Big Wave

I'm being hit with a really big wave.  It started Friday with constant jerking, waves of anxiety coursing through my body, total insomnia, dizziness, bad tinnitus, etc.  I feel so sick.

 

I was doing much better.  I've been going for radiation treatments every day for the past month for prostate cancer and I think the added physical work of going to the treatments put stress on my body.  It's about a hour drive through heavy traffic each way, plus having to go through the process of the treatment itself.

 

I'm sorry for sounding so negative but I'm so exhausted and feeling so hopeless.  I need to continue the radiation treatments for another 4 weeks yet. 

 

I feel exactly the way I did when I was in acute.  Has anyone else had this kind of wave at almost the 2 year point?  I really feel like I'm back at day 1 again.

I’m sorry you got hit with a double whammy. It stinks. I just got hit with acute after being off for more than six months. I’ll say one thing is for certain, there is no rhyme or reason to our symptoms. I know stress can make them worse so hopefully a month from now you’ll start to feel better..good luck ....

Yes, severe wave at month 23. Immeasurable suffering and a lot of anger at the situation. No refreshing sleep and zombie face. Severe fatigue with constant feeling of needing to stretch, but unable to get any relief whatsoever. Amazing.

Yes, I'm just coming out of one that started 5 days ago and went to epic proportions, way worse than acute, i honestly didn't think I'd live through it, adrenaline surges from another dimension, heart rate and bp off the chart, I'm very shaken by the brutality of it. At 23 months off just wasn't expecting this but i think it's because my cns took a big hit 3 months ago by me being extremely unwell, feel like I'm back at the starting line whereas a few months ago i felt almost healed. Certainly don't want a repeat performance. Crazy stuff.

 

My heart breaks for all of you.

BBG - you're dealing with a lot of big stressors. Seems likely to me your wave is your sensitized CNS straining to deal with this new level of stress. I agree with benzogirl that your wave will ease up when you're no longer in the midst of going for radiation 

I'm so sorry you're coping with so much - please be kind and gentle with yourself.

Sending you wishes for healing,

BD

Thanks for all your replies.  I'm now trying to survive minute by minute.  That's all I can do.

 

My mind is trying to figure out what caused this huge wave.  It feels so much just like it did when I quit CT.  A part of my mind thinks that someone put a benzo in my food or drink to mess with me, but I know that is just my benzo brain overthinking.

 

I feel exactly as I did 23 months ago.  My body just keeps jerking and twitching and having huge adrenaline rushes.  The funny thing is, my doctor wanted to put me on a new medication last week for something else.  I didn't take it yet.  If I had taken it, I would now be blaming my symptoms on the new drug.

 

I just don't understand why my symptoms are so bad if there was any "healing" over the past 23 months.  It doesn't seem logical.

BBG I'm so sorry you're suffering so much, stay strong over there! it's probably the radiation treatments that brought on they acute back don't you think? my aunt just recently did radiation also and she doesn't have bwd so but she was still suffering from that quite a bit, it affects your immune system just like benzos do, hopefully youll be done with the txs soon, wish you continued healing.

I am 25 months off and still having really bad waves. It is like in acute. Not so many sxs maybe but I feel really sick all the time. Most physical. Will this turn that corner soon? I am so done with this. Not many windows. During these 2 years I have had 1 nice window...it was on the day of my 2 years mark

Just to let everyone know, I'm doing much better than I was a few days ago.  Thanks for all your support.

 

I still feel a little shaky and jerk a little, but not like I was.  I was jerking a lot and having what felt like waves of adrenaline coursing through my body.  It is really an awful feeling if you get that symptom.  No way to make yourself comfortable, just 24x7 torture.  The thing that really helped me this time was taking 1/2 a benadryl tablet every 4 to 6 hours for a couple days.  In all, I took about 6 tablets.

 

I think the thing that sparked this wave was the increase in stress and activity in my life for the cancer treatments.  I've heard of others having waves due to overdoing it too soon. 

I think the thing that sparked this wave was the increase in stress and activity in my life for the cancer treatments.  I've heard of others having waves due to overdoing it too soon.

 

Absolutely! I'm convinced stress and overdoing it will send you into a wave.  So glad you're feeling better!  Thanks for letting us know. 

I agree. When I feel a lot of stress I go into a major wave.

I'm sorry for your suffering. If I ever get cancer I would never go for radiation treatment. I would use turmeric with black pepper and some other types of natural treatment. And that could also cause me setbacks.

