Great thing about BB

I gotta say. When my symptoms are at there worst like now. Just posting my symptoms helps. Even if it’s a little. There’s something about bitching about the same symptoms everyone else is going through that makes me feel better. It’s comforting knowing we have people getting ready to taper, tapering, jumping off, in acute, 6-12-18 months off and years off.

 

We all are desperate for relief and answers. All of the crazy symptoms and feeling we are enduring. Coming on here to release that need for help actually works.

 

I’m still in awe at how powerful these drugs are. I can’t believe it’s taking this long.

 

I was an oxy addict (10 years clean)  and used to think that was the hardest withdrawal. That’s a walk in the park compared to this.

It's true, coming here helps so much.  Know one but us knows how hard this is, they think we are nuts if we say this withdrawal is harder.  Glad to have you here.  Let us know if we can support you in anyway or you just want to chat.  Mary 💜

It's true, coming here helps so much.  Know one but us knows how hard this is, they think we are nuts if we say this withdrawal is harder.  Glad to have you here.  Let us know if we can support you in anyway or you just want to chat.  Mary 💜

 

Thanks Mary. I appreciate that.

I lived on this forum at the worst of it. It had such a profound effect on me that I’ve hung around to help here long after I recovered. I have taken some long BB breaks, but I know how important it is to offer support however I can since I’m retired and have time to give. You can’t know what it’s like unless you’ve been there.

I lived on this forum at the worst of it. It had such a profound effect on me that I’ve hung around to help here long after I recovered. I have taken some long BB breaks, but I know how important it is to offer support however I can since I’m retired and have time to give. You can’t know what it’s like unless you’ve been there.

 

We appreciate you sticking around.

 

About how many years would you say it took before you felt 100% all the time

I’ll answer that, but keep in mind that I was on and off benzodiazepines for the best part of 31 years. I also blew my taper at the end, bringing on symptoms I didn’t have up until that point. My taper had been relatively easy until I tried to stop my taper at too high of a dose. And we all heal at a different rate. 

 

The first 18 months were tough.  The next few years were the ‘waves and windows’ period. It was around 5 years before I felt 100% all the time.

Challis,

 

Thank you.  I’m hugging you right now. 

 

:hug: :hug:

 

Ya feel it?

 

Love,

 

Sofa

Jus1more and Mary,

 

Thank you for expressing your gratitude for BB.  The forum isn’t “perfect” because people aren’t perfect.  And the forum is people.

 

You know what is perfect and beautiful?  People’s intentions.  We are all here for each other in this foxhole and, along with all the team’s unwavering efforts, no one is left behind.

 

I’d say that’s pretty extraordinary.

 

Sofa

That's all so perfectly said Sofa, people aren't perfect at the best of times, much less going through withdrawal.  Being here for each other is bb......Mary  :smitten:

I love this post. I agree I don’t know where I’d be without all of you who take time out of your day to respond to complete strangers in hopes that they won’t feel alone. I try to do the same and I should respond even more. I can never repay the people on here.

How did people do this before the internet? It doesn’t seem possible to me. Espy

How did people do this before the internet? It doesn’t seem possible to me. Espy

 

I have no idea, I can't even imagined.  That thought is like a nightmare 

I’ll answer that, but keep in mind that I was on and off benzodiazepines for the best part of 31 years. I also blew my taper at the end, bringing on symptoms I didn’t have up until that point. My taper had been relatively easy until I tried to stop my taper at too high of a dose. And we all heal at a different rate. 

 

The first 18 months were tough.  The next few years were the ‘waves and windows’ period. It was around 5 years before I felt 100% all the time.

 

5 years?! Omg. I’m having a panic attack. lol

 

I think I was through the worst up until I tried that bpc 157. I mean, I was at the gym and even could handle high level caffeine drinks no problem. I tried that bpc and something in there set me back.

 

I can’t wait until my old self is back

Jus1more and Mary,

 

Thank you for expressing your gratitude for BB.  The forum isn’t “perfect” because people aren’t perfect.  And the forum is people.

 

You know what is perfect and beautiful?  People’s intentions.  We are all here for each other in this foxhole and, along with all the team’s unwavering efforts, no one is left behind.

 

I’d say that’s pretty extraordinary.

 

Sofa

 

No it’s not perfect. Nothing is. What’s important is support and being able to relate. All of us are drenched in fear of these pain or that sensation, these stomach issues or heart issues, etc etc. it’s been repeated a thousand times but we keep asking everyone: “do you guys ever feel......?” And sometimes there few responses or sometimes many. Important thing is everyone should get a response. We were all at a vulnerable point.

