Having conversations slays me. Anyone else?

This is something that is really really hard for me.  I was prescribed Klonazepam for head injury symptoms, complicated by Lyme disease years ago - dizziness and vertigo being the worst.  I am now well into my taper and into healing, having crossed over to Valium for tapering.  One of my worst continuing symptoms is that talking for longer than a few minutes can just crash my brain.  Its like I can feel the pressure and pain mounting and I feel incredibly stressed after normal conversation.  Like I have to go and find a quiet dark place to curl up in.  Is this so for anyone else?  I am having a hard time knowing if it is withdrawal related, or head injury stuff.  The sad part is, I need to connect with my friends and family so much, for my mental health.  It is key for me to feel connected to others to heal.  I know friends feel shunned by me and, I'm sure, disrespected because I can't keep up and they don't understand.   Some days (I live in a small town) when I go shopping I keep my eyes down and just get in and get out, before anyone recognizes me.  Its is not anxiety, although if I talk too long I get wound really tight - it is like I can feel my batteries draining out.  I spend so much time alone and in the bush.  I miss being in community so much.  I have had a few amazing windows lately but I still can't imagine having to work a job that requires conversation.... anyone else?

OMGrief - hugs to you!  This sounds like a nightmare. 

 

But you know what?  I'm so freaking proud of you, internet stranger, for getting out and doing it. 

 

I am so glad you recognize that you need support from family and friends to get through this.  There is a lot to parse here and I want to help, so I'm going to ask questions and give some suggestions if you are up to it.

 

1.  Not knowing if this is the head injury or the withdrawal:  do you recall what it was like before you started the taper?  Have you asked family / friends if they have noticed a difference?

 

2.  Peopling is HARD.  Sounds like anxiety to me (I have trouble peopling some days too and what you described is how I bring myself down from too much stimulus).  Do you have a friend that can go with you on these trips? 

 

3.  Be upfront.  Tell them that you have X and if they notice Y then it's because you are struggling.  Compassionate people will understand.  It's hard.  I've done it myself on bad days by prefacing with "hey, just so you know, I'm having a hard brain day and if I'm slow to respond, it's not you".  I had to tell my manager that I'm going through a med change (he doesn't need to know the details) so I can protect myself at work.  He doesn't need to know the details. I work from home, so that is a LIFE SAVER.  I've noted I'm also better in the morning, so I do my meetings then where I have to talk.

 

Sometimes the words just won't come.  I've had to practice radical acceptance.

 

4.  Are you journaling?  Every day I track the good and the symptoms (and I grade them, lol).  Some days, showering is an accomplishment, so winning! It really helps with symptom stuff.  I even note the weather to see if it's related.

 

5.  Do you have a buddy pet?  Honestly, if it wasn't for mine, I'd lose it (I work from home).  My dog is great for taking on walks, getting out, etc.  Unfortunately, my horse passed away, otherwise, we'd be out and about.

 

Do you have a therapist?

Wow. I never mentioned this symptom. I have had talking intolerance since my taper. It is getting better. If my job involved talking a lot I’d be screwed. We do a brief morning meeting at work everyday. I just have to read a bunch of stuff. When I first went back to work I would start getting heart palpitations and weakness after about a minute of talking. I would push through. By the end of the 15 minutes I would get numbness is my extremities and a very slow heart rate. I would have head pressure and a seasick feeling. At 10 months off I can do those meetings with no issue most days. But on days where I talk too much I get very sick. It is one of my lingering symptoms. Does this sound like what you are experiencing? I think the talking irritates the vagus nerve and causing everything to start going haywire.

Wow. I never mentioned this symptom. I have had talking intolerance since my taper. It is getting better. If my job involved talking a lot I’d be screwed. We do a brief morning meeting at work everyday. I just have to read a bunch of stuff. When I first went back to work I would start getting heart palpitations and weakness after about a minute of talking. I would push through. By the end of the 15 minutes I would get numbness is my extremities and a very slow heart rate. I would have head pressure and a seasick feeling. At 10 months off I can do those meetings with no issue most days. But on days where I talk too much I get very sick. It is one of my lingering symptoms. Does this sound like what you are experiencing? I think the talking irritates the vagus nerve and causing everything to start going haywire.

 

Right?  I also attribute it to an energy / brain expenditure / brain fatigue.  We are using a lot of neural power and processing.