I'm also surprised that you're possibly not aware that radiation could cause you a setback if your brain didn't heal completely?

It could be also stress to worsen symptoms, but radiation is probably much more probable cause plus everything else they injected in your body.

I'm also surprised that nobody told you that already in this topic.

Dear BenzoBGone, I wish you all the luck. We all need it during this horrible suffering.

I'm sorry for your suffering. If I ever get cancer I would never go for radiation treatment. I would use turmeric with black pepper and some other types of natural treatment. And that could also cause me setbacks.

I'm also surprised that you're possibly not aware that radiation could cause you a setback if your brain didn't heal completely?

It could be also stress to worsen symptoms, but radiation is probably much more probable cause plus everything else they injected in your body.

I'm also surprised that nobody told you that already in this topic.

Dear BenzoBGone, I wish you all the luck. We all need it during this horrible suffering.

 

alokin,

 

You've made some blanket (not to mention insensitive) statements which require you to back them up with actual studies as to their veracity, please provide links so others may know what you know, otherwise, it would be best if you avoid heaping more fear onto someone who is suffering.

 

Pamster

Just to let everyone know, I'm doing much better than I was a few days ago.  Thanks for all your support.

 

I still feel a little shaky and jerk a little, but not like I was.  I was jerking a lot and having what felt like waves of adrenaline coursing through my body.  It is really an awful feeling if you get that symptom.  No way to make yourself comfortable, just 24x7 torture.  The thing that really helped me this time was taking 1/2 a benadryl tablet every 4 to 6 hours for a couple days.  In all, I took about 6 tablets.

 

I think the thing that sparked this wave was the increase in stress and activity in my life for the cancer treatments.  I've heard of others having waves due to overdoing it too soon.

 

Hi BenzoBGone,

 

I'm glad to hear you're feeling a little better, I'm sure the stress of driving so far in heavy traffic made things worse for you, on top of everything else you've got going on.  I've heard of people using Benadryl, I'm glad it helped you.

 

Pamster

I'm sorry for your suffering. If I ever get cancer I would never go for radiation treatment. I would use turmeric with black pepper and some other types of natural treatment. And that could also cause me setbacks.

I'm also surprised that you're possibly not aware that radiation could cause you a setback if your brain didn't heal completely?

It could be also stress to worsen symptoms, but radiation is probably much more probable cause plus everything else they injected in your body.

I'm also surprised that nobody told you that already in this topic.

Dear BenzoBGone, I wish you all the luck. We all need it during this horrible suffering.

 

alokin,

 

You've made some blanket (not to mention insensitive) statements which require you to back them up with actual studies as to their veracity, please provide links so others may know what you know, otherwise, it would be best if you avoid heaping more fear onto someone who is suffering.

 

Pamster

 

You should also back up claims then benzodiazepines could damage brain because 99% of doctors wouldn't agree with you.

Most of pharmaceutical drugs affects CNS. I had terrible setback becuase of 1 pill of paracetamol 2 years ago that almost made me to commit suicide and I still didn't recover.

Of course that radiation and everything they injected into him caused him setback.

As a moderator you should also know that. There are many many things that could cause setbacks:

http://w-bad.org/reactions-setbacks/

 

This board wouldn't exist at all if "actual studies" mean anything at all.

Your 'science based medicine' killed almost half million people in US in last 10 years with opioids and you still believe them. LOL

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/danvergano/opioid-overdose-decade-war-on-drugs

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-49718388

I'm sorry for your suffering. If I ever get cancer I would never go for radiation treatment. I would use turmeric with black pepper and some other types of natural treatment. And that could also cause me setbacks.

I'm also surprised that you're possibly not aware that radiation could cause you a setback if your brain didn't heal completely?

It could be also stress to worsen symptoms, but radiation is probably much more probable cause plus everything else they injected in your body.

I'm also surprised that nobody told you that already in this topic.

Dear BenzoBGone, I wish you all the luck. We all need it during this horrible suffering.

 

alokin,

 

You've made some blanket (not to mention insensitive) statements which require you to back them up with actual studies as to their veracity, please provide links so others may know what you know, otherwise, it would be best if you avoid heaping more fear onto someone who is suffering.

 

Pamster

 

You should also back up claims then benzodiazepines could damage brain because 99% of doctors wouldn't agree with you.

Most of pharmaceutical drugs affects CNS. I had terrible setback becuase of 1 pill of paracetamol 2 years ago that almost made me to commit suicide and I still didn't recover.

