A good sign, perhaps?

I’ve been plagued with horrible insomnia throughout my withdrawal. At just over a year off, it had gotten much better. I was able to sleep 4-6 hours pretty much every night without taking any sleep aids. Then I had a bad setback due to drinking a bit and was sleeping 1-2 hours a night. Over the course of a couple of months, I improved to the point of sleeping 3 hours a night. I couldn’t get over 3 hours of sleep without using otc sleep aids or Trazodone, though.

 

But 3 weeks ago, I started to regularly get 3.5 or 4 hours of sleep without taking sleep aids. Just over a week ago, it got even better. I had a couple nights of 6+ hours of natural sleep and a few nights of 4-5 hours of natural sleep. I was falling asleep quickly most nights and even getting some deep, non-rem sleep, I think. Two nights ago I had a really bad night, though. After laying in bed for awhile unable to sleep, I caved in and took some Trazodone and doxylamine, and that didn’t even knock me out. After a couple more hours, I took some more Trazodone and then slept for 3 or 4 hours straight, then woke up for good. Usually, Trazodone will get me 6 or 7 hours of sleep, but that night it didn’t. Last night I managed 3.5 or 4 hours of very broken sleep, but took some melatonin and cbd/cbn oil. I was starting to feel hopeful about recovery, but am now worried that I’m going to start sleeping terribly again. Does it sound like I’m starting to heal some more? Is the better and then worse again sleep a good sign? I feel like it might have just been a fluke and I’m not actually any better, but rather worse. I know it sounds silly, but that’s the honest truth.

I know you've probably heard this before, but I'd lay off the sleep aids, even if they are OTC. Just let your body sleep naturally. The reason you have the insomnia now is because you used benzos. When you sedate the CNS with drugs it adapts by increasing baseline arousal levels, hence the current situation. It does a similar thing with other drugs: if you take antipsychotics which antagonize the dopamine receptors, they become upregulated and if you CT the drug you can end up with dopamine supersensitivity (a hyper-responsiveness to dopamine) and psychotic symptoms even in those who have never had an episode of psychosis. If you take pain meds too long (like opioids), you can end up with hyperalgesia - which is when things that used to be only mildly painful become very painful. Basically you have a hypersensitivity to pain until the nervous system gets back to normal. By sedating your system with drugs, you are telling it that there is no big hurry to return the system to normal, since it is having to adapt to excessive sedation from the trazodone, doxylamine etc.

 

The best thing you can do is just accept the nights when you're not sleeping. Just tell yourself you'll sleep better the next night. And you will. Eventually.

I know you've probably heard this before, but I'd lay off the sleep aids, even if they are OTC. Just let your body sleep naturally. The reason you have the insomnia now is because you used benzos. When you sedate the CNS with drugs it adapts by increasing baseline arousal levels, hence the current situation. It does a similar thing with other drugs: if you take antipsychotics which antagonize the dopamine receptors, they become upregulated and if you CT the drug you can end up with dopamine supersensitivity (a hyper-responsiveness to dopamine) and psychotic symptoms even in those who have never had an episode of psychosis. If you take pain meds too long (like opioids), you can end up with hyperalgesia - which is when things that used to be only mildly painful become very painful. Basically you have a hypersensitivity to pain until the nervous system gets back to normal. By sedating your system with drugs, you are telling it that there is no big hurry to return the system to normal, since it is having to adapt to excessive sedation from the trazodone, doxylamine etc.

 

The best thing you can do is just accept the nights when you're not sleeping. Just tell yourself you'll sleep better the next night. And you will. Eventually.

 

Do you think I should even steer clear of melatonin?

Yes, but if you've been taking it every night, you can taper it slowly. It's not like it's a big worry, you just don't want to shock your system, even if it is a small shock.

 

Probably best to avoid taking any drug or supplement that affects the nervous system until you recover. That includes caffeine, which increases neurotoxicity in people in alcohol and benzo withdrawal. You don't want your system to have to adjust to and metabolize drugs while it is trying to get back to its normal drug-free state. It's just extra work for the poor guy, and confusing.

I never feel even slightly tired, so I don’t ever consume any caffeine. And I don’t often use melatonin, so discontinuation should be no problem at all.

During early recovery when I wasn’t sleeping I used chamomile tea to help with sleep. Chamomile binds to benzodiazepine receptors but is a phytomedicine (plant origin). Some worry that it changes receptors as benzodiazepines do, but so far I have seen no evidence of this, and I’ve scoured scientific articles in hopes of finding a definitive answer.  It is, in fact, being tested for use as an alternative to benzodiazepines.

 

Many people here have used chamomile with no ill effects.  I still double bag chamomile tea in a little water if I have a streak of nights of insomnia.  No ill effects.

 

Best of luck! Unless insomnia was pre-existing, normal  sleep patterns should return with more time.