I am in bad shape today because I talked a lot yesterday. I almost felt like I had the flu from it. And I was extremely fatigued. Felt like I was going to die. I couldn’t fall asleep and was shivering from it as well. I had to call out of work today. However, I am feeling significantly better at this point in the day. I am doing sort of a vocal rest to recover. It gets better though. At 10 months off episodes like I had last night are becoming rare. It’s because I am actually feeling so good lately that sometimes I forget that I am not fully healed and I way over do it with everything. I put in a day of physical labor yesterday that most people not in benzo recovery couldn’t even have kept up. Then had a 4 hour phone conversation at night and that did me in. But hey 4 hr phone conversation vs can’t get through a 15 minute meeting is a HUGE improvement.

Hi JaniceH,

 

I just wanted to pop in and tell you I have this, too. It was extreme for a long time and I could only really get one or two sentences out and I would just let them so the talking. It’s good advice to let others know in some manner you are struggling with a med change etc and are having a bad brain day, etc. except for me it’s been a bad brain couple of years. When I have to talk I usually take a break afterwards in the comfort of my car, bed or couch. Getting much better these days, but not at all where I’d like to be.

 

I also love that I live in spread out city with not a lot of friends nearby so I have a lot of anonymity in my day to day. It helps to not have that additional pressure right now. But since I have little energy for the phone people think I shunned them. Because of my health situation, I have. Can’t help it.

 

Talking takes a lot of mental energy, motor processing, interpersonal skills and memory. It’s all a real stressor and our brains are injured. Time will heal our injured brains and we will slowly regain these skills again.

Hi Everyone -

 

Add another to the list... It's all I can do to talk. At all. Mostly from shame, I think, and not being good at chit chat... It's so lonely

 

The biggie for me is what Betty said:

 

 

3.  Be upfront.  Tell them that you have X and if they notice Y then it's because you are struggling.  Compassionate people will understand.  It's hard.  I've done it myself on bad days by prefacing with "hey, just so you know, I'm having a hard brain day and if I'm slow to respond, it's not you".

 

What do I SAY for I have 'X'? Most folks that know me - they already know Recovered Alky/Addict, Autism, PTSD all the rest.

 

It helps not I worked in a Safety Related trade. And I REALLY SUCK AT LYING. And everyone knows I'm seriously bad off. And are concerned. Yes, the few I trust deeply do know "the facts, jack".

 

But for others (who really CANT understand) what to say for 'X' ?? Simply "They've had to change my meds, I'm not myself?"

 

Any ideas?

 

 

Hi Everyone -

 

Add another to the list... It's all I can do to talk. At all. Mostly from shame, I think, and not being good at chit chat... It's so lonely

 

The biggie for me is what Betty said:

 

 

3.  Be upfront.  Tell them that you have X and if they notice Y then it's because you are struggling.  Compassionate people will understand.  It's hard.  I've done it myself on bad days by prefacing with "hey, just so you know, I'm having a hard brain day and if I'm slow to respond, it's not you".

 

What do I SAY for I have 'X'? Most folks that know me - they already know Recovered Alky/Addict, Autism, PTSD all the rest.

 

It helps not I worked in a Safety Related trade. And I REALLY SUCK AT LYING. And everyone knows I'm seriously bad off. And are concerned. Yes, the few I trust deeply do know "the facts, jack".

 

But for others (who really CANT understand) what to say for 'X' ?? Simply "They've had to change my meds, I'm not myself?"

 

Any ideas?

 

Hey there,

 

Please let me clarify. 

 

No one not in your inner circle needs to know the details.  What we deal with is invisible to others. If you have a broken leg, people can see immediately what you are struggling with, right?

 

So, bc it's invisible, you can let general public people know that you are having a struggle, without going into details.  Let me give you some examples of scripts that I use with the general public and not my inner circle  - and I hope that it helps make more sense.  Yes, I try to come up with "scripts" to use that I can pull out w/out even thinking (thank you Captain Awkward!)

 

"I'm sorry I didn't follow that....can you please repeat that?  I'm having a moment" (super generic, yet most people get it).

 

"Hi, I'm calling about my phone bill.  Just to let you know that I'm having a hard time processing today, so please be patient".

 

And for those who I run into that want to talk to me, like I'm in line at the store, but I don't know.

 

"Hi, I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well and I'm not up for conversation today". 

 

"Hi, don't mind me if I don't do a lot of talking, I'm having a struggle day, but I really enjoy listening".  (then just make the right interested faces, noises, etc).

 

"Hi, sorry if I seem off today, I am adjusting to a med change.  Ugh!". 