Of course that radiation and everything they injected into him caused him setback.

As a moderator you should also know that. There are many many things that could cause setbacks:

http://w-bad.org/reactions-setbacks/

 

This board wouldn't exist at all if "actual studies" mean anything at all.

Your 'science based medicine' killed almost half million people in US in last 10 years with opioids and you still believe them. LOL

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/danvergano/opioid-overdose-decade-war-on-drugs

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-49718388

 

Again alokin, a blanket statement.  I looked at the link but in order to confirm your statement, I'd need to know the drug or drugs used in radiation therapy, do you know?  Also, I didn't see anything about radiation therapy mentioned, please provide a source. 

 

I'm not here to debate the opioid epidemic and as for being a moderator, this title doesn't make me an expert.  My job is to follow up on posts such as yours, and ask that you provide the source for your statements made as fact.  If you had prefaced your post from the standpoint of "this is what happened to me" or "in my experience" this would have been acceptable, but you didn't do this, so...please provide the material to back up your statements.

 

Pamster

I'm sorry for your suffering. If I ever get cancer I would never go for radiation treatment. I would use turmeric with black pepper and some other types of natural treatment. And that could also cause me setbacks.

I'm also surprised that you're possibly not aware that radiation could cause you a setback if your brain didn't heal completely?

It could be also stress to worsen symptoms, but radiation is probably much more probable cause plus everything else they injected in your body.

I'm also surprised that nobody told you that already in this topic.

Dear BenzoBGone, I wish you all the luck. We all need it during this horrible suffering.

 

alokin,

 

You've made some blanket (not to mention insensitive) statements which require you to back them up with actual studies as to their veracity, please provide links so others may know what you know, otherwise, it would be best if you avoid heaping more fear onto someone who is suffering.

 

Pamster

 

You should also back up claims then benzodiazepines could damage brain because 99% of doctors wouldn't agree with you.

Most of pharmaceutical drugs affects CNS. I had terrible setback becuase of 1 pill of paracetamol 2 years ago that almost made me to commit suicide and I still didn't recover.

Of course that radiation and everything they injected into him caused him setback.

As a moderator you should also know that. There are many many things that could cause setbacks:

http://w-bad.org/reactions-setbacks/

 

This board wouldn't exist at all if "actual studies" mean anything at all.

Your 'science based medicine' killed almost half million people in US in last 10 years with opioids and you still believe them. LOL

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/danvergano/opioid-overdose-decade-war-on-drugs

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-49718388

 

Again alokin, a blanket statement.  I looked at the link but in order to confirm your statement, I'd need to know the drug or drugs used in radiation therapy, do you know?  Also, I didn't see anything about radiation therapy mentioned, please provide a source. 

 

I'm not here to debate the opioid epidemic and as for being a moderator, this title doesn't make me an expert.  My job is to follow up on posts such as yours, and ask that you provide the source for your statements made as fact.  If you had prefaced your post from the standpoint of "this is what happened to me" or "in my experience" this would have been acceptable, but you didn't do this, so...please provide the material to back up your statements.

 

Pamster

 

I also probably have right to my own opinion?

So, even if radiation is not the cause of setback, other things injected into body during the procedure most probably are the cause and that is my opinion. That opinion is also based on the fact that all pharmaceutical drugs are strong chemical soups that most of the time cross the blood-brain barrier - from painkillers and anesthesia to antibiotics and all of those affects CNS, almost without exception.

Someone who is heavily damaged with benzos like me could suffer from a major setbacks even from smaller doses of substances that affect brain, especially GABA receptors.

 

I see that moderators/admins let people here all the time to claim that Magnesium is perfectly safe and that also antibiotics or painkillers and some other drugs are mostly safe and with such statements they could literally kill someone who is not educated enough. That was also the reason why I had second setback because of magnesium 1.5 year ago - because I read a lot of nonsense here claiming that Magnesium somehow helps and that it's perfectly safe.

To some people it's safe. To many other who are heavily damaged with benzos it isn't.

 

So, it's sad that this forum could be sometimes much more harmful then helpful simply because moderators are more focused on banal things than on things that could literally harm someone (for example some members are trying to convince other members to take something that could be very dangerous to take).

I'm pretty much sure that majority of members here have good intentions, but most of them are not educated enough to understand that once the brain is damaged with benzo that Magnesium or some other supplement/drug won't affect damaged brain the same way as it would affect healthy brain.

