Scared! Should I Start Tonight? Advice?

I'm soooooooooooooo scared.

 

I've been on Xanax for 15 years.. Started at 1.5mg, and have been on 3mg for about 9 years. I only take them at night, about 19:00 so that most of the effect is slept off. I can't remember the last time I took them during the day, but I felt groggy, and I'd want to eat (I can't afford food, and only start to eat about an hour after I've taken my 3mg)

 

What do you all think of my plan?

 

2.5 mg (starting tonight) for 20 days

2mg - 20 days

1.5 - 20 days

1 - 20 days

.5 - 20 days

 

I haven't counted my remaining pills, but if I have any extra, I would continue to take .5, or hopefully, once every other day, or maybe less, only when I'm having a full-blown panic attack.

 

My psychiatrist found an opiate a few months ago during a random drug test (to see if I was taking my xanax... sure), and decided to taper me off in a month, which I feel is being negligent. I even asked if I could have them in smaller doses, instead of 1mg (blue), maybe the peach (.5) or even better, the white (.25)... NOPE.

 

That Friday, I came home and felt sick to my stomach. I went through withdrawals once, but it was only after a year of taking them, and I was on half (1.5mg), and it was hell. I read a few logs on here, but had to stop, since it was scaring me more.... That night, I was shaking, etc., and I didn't change my schedule, so I'm guessing it was brain sending my signals. I had a therapist appointment a few days after, and was told if I followed that quick taper, and if I tested positive, that I might be allowed to go back on. I refused, so I ended up canceling my services there.

 

For the last 6 weeks, I've had this ulcer of some sort. And I've been so much more anxious than usual. I found one psychiatrist, but in the 2 weeks waiting, I kept going on and on in my head (and even aloud) how I would go about talking. I canceled once because I wanted to delay, and then the night before my appointment, I woke up at 3am. I thought of canceling, but I went, and she said they probably wouldn't prescribe Xanax, and it seemed like she was going to milk my insurance for all they could. I also noticed that when I filled out 1 of 20 pages, the first thing was "I do/don't agree to allow information from previous psychiatry...." and I circled "don't", and was told I had to circle "do" (some choice, eh?)... I asked why, and was told "so your insurance will cover it" (what a racket!)

 

I was scheduled another therapy appointment, which only added more anxiety. First off, I don't even want to leave my house anymore, and have been this way for at least a year. I also don't like being in cars. So after a few days of seeing her, I canceled. I didn't wanna go through that waiting game. Anticipation drives me nuts.

 

I thought the idea of having not having any plans (besides getting food, etc) would relax me more. I think this ulcer feeling has turning into nerves, and tums won't help, neither does ginger root, but it has other uses, so I bought some today..

 

 

Anyway, sorry for being so long, I actually edited this! If anyone has any tips, or things to do to help, or certain foods, vitamins, ANYTHING, I'm all eyes.

Taking 3mg all at once and then no more for 24 hours might be part of the problem.  Xanax is short-acting, around 4-5 hours, so I wonder if you’re experiencing withdrawal in between doses.

 

Aside from that, looking at your schedule:

 

2.5 mg (starting tonight) for 20 days

2mg - 20 days

1.5 - 20 days

1 - 20 days

.5 - 20 days

 

I would do something like the following:

 

2.75mg for 7-10 days (longer if any symptoms don’t settle down)

2.5mg for 7-10 days

2.25 mg

2.0mg

1.75mg

1.5mg

1.25mg

 

And so on, slowing the mg a down a bit as you go lower to keep it around 10%.

 

Then re-evaluate where you are.

Taking 3mg all at once and then no more for 24 hours might be part of the problem.  Xanax is short-acting, around 4-5 hours, so I wonder if you’re experiencing withdrawal in between doses.

 

Aside from that, looking at your schedule:

 

2.5 mg (starting tonight) for 20 days

2mg - 20 days

1.5 - 20 days

1 - 20 days

.5 - 20 days

 

I would do something like the following:

 

2.75mg for 7-10 days (longer if any symptoms don’t settle down)

2.5mg for 7-10 days

2.25 mg

2.0mg

1.75mg

1.5mg

1.25mg

 

And so on, slowing the mg a down a bit as you go lower to keep it around 10%.

 

Then re-evaluate where you are.

 

That's an even better idea, but I worry about the pills turning into powder. But I guess I can bite a half of a half.

Hey there.  I feel for you because I’ve been tapering off klonopin for a month.  I’m not great to give advice on how to taper off the meds.  I’ve had someone recommend to me to taper off slowly and make sure to tell the doc that.  But also spread out the medication through out the day in smaller doses. So if ur tapering down to 3 mg a day.  Spread out the 3 mg through out the day.  And keep doing this but let them lower your dose in smaller doses.  But my biggest recommendation is to utilize mediation.  There are great apps on phones.  Distraction works great. And when I’m having my panic attacks I listen to music , or go for a walk or do something to keep active.  You can do this. It’s hard but ur alone. That’s what I’m finding out here

Yeah, I don’t know why your doctor won’t give you the same amount in smaller pills... .25mg is an easy size to work with. Absurd not to help the patient taper by prescribing smaller tablets.

