Need Guidance

Hello!

I need guidance with my current taper. This is the first time I ever had to go through something like this. I am also in my 20s and pretty scared. I has prescribed ativan for 2 months and a half (1 mg) for anxiety. Nobody told me it could cause withdrawal. When I “slowly” started tapering, I went into this horrible place. Ended up in the ER 3 times. Almost was “warned” needed to go to the psych ward. Etc. I have never had any medical conditions except for anxiety.

I am afraid regarding my taper. I am reducing around 5% for 4-7 days (check for symptoms) and then another 5% and thats how I go. I have been able to reduce 0.05 since the beginning of my taper which was around a month ago. I had to stay in 0.4 mg for a while to stabilize my symptoms. I am afraid I al going too slow and I will cause my body more dependency on the drug. Some symptoms have dimished since cutting slowly (paranoia, strong DP/DR (still have it but less)) overall I just feel more human. But I still experience depression (which I never had), anxiety and other things. Everytime I cut, I feel depressed. Is this normal? Sometimes I also have the feeling that maybe its too slow, and when I cut, my body “rejects” the medication and I feel like throwing up and hopeless. Does anyone have any advice for me? I do not want an extreme long taper since I have only used this medication for that time. But 4 months are coming up counting time for taper and I do not want to make things worst. At the same time I need to be able to handle symptoms. My body is very sensitive. Thank you so mich for any help