During early recovery when I wasn’t sleeping I used chamomile tea to help with sleep. Chamomile binds to benzodiazepine receptors but is a phytomedicine (plant origin). Some worry that it changes receptors as benzodiazepines do, but so far I have seen no evidence of this, and I’ve scoured scientific articles in hopes of finding a definitive answer.  It is, in fact, being tested for use as an alternative to benzodiazepines.

 

Many people here have used chamomile with no ill effects.  I still double bag chamomile tea in a little water if I have a streak of nights of insomnia.  No ill effects.

 

Best of luck! Unless insomnia was pre-existing, normal  sleep patterns should return with more time.

 

Insomnia wasn’t pre-existing. Some nights it would take me awhile to fall asleep, but I slept 7-8 hours a night without a problem. I was doing so much better, but then drank one tall glass of beer on July 5. That undid everything and I’ve been in hell ever since. I’m honestly losing hope...

Hi Everyone.    Well, it has been a long time since I have been BB...it is truly a LIFESAVER.  I am about 2 years out and still have good and bad sleep...I slept good every day for about 2 weeks,even got sleepy during the day and took naps, and sleepy at night, also had dreams which I didn't have before.  Even started running again.    Felt like a human being again.  then not so good, then a little better,  now it is horrible.....I wake up at 2:30 a.m.,  of course,  then I go to the bathroom, and cannot go back to sleep.  I also don't feel sleepy anymore during the day or at nighttime.  It is awful.    Is this healing?    Having good sleep then not good sleep....  Could it be high cortisol at night? If so,  what to do for that....I certainly don't want to take any supplements like Ashwagahdha .  I am so confused.

. 

Thank you everyone!!

Hi Everyone.    Well, it has been a long time since I have been BB...it is truly a LIFESAVER.  I am about 2 years out and still have good and bad sleep...I slept good every day for about 2 weeks,even got sleepy during the day and took naps, and sleepy at night, also had dreams which I didn't have before.  Even started running again.    Felt like a human being again.  then not so good, then a little better,  now it is horrible.....I wake up at 2:30 a.m.,  of course,  then I go to the bathroom, and cannot go back to sleep.  I also don't feel sleepy anymore during the day or at nighttime.  It is awful.    Is this healing?    Having good sleep then not good sleep....  Could it be high cortisol at night? If so,  what to do for that....I certainly don't want to take any supplements like Ashwagahdha .  I am so confused.

. 

Thank you everyone!!

 

How much sleep do you get before you wake up at 2:30?

Hi Everyone.    Well, it has been a long time since I have been BB...it is truly a LIFESAVER.  I am about 2 years out and still have good and bad sleep...I slept good every day for about 2 weeks,even got sleepy during the day and took naps, and sleepy at night, also had dreams which I didn't have before.  Even started running again.    Felt like a human being again.  then not so good, then a little better,  now it is horrible.....I wake up at 2:30 a.m.,  of course,  then I go to the bathroom, and cannot go back to sleep.  I also don't feel sleepy anymore during the day or at nighttime.  It is awful.    Is this healing?    Having good sleep then not good sleep....  Could it be high cortisol at night? If so,  what to do for that....I certainly don't want to take any supplements like Ashwagahdha .  I am so confused.

. 

Thank you everyone!!

 

That's how sleep returns for most...UP and DOWN for some time.  I am over 3 years off and just had a 1 hour night followed by a 3 hour night last week.  I Felt "wired" like I did during the thick of my WD, but it was just a "blip" on the radar and not a Category 5 storm as I slept really well the previous 6 months.  I went through a long period where I would go to bed around 8:30 pm and wake up between 2 and 3 am almost every night and I couldn't get back to sleep.  I figured my body got all the sleep it needed for that night, so I never let it bother me and I never really felt tired during the day.  I was still getting 5 or 6 hours of sleep and it eventually evened out.  What worked for me was not trying to "connect the dots" or not trying to reach for something natural or OTC or worrying if it is "cortisol" or something I ate, etc.  It is what it is and it evens out.  Western medicine always tries to "fix" everything immediately when things rarely need "fixing."  I took Benzos for sleep issues to begin with so I am not expecting to have "great" sleep all the time even though I have been completely healed from all of my other symptoms for about 20 months. 

 

Just be grateful for any sleep you do get and I would bet the "horrible" sleep now is still way better than it was your first year off?  You'll get there.  You are still healing.  This takes a long time for some people, but hold onto the fact that you had 2 weeks of good sleep.  If that happened before, it WILL happen again!

Thanks everyone for your comments..…..your comments are MOST HELPFUL AND RE-ASSURING!...….Again,  I am in a slump.....I was sleeping good for a few weeks..... I go to bed around 9:30 p.m. or 10:00 and I am up between 2:00 a.m. and 3:00 a.m. like clockwork...…...this is such a rollercoaster.  Jrm97....It seems we are in the same boat together....same sleep pattern.....Are GABA receptors trying to heal?  I am not very good at understanding all of this mess.

Symptoms are signs of healing.  Insomnia is a symptom of that healing.  It will even out if it hasn't already!