From what you said it seems like you no longer have access to a psychiatrist who will prescribe for you longer than a month? Is that accurate? Or maybe you have one but they won't prescribe you Xanax? Will they prescribe something else? Because a slow taper isn't going to help you if you don't have someone prescribing you the necessary medicine.

 

If you do have access...

There are pill splitters you can buy, jeweler's scales you can weigh out smaller amounts each day, methods to turn your pill into a liquid form so you can control the dose more carefully, compounding pharmacies that will do this for you (at least in some places), as well as ways to cross over to a longer acting Benzos.

 

That's a lot of options, and they all have pluses and minuses, but if you search the boards, and keep posting questions you will get a lot of good information.

 

I apologize if you already clarified your prescriber info and I'm just not seeing it: my brain is not at it's best right now.

From what you said it seems like you no longer have access to a psychiatrist who will prescribe for you longer than a month? Is that accurate? Or maybe you have one but they won't prescribe you Xanax? Will they prescribe something else? Because a slow taper isn't going to help you if you don't have someone prescribing you the necessary medicine.

 

If you do have access...

There are pill splitters you can buy, jeweler's scales you can weigh out smaller amounts each day, methods to turn your pill into a liquid form so you can control the dose more carefully, compounding pharmacies that will do this for you (at least in some places), as well as ways to cross over to a longer acting Benzos.

 

That's a lot of options, and they all have pluses and minuses, but if you search the boards, and keep posting questions you will get a lot of good information.

 

I apologize if you already clarified your prescriber info and I'm just not seeing it: my brain is not at it's best right now.

That's ok - I totally understand, trust me. I don't have a doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, nothing... I guess I can always bite half of a half. I'm a loner, I don't leave my house, I don't have the money,  but I think there's just no way around the hell from what I've experienced, but what I've read from every story on here. Thanks for the reply!

 

 

Hey there.  I feel for you because I’ve been tapering off klonopin for a month.  I’m not great to give advice on how to taper off the meds.  I’ve had someone recommend to me to taper off slowly and make sure to tell the doc that.  But also spread out the medication through out the day in smaller doses. So if ur tapering down to 3 mg a day.  Spread out the 3 mg through out the day.  And keep doing this but let them lower your dose in smaller doses.  But my biggest recommendation is to utilize mediation.  There are great apps on phones.  Distraction works great. And when I’m having my panic attacks I listen to music , or go for a walk or do something to keep active.  You can do this. It’s hard but ur alone. That’s what I’m finding out here

Thanks for the reply. I don't have a psychiatrist or a doctor.  I don't have a modern cell phone, and I wouldn't go for a walk in this neighborhood, or any other neighborhood. I don't have contact with anyone, which was improving everything -- sleep (which determines 90% of my day), anxiety, etc.... until I was cut off.

 

A recommendation I'll probably use, and would like to recommend to others is the use of comedy. Any laughter might subside some euphoria to make you feel a little better, and like you mentioned, music.

Well, you asked for advice, but unfortunately, I don't think  mine will be very encouraging. 

 

From 3mg to 2.5 mg is a huge cut (17%), and then gets bigger as a percentage as your dose declines.  The problem with a cut&hold taper is its the cut that shocks the system, and it will be the same no matter how long you hold.

 

I gather that you apparently have only limited options, due to financial issues, and issues with your prescriber.  But I would encourage you to try to explore some other , more tolerable, options before you proceed with that plan.

 

JMHO

Well, you asked for advice, but unfortunately, I don't think  mine will be very encouraging. 

 

From 3mg to 2.5 mg is a huge cut (17%), and then gets bigger as a percentage as your dose declines.  The problem with a cut&hold taper is its the cut that shocks the system, and it will be the same no matter how long you hold.

 

I gather that you apparently have only limited options, due to financial issues, and issues with your prescriber.  But I would encourage you to try to explore some other , more tolerable, options before you proceed with that plan.

 

JMHO

 

And I appreciate the advice. I think you are right.. Instead of 20 days, I could do 10 days of .25 reductions to avoid so much shock.

Well, you asked for advice, but unfortunately, I don't think  mine will be very encouraging. 

 

From 3mg to 2.5 mg is a huge cut (17%), and then gets bigger as a percentage as your dose declines.  The problem with a cut&hold taper is its the cut that shocks the system, and it will be the same no matter how long you hold.

I gather that you apparently have only limited options, due to financial issues, and issues with your prescriber.  But I would encourage you to try to explore some other , more tolerable, options before you proceed with that plan.

 

JMHO

 

Opinion...to be clear.

Forgive me, but I think that the major issue Ihatebusiness, is that you do not have access to enough of the drug for any of the typical plans to work in the way they are intended. Unless you have a stockpile somewhere. It might be helpful to share how much you do have. That way suggestions can be given based on that?

 

If its a few weeks worth, then on a certain level you are essentially going to be very, rapid tapering. I think you need to do whatever you can to find a new doctor. Is there a friend or family member that can get you to one? Many of us have found it difficult to find sympathetic doctors, but even one who can get you a prescription for a few weeks or a month would give you time to find a more receptive prescriber.