 

"Hey, it was super awesome seeing you and I'd love to chat more, but I'm not feeling great, see you again soon!"

 

 

And small talk can be exhausting.  If I'm feeling "OMG, NO, but I really want to people bc I am feeling lonely", then I try to ask questions about them or compliment them on something (people love to talk about themselves). 

 

And sometimes I'll just go sit in a coffee shop and hang out b/c I want to be around people, but not do super heavy interaction.

 

And chatting with people on the internet!  Does that help to feel less alone?  I know I've had great discussions with people when I'm not feeling up to going out.  And made some new friends.

 

I hope all this helps. 

One last one that just came to me.  Do you have a hobby or something you'd like to get into?  There are a lot of open "google hangouts" that you can join if you aren't up for leaving the house.

 

This just came to me b/c my partner will join one for his modeling and he'll be working on his project with others and sometimes he's a chatterbox and other times, he is quiet but just wanted to "hang out" and feel part of a group.

 

Just an idea!

OMG all of you - thanks so much.  It helps me to hear all that you've said.  Betty I do have a pup thank god, or I'd be sunk by now.  He is my little clown and gives me lots of love without needing to talk! 

I can see the hurt and rejection in some of my friends eyes when I tell them I'm sick.  I don't mess around.... I just tell them I'm in withdrawal and I can't talk.  I think its hard for them to imagine.  I fake it lots because I get so lonely that I am willing to suffer and pretend I'm 'all there'.  Its quite a heavy price.  My world now is small.  The phone isn't exactly ringing off the wall. 

 

The idea that I am processing stuff and that it is short circuiting my brain, makes sense.  Talking in person is harder than on the phone... but both can take me out.

Sometimes I will go well beyond my capabilities because I just have to.  People stop by, or the day just throws so much at me that I have to deal. 

Jack - omg yes!  I have had days where the fates have combined to give me way too much. 

I can do physical work for quite a while - maybe all day - If I am alone..... dealing with symptoms - but still, I get thru most days provided I stop before I am exhausted.... before I am in an emergency. 

 

But one conversation can finish me off for the day, and I've had days where too much talking feels like the flu!  Perfect description.  Recently I too did too much visiting and I had to just rest the next day.

 

I guess it remains to be seen what I can recover.  When the drug is out of my body and I've had time to restore my GABA system. God.  Its looking like it could be a few years.  But it helps so much to know I am not alone!  Thanks for the love.  And I want to congratulate all of you for staying your courses,  for all that you have endured so you can be here.  With me.

 

 

Yeah I believe it will be a few years for me as well. But, remember the suffering tapers down. I having days at 10 months I could not have imagined when I was in acute. Last weekend, I rode my motorcycle out to Manhattan, attended a wedding with my wife. Danced at the reception ALL night, ate everything in sight and then rode the bike back home at 1 am. Woke up the next day feeling totally fine. So there are good days. Sometimes the waves just knock you out.

 

Yes, I try to come up with "scripts" to use that I can pull out w/out even thinking (thank you Captain Awkward!)

 

--<snip> ---

 

"Hi, don't mind me if I don't do a lot of talking, I'm having a struggle day, but I really enjoy listening".  (then just make the right interested faces, noises, etc).

 

And - <snip> --

 

try to ask questions about them or compliment them on something (people love to talk about themselves). 

 

 

Thanks so much - I use things like this a lot, since I found I had ASD... Makes one apt to be "Admiral A**hat". Scripts help tons dealing with "general" things, especially with the listening tip.

 

My 'special stupid' is, till an injury last year made my left hand useless (and then Demon Benzo stepped in), I worked as a mechanic. On Aircraft.

 

For idk why, my terse old boss and a few others still ask me to come help. Though now I'm no more than "hang around, go-fer". At times a go-fer is needed, they just wanna set eyes on me, I think. Pilots & Officers have their circle, there's little "small talk" with grunt ground crew, it's considered a token of respect -

 

but WHEN spoken to, one best have a True and Short response.

 

I think "Health issues sir. It's complex, they're working on it" ??

 

THANKS

LC

You know, I think it means a *lot* that they are asking you to come hang out and do what you can, even if you can't mechanic anymore.  Much respect.  And I would think that you'd get some company out of it to? 

 

And I know that I need to feel to productive and wanted around.  My "productive / accomplishments" has definitely been redefined depending on the day.  Some days it's activities of daily living and doing dishes.  Winning!  LOL. 

