Forgetting Stuff

I'm not sure if I have posted about this before.  I will forget something and my mind will latch onto it and try and remember it for hours and days non-stop.  I have no control over it.  My mind feels like it lost something forever and will never get it back.  It eventually goes away after hours/days of mental torture. 

Does this sound like a normal withdrawal symptom?  The further I get out the more I start worrying that something else might be going on.  Like a brain tumor or something.

Oh YES it sure is a normal withdrawal symptom. Rest assured on that.

Always keep in mind that benzos work on your BRAIN. They calm down your "fear center." They also do a lot more than that but for now we are keeping this simple. When one goes OFF benzos, your brain over-reacts in a huge way, causing all sorts of weird symptoms And all of them are normal, because all of them come from your brain. Your brain controls everything about you. Benzos mess it up by slowing things down and affecting your mood, your thinking, even how you digest your food. They are THAT powerful, these darn benzos.

I was exactly like you for my first year post CT off a ton of benzos. Like you I was terrified. I really thought I had gone insane. Or worse. Everything about me was just wrong and awful. I could not eat, I could barely walk, my mind raced 24/7. I did not sleep a wink that first year, no lie. The only reason I didn't kill myself was my cats. I could not do that to them. Plus my paranoia of doctors then made me refuse to reinstate. I am SO glad I didn't.

Please don't give up. What you are experiencing is well known to be normal for benzo wd. You have a LOT of company in what you described.

Now, fast forward to today, 7 years after my cold turkey. I am now one of the healthiest, happiest 69 year old on earth. I love life now, I cherish it. I feel love again, I care again, I think again. I work again!

Amazing but so true.

BIG HUG TO YOU!

east

Lovely post eastcoast. I remember you used to encourage me that I'd heal and I shouldn't fear my symptoms. Indeed like many other survivors, you were right. I'm healed, so my dear you will heal too. It's important to have acceptance. Accept that this is beyond control and you have no control on the pace of your healing. I always tried to distract myself all the time via work, it's hard but it is certainly better than sitting and giving your symptoms attention.

Keep well, and God be with you!

I agree, Dave. Acceptance is a hard concept to get when you are in the throes of benzo wd. It means that you just give in and accept that all the weird stuff you are feeling is NORMAL for benzo wd. Accepting that sets you a bit more free, and then you can start trying new things to ease your weird symptoms. There are NO easy answers or outs to this .Benzo wd can feel like hell on earth. But it does end and even if very slowly, you will start to find out who you really are, without benzos.

Dave, I am so glad you did heal! I know you struggled a lot. Feel free to PM me, because I would love to hear more of your story.

Everyone on BB is a survivor. Once you heal you know without a bit of doubt how tough you really are. This is a wonderful thing to know! That you did something SO difficult and painful...and survived...is a testament to your very soul.

Hate to sound so "poofy" but sometimes sentiment does mean a lot.

east