I also probably have right to my own opinion?

So, even if radiation is not the cause of setback, other things injected into body during the procedure most probably are the cause and that is my opinion. That opinion is also based on the fact that all pharmaceutical drugs are strong chemical soups that most of the time cross the blood-brain barrier - from painkillers and anesthesia to antibiotics and all of those affects CNS, almost without exception.

Someone who is heavily damaged with benzos like me could suffer from a major setbacks even from smaller doses of substances that affect brain, especially GABA receptors.

 

I see that moderators/admins let people here all the time to claim that Magnesium is perfectly safe and that also antibiotics or painkillers and some other drugs are mostly safe and with such statements they could literally kill someone who is not educated enough. That was also the reason why I had second setback because of magnesium 1.5 year ago - because I read a lot of nonsense here claiming that Magnesium somehow helps and that it's perfectly safe.

To some people it's safe. To many other who are heavily damaged with benzos it isn't.

 

So, it's sad that this forum could be sometimes much more harmful then helpful simply because moderators are more focused on banal things than on things that could literally harm someone (for example some members are trying to convince other members to take something that could be very dangerous to take).

I'm pretty much sure that majority of members here have good intentions, but most of them are not educated enough to understand that once the brain is damaged with benzo that Magnesium or some other supplement/drug won't affect damaged brain the same way as it would affect healthy brain.

 

You absolutely have a right to your opinion, and debating what caused the OP's setback is not what is at issue here, it was your statement of fact concerning radiation.  But lets move on.

 

You bring up the thread where you weighed in on the dangers of magnesium, in which you made this statement as fact:  "Magnesium affects GABA just like benzos"

I'm hopeful you didn't intend this statement as fact because if as you say of our members that "most of them are not educated enough to understand", then your comments could certainly mislead those who don't have the understanding of this process you claim to have.

 

I take issue with your suggestion that team members condone outright claims that antibiotics or painkillers are safe, we're here to make sure everyone speaks to their own experience, not make outright claims.  I would hope any member making a life or death decision, which could be the case if an antibiotic is needed, would base their decision on their own judgement in consultation with their medical professional.

 

As for members trying to convince other members to take anything, I see them sharing their experience, what worked and what didn't.  If you or anyone see's a post where a member is being prescriptive, please report it, the team needs the help of members to keep things running smoothly, we can't be everywhere.

 

Just to set the record straight, I didn't receive any medications during the radiation therapy.  The procedures are completely non-invasive. 

 

This is a very new technology I am receiving.  A MRI machine is used to locate the target and radiation is applied through external beam.  Not much different than getting an X-ray, although higher dose of radiation.  Typical side effects are fatigue as the body heals and possible urinary burning similar to a urinary infection.  I haven't really had either of these symptoms yet.

 

However, I have to drive an hour each way and get into the MRI machine daily for 40 treatments.  I think that wear and tear and stress on my system caused the wave more than anything.  It may be possible the radiation caused it, but it is very targeted to just my prostate.

 

The doctor has given me a prescription for Flomax in case I have urinary problems from inflammation caused by the therapy, but I have not had the need to take it.

 

 

Oh my BBG, you are a true warrior. If i had to drive an hour there and back every day for any of my tests etc i would be in a permanent monster wave, i can't even manage to be a passenger for more than half an hour irrespective of the reason. Hang in there, you are doing great.

Just to set the record straight, I didn't receive any medications during the radiation therapy.  The procedures are completely non-invasive. 

 

This is a very new technology I am receiving.  A MRI machine is used to locate the target and radiation is applied through external beam.  Not much different than getting an X-ray, although higher dose of radiation.  Typical side effects are fatigue as the body heals and possible urinary burning similar to a urinary infection.  I haven't really had either of these symptoms yet.

 

However, I have to drive an hour each way and get into the MRI machine daily for 40 treatments.  I think that wear and tear and stress on my system caused the wave more than anything.  It may be possible the radiation caused it, but it is very targeted to just my prostate.

 

The doctor has given me a prescription for Flomax in case I have urinary problems from inflammation caused by the therapy, but I have not had the need to take it.

 

Hi BenzoBGone,

 

Thanks for enlightening us on the process you're undergoing, I'm glad it's not as invasive as we thought, but I can certainly see why you're feeling as you are.  Driving is tough during this, do you find your insides humming for hours after the drive, it's so weird how something we've done our entire lives becomes stressful and exhausting.