 

That's why I keep a daily journal of symptoms and severity on one side and what I did on the other.  Because it's really important to see that there *are* good things and I am doing stuff. 

 

Yup, I think you nailed it:  "Health issues, too long to go into, but we're working on it.  Hey, is your kid still playing soccer?".  Change of subject. 

 

Of course, there are going to be people who want to know more bc they care, but you just decide which circle they get to come into and how much they get to know. 

 

It sounds to me like you are feeling better about it? 

Hi Everyone -

 

Add another to the list... It's all I can do to talk. At all. Mostly from shame, I think, and not being good at chit chat... It's so lonely

 

The biggie for me is what Betty said:

 

 

3.  Be upfront.  Tell them that you have X and if they notice Y then it's because you are struggling.  Compassionate people will understand.  It's hard.  I've done it myself on bad days by prefacing with "hey, just so you know, I'm having a hard brain day and if I'm slow to respond, it's not you".

 

What do I SAY for I have 'X'? Most folks that know me - they already know Recovered Alky/Addict, Autism, PTSD all the rest.

 

It helps not I worked in a Safety Related trade. And I REALLY SUCK AT LYING. And everyone knows I'm seriously bad off. And are concerned. Yes, the few I trust deeply do know "the facts, jack".

 

But for others (who really CANT understand) what to say for 'X' ?? Simply "They've had to change my meds, I'm not myself?"

 

Any ideas?

 

I often times tell people at now thirteen months post Klonopin that I'm slowly healing from a "Chemical Brain Injury".

You know, I think it means a *lot* that they are asking you to come hang out and do what you can, even if you can't mechanic anymore.  Much respect.  And I would think that you'd get some company out of it to? 

 

Your right Betty, I need to at least try. More for 'the guys' than myself

 

They called me back in last spring, and I muddled okay (this was before I knew why I was "not right") It was the 1st "big clue" something's wrong.  Work had been my true "happy place" - It was a struggle to 'seem okay', even at work I felt all black inside.

 

It'll feel less worse, ANY activity at all is good. Going from uber-fit to "over-cooked spaghetti" hasn't helped.

 

My "productive / accomplishments" has definitely been redefined depending on the day.  Some days it's activities of daily living and doing dishes.  Winning!  LOL. 

 

I can So relate    So much of who we are is how we spend our day - all my "happys" involved tools, sweat, or handlebars (used to ride). Took a minute to accept I'll never work again, BUT - I've finally found goals that matter!

 

Learn to cook again. Make our home comfy & welcoming - for the grown son who works hard, who's friends used to come for "Mom made dinner".

 

That's why I keep a daily journal of symptoms and severity on one side and what I did on the other.  Because it's really important to see that there *are* good things and I am doing stuff. 

Wow, I've done that before. Thanks for the 'remind'. Drew a line down the middle of the page.

 

Right now I'm sorting out what are really w/d symptoms from plain "self pity" (I wanna go split wood, WHahAaa), but writing them on paper will keep 'em from spinning in my head

 

Of course, there are going to be people who want to know more bc they care, but you just decide which circle they get to come into and how much they get to know. 

 

It sounds to me like you are feeling better about it? 

 

I'm getting there - your input helps tons. Thanks for reminding me of boundaries too!

 

And for stepping up in general. Still learning my way around BB, etc. - Getting to know folks? "Little" things, like washing the dishes - helps for a sense of 'connect' with basic GOODness & humanity.

 

Thanks for "The Dishes" 

LC

 

 

 

Your right Betty, I need to at least try. More for 'the guys' than myself

 

They called me back in last spring, and I muddled okay (this was before I knew why I was "not right") It was the 1st "big clue" something's wrong.  Work had been my true "happy place" - It was a struggle to 'seem okay', even at work I felt all black inside.

 

It'll feel less worse, ANY activity at all is good. Going from uber-fit to "over-cooked spaghetti" hasn't helped.

 

Going to disagree here and say that you've got to do this for you.  And I highly encourage you to keep going to the shop and getting your wrenching on (so cool, go you! women with tools!) and it sounds like they are so supportive, you've got a nice outing place to get a lot of needs met:  social, working, etc.

 

I can So relate    So much of who we are is how we spend our day - all my "happys" involved tools, sweat, or handlebars (used to ride). Took a minute to accept I'll never work again, BUT - I've finally found goals that matter!

 

Learn to cook again. Make our home comfy & welcoming - for the grown son who works hard, who's friends used to come for "Mom made dinner".

