I got lucky.

Hi Buddies,

 

I've been off the forum for while. I left at the end of my taper because honestly I was spending too much time on here and also the "horror stories" as they are often called were freaking me out. That said, I did get so much support from benzo buddies - from how to do a DLMT (thanks Builder) to making numerous friends, many of whom I still speak to. You guys know who you are. Thank you.

 

Fast recap: I took Valium, only to sleep, for 13 months. 10mgs every single night. Finally I decided it was making life worse (drugged sleep left me tired and moody). I decided to taper. Cut 1mg every 10 days from 10mg-3mg...too fast. Things started to get rocky. I came on here, learned how to do a DLMT (used liquid Valium by Roche with water) and slowed down, cutting .01mg a day, sometimes more (.02. .03). I didn't follow a set schedule or percentage but rather listened to how I felt and what I could handle. Things improved. I got down to .5mg and jumped.

 

I was lucky - things only improved for me after jumping (last June). I didn't suffer an "acute" period at all. After 2 weeks I started drinking coffee again with zero issues (I had given up coffee, sugar and everything else "fun" during the taper - I never drink alcohol ever so that wasn't an issue). I also had sugar again. I ate whatever I wanted. I started eating desserts etc slowly and then when I saw it had zero effect, I ate whatever I felt like (I did binge on a lot of ice cream in one week - making up for 9 months of no sugar in 7 days!)

 

My symptoms during the taper (about 9 months of tapering) were always the same: broken sleep where I would (in the worst of it) jolt awake at 4am with that awful chemical anxiety buzzy feeling (I now sleep completely normally), some brain fog (that went away as I got lower in dose), tinnitus (that also went away as I got lower). I never had anxiety before tapering and when I did have it while tapering, it felt unnatural and frankly horrible as I wasn't anxious about anything in life.

 

My advice? Simple stuff: exercise (I did as much as I could - increasing how much I ran daily), eat healthy (it was probably good to kick sugar anyway) and listen to yourself and not others. I was told to do long holds, taper slower etc - I finally just listened to my own body/mind and I did it my way. I worked while tapering, I went out and saw people as much as possible (despite bouts of agoraphobia which I also had never had in my life) and distracted with whatever I could. I ignored the symptoms as much as possible - mind over matter. The more I went out in the real world, the better I felt.

 

Yes, I had dark, awful moments. But I made it through and YOU WILL TOO.

 

Today I never think about the taper or symptoms. I still support friends in the thick of it but otherwise I don't speak or read about benzos. The good news: I don't even remember the details or the feeling of when it was really bad. My life is completely normal now - I have zero symptoms and was probably fully healed 4-6 weeks after jumping. Do not fear jumping - do not fear "acute" and know that your journey through this is your own and just because someone posts that they are "not healed" after 2 years does not mean that will be you. Most likely you will not have an acute period and be free of this thing before you know it.

 

I want to thank everyone who supported me. I don't want to dwell on what I went through but do want to stress that I am 100% well. I will obviously never touch a benzo or anything like that ever again - and that is a good thing.

 

I wish everyone here strength and please know that you will be OK - you will be great - you will be better than you ever have been.

 

 

Congrats, Soberhope.

You didn't get lucky...your brain healed on your time.  It sounds like you had alot of sx.  I m glad to know my journey is my journey!  Thank you for posting such a positive Success story.  You are a Warrior!  Best of luck to you.

 

 

I am so pleased for you Pete.  You are the success story we would all love to happen.

 

I am so glad that our paths crossed on this journey and thankful that you still take time to care for others.

 

I am sure your future is bright, You followed your own instincts, and it was the right path for you as I knew all along it would be.

 

No one could be happier for you  and your success story gives hope to all those who imagine everyone suffers for years, when they don't. 

 

Enjoy your life now . I hope that one day I too will be able to follow in your footsteps and write my own success story, 

 

Ever your pal

 

Jen

. 

SOBER!! 

 

    I am thrilled you are back!!  I am in tears of JOY that you are free from this terrible medication!  Your story gives us all HOPE.  I will explain everything else on PM if that's okay.

 

    So happy you are better.  SO Encouraging to us all! 

 

    HUGS!!

 

    KIMMIE

Wow what a beautiful and encouraging story! There is hope can I ask if you had any symptoms at all post jump as you said it took 4-6 weeks to heal. Enjoy life!

Miracle1111 :

 

I felt 100% normal about a month after I jumped. The first month there was a little residual anxiety and crappy sleep but it literally got better day to day, week to week. I started a demanding new job which helped - I had to be in the real world non-stop. Looking back, the times I holed up alone during the taper were the worst - I wish I had pushed myself to be out more because I always felt the best or better when i didn't stay shut in, freaking out about benzos and reading about benzos.

 

You will be great. It also helped to disengage from the forum for me at the end - the less I thought or read about benzos, the better I was.

 

Stick with the taper - you will be great when it's done.

Soberhope

Thanks so much for your update- this makes me very hopeful- I jumped 3 weeks ago and same here with anxiety and sleep, but I trust it will improve and have decided to only read positive stories on this forum. I appreciate your positive support and agree with you 100%!!!

All the very best

I'm glad you healed dude. It puts things into perspective for me. You didn't take much and seemed to come off correctly. In cases like this, I expect the best outcome because you still have your youth, you took it for sleep, and you seem like an overall good guy from what I remember, briefly skimming some of your posts.

 

People with addiction disorders with psychiatric conditions don't have the same experience unless they are "lucky". You would be unlucky if you didn't have the outcome you had. Just being honest with my opinion. What impresses me is when people are on benzos for years, at larger dosages and heal 1000% with sensible tapering, throw in some other rx drugs too into the mix.  That's what tickles me. Or people who CT and heal all the way, that's the stuff of miracles or what constitutes luck.

SoberHope You are lucky to have recovered so quickly. Which makes me wonder if the long-term symptoms are because benzodiazepines are stored in brain fat！

Sober, It is good to see that you too....have slain the Benzo Dragon!   

Here’s to ‘getting lucky’!

 

Thanks for sharing your story. I never had an acute period either. Three months+ out and counting.