a lion in one of my neighbours front yard.  Walked past it and thought the mongrel was going to savage me.  Eat me alive.  It's eyes were terrifying.  So many things Ajusta.  Even the shapes, textures, that you describe. 

 

This NO LONGER HAPPENS to me Ajusta  :thumbsup: at 9 months off Valium.  If you did not have a psychotic condition before benzo withdrawal I don't think you have one NOW. 

 

Just to let you know that I've experienced that sort of shit too.  No emoticon to describe.  >:D :'(

 

Seems like everything (symptoms) are still THERE, but totally reduced and manageable.  More like 'normal' anxiety.  I definitely still have HIGH anxiety, but nothing as you describe in your post and which I have endured as well.  IT GETS BETTER. 

 

This experience has been traumatic.  Little doubt my anxiety is high.  Fear of it ever returning.  I don't think it will now. 

 

Just to say, Ajusta. 

 

Dee

:smitten:

 

 

 

 

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Thank you so much!

 

Crying with relief.

 

Was at massage the other day and there was a big model oh ‘accupunture man’ with all the points marked on him and thought he was goi g to start matching g around the room. Freaking terrifying.

 

I get terror from touching stuff as well- feels like world is disintegrating and I will explode and now having to retaper a different benzo and muscles still crushing my body which has altered sensation inside and out.

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I'm so happy I could help in some small way Ajusta.  No one should be left to languish in this sort of stuff without reassurance.  I honestly don't know how I got through it.  And I'm still not recovered by any means.  Still, it is HEAPS better. 

 

I don't get the muscular stuff you experience.  Well, not to the same degree.  My leg muscles and hips have me walking a little rigidly, but I can manage, and believe this too will improve with Time.

 

But beyond doubt have experienced the pseudo psychotic symptoms you describe.  The walking dead.  The beast about to rip my throat out.  Threat everywhere.  Disgust.  Repulsion. 

 

I suppose it IS psychosis, but not a true psychosis.  Benzo WD inspired.  It is the scariest thing in the world, and am so sorry it is happening to you too. 

 

Your description of 'acupuncture man' made complete sense to me.  :o:crazy:

 

We are going to survive this.

 

Dee

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AJUSTA: I think you were very strong. A very common symptom is that you cannot be outdoors. So you can be proud, it's a success!

 

A friend has ME/CFS. And then you are extremely tired, and can not do anything. So this was also a very big success on the same day!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

:mybuddy:

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When will you receive the analysis of the spinal fluid? The fact that it is clear minimizes the chance it's bacteria.  Other things like virus particles or antibodies take time in the laboratory to discover.

 

Please have someone staying with you during this time. Should you have one of those disorienting events, you'll need a helper, especially if it requires medical assistance. Better to be extra cautious.

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Thanks all.

 

There is nobody to stay with me most of the time and this stuff is pretty much constant.

Everything in my flat terrifies me. Voices terrify me, the T. Terrifies me, typing this on my iPad terrifies me because the keyboard jumps out 3D and al, the graphics when open app etc move to fast and zoom out too much.

 

What possible medical assistance could anyone give me?

 

It happened during last taper but not so badly or with everything and eased after I took a small dose of Memantine so I might have to get some of that agin to see if will ease the excess glutamate.

 

Will get results from tests in new year. He is checking g for Stiff Person Syndrome, Autoimmune Stiff, Lyme, Encephalitis, infections etc.

 

 

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