30 months later...

Hi everybody,

In my last update, sleep was on the good way. Today it's just normal, I fall asleep in 15 min, may be one nocturnal wake up during the night, and final wake up after 6 or 7 hours of good sleep.

 Just unbelievable that 7 months ago I was struggling with deep sleep disorders...

And the toxic naps are gone !!!

What a pleasure to feel comfortable and relax after a nap....

God, I realized how much this "little life things" can be so important.

I had a very,very bad wave between month 28 and month 30 due to a big infection( I took ciprofloxacin antibiotics...).

It was very discouraging to feel so horrible during those long weeks, especially after 28 months of hell.

But I made it, again !!

Improvements from last update

- Apathy and tired times are less intense.

- no more any body pain, only some small headache and body aches.

 -The same for manic and obsessive behaviors, great progress in this area !

- social life and human relationships close to be "normal" beside anger still present...(anger due to the length of the Withdrawal)

- anxiety gradually decreases slowly, really bearable today

symptoms remaining

- short term memory loss, some cog fog and cognitive disorders.....its getting me mad and angry !!!

- no longer feeling love and good emotions.

This symptom has appeared 15 days after the last benzo dose.

How I have could survived all this time, 30 months, in a such unbelievable distress ?

This is just a miracle...

God, life means nothing without emotion and love...

 It is so enormous that it makes me cry...and I didn't cry for a long time, that's a good thing.

The fight is not over, but the good rage is inside me and I want to be ready for my new life, soon.

Be strong, don't loose the faith, stay calm Buddies, there is an end to this hell.

Hey, Braddis. Congratulations on your progress! It is good to hear you are sleeping better. My sleep is returning ever so slowly too. I am able to nap again and I'm having dreams at night that are not nightmares. I can't say I feel good after the naps, necessarily, but I'm able to do it again.

I'm having a hard time with cog fog and anxiety too which is turning into anger for me. It is an awful feeling. I felt it today at work during a staff meeting. I hope the cognitive stuff improves and the anxiety improves and we get our emotions back, the ones of love towards hobbies and people. I think that's another big reason why I'm angry all the time too. The duration of these symptoms that I do not remember having prior to starting the benzo are what's creating the anger for me and possibly trauma from how long this has gone on.

Thanks for your support Buddies !

To answer to ptsdmiracle, I am functional from the beginning. l'v never been bedridden or unable to act. Fortunately for me, my work do not require particular attention and my boss was aware of my withdrawal.

The same for sport and exercises, it's helped me a lot to distract myself from this nightmare. I felt myself like a monk for more than one year, no way to have a normal talk or a normal behavior. Weird...