Do we really heal?

I'm off benzos for 7th time, my 7th withdrawal in one year and a half, my brain is fried!  :'( anyone here that went soo much time off? and healed or doing better, benzos completely stopped working for me, my brain is off, numb, empty space in my head, perception is off, I lost all hope, all I can do is lay all day in bed because I'm feeling like I'm dreaming, there is no bridge between reality and me anymore, all colors are pale, Alice in Wonderland syndrom. If even my brain would start working. 😤

My thoughts - get a plan for a rational taper and stick to it. I'll probably get a lot of negative responses for saying this but it doesn't look like you've taper at all, just jump on and off of benzos.  Seems like a recipe for disaster.

If you're serious, use the resources available in this forum to plan a taper and do it.

My thoughts - get a plan for a rational taper and stick to it. I'll probably get a lot of negative responses for saying this but it doesn't look like you've taper at all, just jump on and off of benzos.  Seems like a recipe for disaster.

If you're serious, use the resources available in this forum to plan a taper and do it.

I tapered over 3 months. Benzos stopped working for me completely, can't reinstate doesn't work, paradoxical reaction to them! And doctors don't wamt to prescribe benzos to me anymore they got me 3 months to get off, forced me to CT 6x. Just can't go back, need to ride it out.

My thoughts - get a plan for a rational taper and stick to it. I'll probably get a lot of negative responses for saying this but it doesn't look like you've taper at all, just jump on and off of benzos.  Seems like a recipe for disaster.

If you're serious, use the resources available in this forum to plan a taper and do it.

 

And I can't stabilise anymore, so that isn't an option for me, I did I fast taper from Valium and couldn't stabilise. I was in a complete tolerance. Even when I reinstated my symptoms didn't get better.

If you decide to ride it out, you will heal. It takes time. Just be easy on yourself and give your brain time to repair itself.

Question: if they forced you to CT, how did you go back on them 6 more times?

I was in tolerance withdrawal and reinstating is not an option. It won't make anything better.

19 mg is not a low dose of valium.

Question: if they forced you to CT, how did you go back on them 6 more times?

I was in tolerance withdrawal and reinstating is not an option. It won't make anything better.

19 mg is not a low dose of valium.

 

They forced me to CT and then when I was really bad they put me back on and did it again and again, they were playing with my brain and I colapsed. I reinstated on Valium because I went to the hospital in a really crazy withdrawal and they pushed Valium back on me, I said I don't want it and they said I will never go out if I don't take it, and that they will taper me slow and the reinstating will work but it didn't worked and taper was even harder than CT before.

Oh, the hospital. I found that was the worst place I could possibly be. Does anyone have a good experience there because they definitely don't understand benzo withdrawal.

See that you're on an antidepressant also. I found I needed to get off of all psych drugs (as hard or harder than benzos) so my benzo taper has been purely a benzo thing.

It's hard to unravel the whole mess. I hope you have someone who will help you through the maze back to drug free. I have not found doctors helpful. Maybe you'll have better luck.

Hey there, so sorry for your massive on and off benzos. That's horrible!

Just wanted to mention as a side note from experience...zyprexa can make your brain feel really numb. Like totally dull.

So you have benzo withdrawal going on plus you may have the dull brain feeling as a side effect of zyprexa too. Not fair, I know

But I think you can heal from both

I would try to put all past taper experience to the side and start from what is now your first taper.  The one YOU have control over. 

 

I would do it slowly and methodically.  Ride it out as you say.  Many of us here have been on that bronco. .  Get bucked along the way, but we remount. 

 

I know what you mean about Alice in Wonderland syndrome.  It gets better.  Your brain WILL starting working again. 

 

Dee