 

Pamster

I'm sorry for your suffering. If I ever get cancer I would never go for radiation treatment. I would use turmeric with black pepper and some other types of natural treatment. And that could also cause me setbacks.

I'm also surprised that you're possibly not aware that radiation could cause you a setback if your brain didn't heal completely?

It could be also stress to worsen symptoms, but radiation is probably much more probable cause plus everything else they injected in your body.

I'm also surprised that nobody told you that already in this topic.

Dear BenzoBGone, I wish you all the luck. We all need it during this horrible suffering.

 

alokin,

 

You've made some blanket (not to mention insensitive) statements which require you to back them up with actual studies as to their veracity, please provide links so others may know what you know, otherwise, it would be best if you avoid heaping more fear onto someone who is suffering.

 

Pamster

 

You should also back up claims then benzodiazepines could damage brain because 99% of doctors wouldn't agree with you.

Most of pharmaceutical drugs affects CNS. I had terrible setback becuase of 1 pill of paracetamol 2 years ago that almost made me to commit suicide and I still didn't recover.

Of course that radiation and everything they injected into him caused him setback.

As a moderator you should also know that. There are many many things that could cause setbacks:

http://w-bad.org/reactions-setbacks/

 

This board wouldn't exist at all if "actual studies" mean anything at all.

Your 'science based medicine' killed almost half million people in US in last 10 years with opioids and you still believe them. LOL

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/danvergano/opioid-overdose-decade-war-on-drugs

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-49718388

 

Again alokin, a blanket statement.  I looked at the link but in order to confirm your statement, I'd need to know the drug or drugs used in radiation therapy, do you know?  Also, I didn't see anything about radiation therapy mentioned, please provide a source. 

 

I'm not here to debate the opioid epidemic and as for being a moderator, this title doesn't make me an expert.  My job is to follow up on posts such as yours, and ask that you provide the source for your statements made as fact.  If you had prefaced your post from the standpoint of "this is what happened to me" or "in my experience" this would have been acceptable, but you didn't do this, so...please provide the material to back up your statements.

 

Pamster

 

I also probably have right to my own opinion?

So, even if radiation is not the cause of setback, other things injected into body during the procedure most probably are the cause and that is my opinion. That opinion is also based on the fact that all pharmaceutical drugs are strong chemical soups that most of the time cross the blood-brain barrier - from painkillers and anesthesia to antibiotics and all of those affects CNS, almost without exception.

Someone who is heavily damaged with benzos like me could suffer from a major setbacks even from smaller doses of substances that affect brain, especially GABA receptors.

 

I see that moderators/admins let people here all the time to claim that Magnesium is perfectly safe and that also antibiotics or painkillers and some other drugs are mostly safe and with such statements they could literally kill someone who is not educated enough. That was also the reason why I had second setback because of magnesium 1.5 year ago - because I read a lot of nonsense here claiming that Magnesium somehow helps and that it's perfectly safe.

To some people it's safe. To many other who are heavily damaged with benzos it isn't.

 

So, it's sad that this forum could be sometimes much more harmful then helpful simply because moderators are more focused on banal things than on things that could literally harm someone (for example some members are trying to convince other members to take something that could be very dangerous to take).

I'm pretty much sure that majority of members here have good intentions, but most of them are not educated enough to understand that once the brain is damaged with benzo that Magnesium or some other supplement/drug won't affect damaged brain the same way as it would affect healthy brain.

 

You’re a jerk. Leave the poor guy alone; he has enough troubles. And Pamster is right, she doing her job.

You’re a jerk. Leave the poor guy alone; he has enough troubles. And Pamster is right, she doing her job.

 

I also have enough troubles and I don't call other injured people "jerks" Fighting for my life almost 3 years. I hope you'll get banned for this... but unfortunately you won't.

Because of patronizing after almost every post and also because of such insulting and name calling from other members, this is really more harmful than helpful place.

Now I remember why I wasn't here for whole year. It was a smart choice and it's also my choice now to leave this place.

Bye.

You’re a jerk. Leave the poor guy alone; he has enough troubles. And Pamster is right, she doing her job.

 

benzogirl,

 

Please familiarize yourself with the rules, name calling will not be tolerated.

 

Be polite towards, and respectful of, your fellow Buddies. We do not tolerate attacks upon fellow members. Any account created for the purposes of causing arguments and/or ill-feeling will be banned.

 

Pamster