 

It’s a safe place for many of us including myself. I come here when it gets rough, frantically searching my current symptoms praying that someone already posted about them so I can chalk it up for benzo wds.

 

It’s an extremely important forum for vulnerable and fragile people. This shit is hard. Man, I beat oxy, heroin and Suboxone. Suboxone being the hardest of those 3 but this benzo shit is unworldly. I’d go through a 6 month opioid withdrawal rather than go through a 1 month benzo wd.

 

Anyways. You guys are great. This place is amazing and I thank everyone.

I love this post. I agree I don’t know where I’d be without all of you who take time out of your day to respond to complete strangers in hopes that they won’t feel alone. I try to do the same and I should respond even more. I can never repay the people on here.

 

You repay every time you reach out  :smitten:  Mary

Great post and I agree I Come here for that connection to ppl who get it. I never would have known what was happening to me or what to do w/o internet and BB. I hope we all get to 100%! 

Jus1Mor,

 

Totally agree with you about opiate withdrawal.  A walk in the park compared to this beast.  If you go to bluelight.org, you read posts from people who can’t believe we BB members are doing this.  They tried to quit and couldn’t handle it.

 

So count yourself among the strongest.  It will make you proud of what you are going through because you are determined to reclaim your life.  When you’re in the pitch black darkness, the only light you can see is the one inside you.  And it’s bright enough to feel your way out of this.  It gets brighter every step you take.  So just keep walking.

 

I’m proud to be alongside you.

 

Sofa

Jus1Mor,

 

Totally agree with you about opiate withdrawal.  A walk in the park compared to this beast.  If you go to bluelight.org, you read posts from people who can’t believe we BB members are doing this.  They tried to quit and couldn’t handle it.

 

So count yourself among the strongest.  It will make you proud of what you are going through because you are determined to reclaim your life.  When you’re in the pitch black darkness, the only light you can see is the one inside you.  And it’s bright enough to feel your way out of this.  It gets brighter every step you take.  So just keep walking.

 

I’m proud to be alongside you.

 

Sofa

 

Sofa- interesting that there’s another site where ppl can’t quit. Thank you for posting that. I hope they find a way but it does put into perspective that it is quite an accomplishment to get off. I hope we all feel better soon.

Sofa, I have always thought that the reason we are told we are an anomaly is possibly because most long term users don’t quit, or can’t ride it out and reinstate. Most of us are told by our providers that they have never seen an outcome like ours. Espy

Espy,

 

I’m in the camp of people who don’t believe we are an anomaly at all.  My SIL is a doctor who works with many neurosurgeons and he has told them what has happened to me.  They all said to him this is completely normal for benzo withdrawal.  It takes years to resolve.  They said these drugs are dangerous and should have been pulled off the market years ago.  They told my SIL it is very rare if people discontinue these drugs without a scratch.  THOSE people are the anomalies.

 

Sofa

My question is why do doctors not speak out to their colleagues? Silence is complicit, especially when you are the only ones who have the power to be heard. It seems your providers are among the few who are speaking. I am so tired of hearing there is nothing in the literature. That seems to be the only standard of proof. We are guilty, until we are proven innocent. Espy

Sofa- very interesting!  I agree that we are not an anomaly. Idk why so many docs think this is so rare. And yet a few think this is the norm. There are ppl who CT no problem so it is confusing. It’s not that everyone just stays on it. Maybe if ppl have w/d sxs, they are more likely to stay in? Idk

 

Espy- prob they are not being complicit and do tell colleagues but said colleagues may not listen.

True. I don’t think anyone my doctor works with would. They laughed at the taper he was letting me get away with. Espy

Espy,

 

These neurologists are not speaking out.  They are speaking to my SIL, another doctor.  What they say to each other is quite different than what they say to a patient.  My SIL, an anesthesiologist, stopped including benzos in his pre-surgery cocktail after what happened to me and after hearing what his colleagues had to say about benzos.  Even though pre-surgery benzos, given just one time, aren’t likely to cause withdrawal, just the possibility that they might, made my SIL take pause.  Benzos pre-surgery are given to relax the patient.  Benzos do not put people to sleep.  So if my SIL can talk patients out of the pre-surgery benzo, reassuring them that he will put them gently to sleep in the OR without the need to relax them with a benzo before wheeling them in, I’m happy.

 

Sofa

Yes!