c/t of valium 20mg daily

A long time in Benzo World. I look back now and see through the eyes of others,how much I changed. Remembering only little moments I feel or wish it was somebody else.Sorry but I am not proud to own myself during that time.At first I thought I was doing well,much calmer and cruising through life,seemingly handling so much.I believe as valium stores in fat it also stores with it ones emotions,until the storage area is full,than it all releases and drowns you.I first found BB in Jan 10 at this time I really believed I was dying inside,each passing moment brought a new pain,I believed something was slowly attacking each organ within me.I stayed the course to afraid not to.After 4 months enduring this torment,I went to Sydney,I needed to understand the evils of this drug so I could beat it.I met with a well known addiction specialist who spent alot of time just listening to me nodding his head.Each visit was the same.I soon reach my limits with him,about the 3rd or 4th visit I remember saying to him,did you get your licence from the same place as the doctor who prescribed benzo to me.He so carefully said this is your journey and its a very sad one.I cried something I never thought I would do,and yes he was right.There was not a thing he could do,except listen.He had on my first visit given me a folder everything was there in black and white,most of it was accurate.Time exercise healthy eating and lots of fear would be my healer.Another four months has past and with every day came a surprise some welcome and alot not.I am feeling alot better now and I believe my healing came about slowly,firstly I had to accept it,stop fighting it,stay solely within the present,stop wishing for better tomorrows,mostly believe it will someday be the past.I still keep contact with him,we still debate some issues,the main One why me,when others get away so much easier.He repeats this is your journey and its vary sad.The mental disability was so intense,I look at even my thoughts writing this and I still feel there more to this,I try to accept I will never know nor will I volunteer to do it over again.hankyou as this says this was my journey and I only wish to share it with you as so many have shared theirs with me.        SMLIES Cath

Hello Cath,

 

Thank you for writing your story, you described your pain so eloquently.  I wish you continued healing.

 

Pam

Thank you Cathy!

 

TK

 

 

Hello Cath,

 

Thank you for your story.

 

Here's to continued healing,

Summer

Thank you for giving others hope of healing and recovery. 

Thanks Cath! May you experience ever increasing healing in the days ahead