 

Absolutely!  We have needs as humans to feel productive, accepted, etc.  I think you are doing great at redefining the happys and making acceptances where you can.  Maybe you can't work full-time *right now*, but that could change.  And even if it doesn't, maybe the new work happy is part-time or job by job. 

 

Sounds like "dinner at mom's" is awesome. 

 

I completely understand about the "sweat" part.  Hello to new and interesting symptoms each taper (ARGH)!  I hurt so much on this cut and I get dizzy, so I've had to re-evaluate what I CAN do - and accept that it's not a personal fail for a not being able to do my Krav Maga or walk my dog.  (Keep telling myself this until I believe it).  I *can* throw the ball for my dog, so win?

 

Wow, I've done that before. Thanks for the 'remind'. Drew a line down the middle of the page.

 

Right now I'm sorting out what are really w/d symptoms from plain "self pity" (I wanna go split wood, WHahAaa), but writing them on paper will keep 'em from spinning in my head.

 

I write it all down.  Because I have to work through those feels of self pity too.  And the depression.  Bc I've tapered down on one of my anti-depressants - thanks doc for prescribing me 2 SSRI's - and how much is that, how much is Seasonal Affective Disorder, and how much is just the side effects of the  taper.  No way of knowing.  So, I write them down anyway.

 

I'm getting there - your input helps tons. Thanks for reminding me of boundaries too!

 

And for stepping up in general. Still learning my way around BB, etc. - Getting to know folks? "Little" things, like washing the dishes - helps for a sense of 'connect' with basic GOODness & humanity.

 

Thanks for "The Dishes" 

 

:smitten:

 

So glad I helped.    I'm feeling my way around here too.  And you helped me too - talking through it all really helps.  Putting you on "friends" list.  Bwa ha ha.

 

 

 

 

This is something that is really really hard for me.  I was prescribed Klonazepam for head injury symptoms, complicated by Lyme disease years ago - dizziness and vertigo being the worst.  I am now well into my taper and into healing, having crossed over to Valium for tapering.  One of my worst continuing symptoms is that talking for longer than a few minutes can just crash my brain.  Its like I can feel the pressure and pain mounting and I feel incredibly stressed after normal conversation.  Like I have to go and find a quiet dark place to curl up in.  Is this so for anyone else?  I am having a hard time knowing if it is withdrawal related, or head injury stuff.  The sad part is, I need to connect with my friends and family so much, for my mental health.  It is key for me to feel connected to others to heal.  I know friends feel shunned by me and, I'm sure, disrespected because I can't keep up and they don't understand.   Some days (I live in a small town) when I go shopping I keep my eyes down and just get in and get out, before anyone recognizes me.  Its is not anxiety, although if I talk too long I get wound really tight - it is like I can feel my batteries draining out.  I spend so much time alone and in the bush.  I miss being in community so much.  I have had a few amazing windows lately but I still can't imagine having to work a job that requires conversation.... anyone else?

 

Yup!

I am up in peoples faces every day but I can't hold long conversations. I mean, after I say "Hi, how are you?" I hear their quick responce, but if they start going into details I hear static. I can't focus...I honestly try. I might hear some things that bring my mind back to the conversation and then I clock out again almost immediately.

 

Most the people know I am going through horrible withdraw so that helps. But for others...I honestly practice passive listening. Almost psychopathic behavior...I laugh if they laugh, mimic their emotions because I can't focus. It's horrible. HORRIBLE!

  And I highly encourage you to keep going to the shop and getting your wrenching on (so cool, go you! women with tools!)

[/ quote]

 

Sadly 'wrenching' is past tense. Broke my wrist last summer, and blew the chace to get it fixed... Cause I was mortally terrified of the Pain Pills?  But I want to go down and at least "see and be seen", see how they are. I've got PT Mon's and Wed's, (mostly for CYA per SSDI) but maybe they'll just want me to come hange out...

 

Maybe you can't work full-time *right now*, but that could change.  And even if it doesn't, maybe the new work happy is part-time or job by job. 

 

I kept trying to figure out WHAT can ya get paid for, if ya can't DO anything? That puzzle (mechanic, or even yard work, it all takes 2 hands) became a "Mental-Masochism" trap, so I quit it. For about 6 months last year, even after the injury (good old adrenaline and enkaphalins...) I was making enough to finally consider ditching disability... And probably got abaft of "Big Brother".

 

Always makes me thing of Woody Allen, and "The Leaders Nose" rolled out on the pavement... SSDI / Medicare/caid's all I got for Healthcare, so I got to put GET WELL first...