 

If not you might find helpful guidance on coping under the section, "Cold Turkey, Detox & Rapid Withdrawal."

 

I cold turkeyed twice, and rapid tapered once. It is not something anyone on this board would advice. My own experience was not successful. Though we are not you and are not in your situation and cannot decide for you.

 

I hope I am misreading the situation, and that you have either more options than it appears, or that you have a larger number of pills than it seems. Either way, there are people here who can provide support while you make the best choice you can. Don't be afraid, there is still time for you to make a considered and careful choice.

Well, you asked for advice, but unfortunately, I don't think  mine will be very encouraging. 

 

From 3mg to 2.5 mg is a huge cut (17%), and then gets bigger as a percentage as your dose declines.  The problem with a cut&hold taper is its the cut that shocks the system, and it will be the same no matter how long you hold.

I gather that you apparently have only limited options, due to financial issues, and issues with your prescriber.  But I would encourage you to try to explore some other , more tolerable, options before you proceed with that plan.

 

JMHO

 

Opinion...to be clear.

 

 

Uhh...the hghlighted part is NOT an opinion.  When you make a cut, the system will recognize and react to the cut.  Your system doesn't know how long you plan to hold, to recover from the cut.

 

Whether you plan to hold 2 days, 2 weeks, or 2 months, the initial shock to the system is the same.  In her case, a 17% cut will likely be a substantial shock, no matter how long she holds.

 

The JMHO at the end of my post was in regards to the need to explore other options.

 

Forgive me, but I think that the major issue Ihatebusiness, is that you do not have access to enough of the drug for any of the typical plans to work in the way they are intended. Unless you have a stockpile somewhere. It might be helpful to share how much you do have. That way suggestions can be given based on that?

 

If its a few weeks worth, then on a certain level you are essentially going to be very, rapid tapering. I think you need to do whatever you can to find a new doctor. Is there a friend or family member that can get you to one? Many of us have found it difficult to find sympathetic doctors, but even one who can get you a prescription for a few weeks or a month would give you time to find a more receptive prescriber.

 

If not you might find helpful guidance on coping under the section, "Cold Turkey, Detox & Rapid Withdrawal."

 

I cold turkeyed twice, and rapid tapered once. It is not something anyone on this board would advice. My own experience was not successful. Though we are not you and are not in your situation and cannot decide for you.

 

I hope I am misreading the situation, and that you have either more options than it appears, or that you have a larger number of pills than it seems. Either way, there are people here who can provide support while you make the best choice you can. Don't be afraid, there is still time for you to make a considered and careful choice.

 

No, I don't have anyone to help. Just me. I counted my pill jar weeks ago, and though I wrote it down, I tossed the paper away because it felt like it was a death sentence - a countdown.. But I took 2.75 (I took 2 whole pills, broke one pill in half which I swallowed, and then bit down on the remaining half - maybe it was 2.... I did this once a week ago, but only because I woke up at 3am, and thought I'd test out taking 2.5mg.... Last night, my brain felt odd, and at 11pm, I wasn't as tired, but eventually I went to sleep, and got enough, but I don't feel right. I know this is normal, but anticipation only gives me more anxiety.

 

I'm also afraid that I'll become dependent on alcohol (haven't had a drink in years), something available over the counter, something that will never be illegal.

Well, you asked for advice, but unfortunately, I don't think  mine will be very encouraging. 

 

From 3mg to 2.5 mg is a huge cut (17%), and then gets bigger as a percentage as your dose declines.  The problem with a cut&hold taper is its the cut that shocks the system, and it will be the same no matter how long you hold.

I gather that you apparently have only limited options, due to financial issues, and issues with your prescriber.  But I would encourage you to try to explore some other , more tolerable, options before you proceed with that plan.

 

JMHO

 

Opinion...to be clear.

 

 

Uhh...the hghlighted part is NOT an opinion.  When you make a cut, the system will recognize and react to the cut.  Your system doesn't know how long you plan to hold, to recover from the cut.

 

Whether you plan to hold 2 days, 2 weeks, or 2 months, the initial shock to the system is the same.  In her case, a 17% cut will likely be a substantial shock, no matter how long she holds.

 

The JMHO at the end of my post was in regards to the need to explore other options.

 

What Builder says is scientifically sound and is based on how many receptors work.

Why are you afraid you are going to become dependent on alcohol? Are you wanting to drink again? People here who have used alcohol trying taper and withdrawal have had very bad experiences.

Why are you afraid you are going to become dependent on alcohol? Are you wanting to drink again? People here who have used alcohol trying taper and withdrawal have had very bad experiences.

 

I've read about those bad experiences. I'm just afraid that I will not be "me", and do things out of desperation. The only reason I pick alcohol is because its available. I drank 20 years ago, and even then, I hated the taste, hangovers, etc..  I don't think I will, but its easy to talk about it now..

 

Since noon though, I've felt pretty good. And speaking of the placebo effect, I wonder how people would take it if they were told how wonderful you'd feel after tapering? I wonder how much my mind is working against me.

Hello!

 

What did you mean by cannot affording a food? If is it money, I can sent you some if you are hungry ...