 

Hello to new and interesting symptoms each taper (ARGH)!  I hurt so much on this cut and I get dizzy, so I've had to re-evaluate what I CAN do - and accept that it's not a personal fail for a not being able to do my Krav Maga or walk my dog.  (Keep telling myself this until I believe it).  I *can* throw the ball for my dog, so win?

 

I feel ya - though I'm less utterly slain now that I'm "spacing doses" I've more mind to be aware (and have feelings on) "what I CAN do". I never got to Krav Maga (envy!) - but I can still walk Sam a few hundred yards. And that's okay, Sam got displaysia, and he's a crip too now. It amazes me how DOGS can still be "Goof Balls" even when they hurt.

 

I write it all down.  Because I have to work through those feels of self pity too.  And the depression.  Bc I've tapered down on one of my anti-depressants - thanks doc for prescribing me 2 SSRI's - and how much is that, how much is Seasonal Affective Disorder, and how much is just the side effects of the  taper.  No way of knowing.  So, I write them down anyway.

 

TBH, not got to the writing YET. Yesterday we got the new Fridge in. And went to get some "stuffing" for it. Been without a fridge so long kinda hard to remember what goes in there   And then (drum-roll) I made a Quiche. First time I've cooked in a year

 

Right now I'm studying going out where other drunks gather ... (Recovering ones).  See and be seen. Might go in the morning, rather than "hose tomorrow" from over-doing today.

 

So how'd your day go? If I sound kind of spaced and worn, it's only from doing 2 things, not just one 

 

Putting you on "friends" list.  Bwa ha ha.

 

Doing SAME 

I get really tired when I have a day where I have to talk to people for a long time (over a minute or two). After I have to relax and lay in my recliner for the rest of the day. Three weeks ago I had to give the eulogy at my Sister in Law's funeral in front of about 200 people and I thought I was going to have a stroke or heart attack. I was so tired afterwards and it took me 7 or 8 days to recover. I had to isolate myself from everyone during that time in order to recover.

 

I tell my closest friends (2) that it takes a lot out of me when my brain has to process what they are saying and respond. But, since it has been 22 months they forget and keep right on talking a mile a minute. LOL

I get really tired when I have a day where I have to talk to people for a long time (over a minute or two). After I have to relax and lay in my recliner for the rest of the day. Three weeks ago I had to give the eulogy at my Sister in Law's funeral in front of about 200 people and I thought I was going to have a stroke or heart attack. I was so tired afterwards and it took me 7 or 8 days to recover. I had to isolate myself from everyone during that time in order to recover.

 

I tell my closest friends (2) that it takes a lot out of me when my brain has to process what they are saying and respond. But, since it has been 22 months they forget and keep right on talking a mile a minute. LOL

 

My sympathies for your loss.

 

Yeah, peopling is exhausting.  It takes so much energy, some days, it will burn my gas tank right up.  (I will also use the matchstick or spoon theory). 

 

You'd think after 22 months people would remember?  LOL.

 

Yeah, peopling is exhausting.  It takes so much energy, some days, it will burn my gas tank right up.  (I will also use the matchstick or spoon theory). 

 

 

The Spoon Theory works pretty good. On people-ing, my BIGGEST effort is keeping the "matchstick" away from the gas tank.

 

Love the 'Bam a Lam' line... On the old Fido-Net, Use-net newsgroups, IRC etc my "nick" was Slowride (take it easy). This being one of the few 'Pro-Privacy' hold outs, I had to change

 

LC

 

The Spoon Theory works pretty good. On people-ing, my BIGGEST effort is keeping the "matchstick" away from the gas tank.

 

Love the 'Bam a Lam' line... On the old Fido-Net, Use-net newsgroups, IRC etc my "nick" was Slowride (take it easy). This being one of the few 'Pro-Privacy' hold outs, I had to change

 

LC

 

Thank you re: Black Betty! 

 

OMG, the RAGE is no joke. I've never experienced anything like it and it's.....  I told my honey he needs to take a video bc you'd think I was having a psychotic break.  He said he's afraid for his life if he takes a video, lol.  I thought it would be good for educational purposes, since there is so little out there about it and no one believes it is THAT BAD (unless they have experienced it first hand).

 

I say that I'm channeling my inner she-hulk.  I need to get a figurine.

 

Thankfully, those rage episodes seem to have abated with this cut.  But, I also seem to find new and interesting symptoms to work through.  Ugh.