New member intro. Could use support

I have been suffering from generalized anxiety disorder for years.  It’s caused me issues with family, friends and at work.  I get anxious and panicky about everything.  People don’t understand so they will get frustrated or even tease me about my anxiety.  I generally then get hurt and walk away or tell the person but in an emotional way and they get defensive.  So I lose a lot of friends.  But about two years ago I was put on clonopin.  At first it was a life saver.  I was able to escape the panic feelings and constant fears of dread.  But I was also horribly tired.  I was on about 2 mg a day.  Then over the year it was Increased to 3 mg a day when I left my job for being so anxious.  I was being bullied at work.  Work was overworking me.  I ended up in an intensive outpatient program that wasn’t helpful at all.  I was finally put on disability for my anxiety.  Something that I thought would be helpful but I’m broke and being told I have a disability now makes me feel like I’m crazy.  So in January  the shrink upped my dose to 4 mg.  I moved out of state to be closer to family and live where it was more affordable being on disability.  I’m in therapy and seeing a low cost shrink.  But two and a half months ago my shrink at the time lowered me to 3 mgs then a month later 2.5.  So for the last five weeks I’ve gone from 4mg to 2.5.  He also put me on remeron to help with the withdrawal symptoms and busporine.  But everyone morning I wake up in hell.  I am crying. I feel like I’m going crazy.  I feel like everything catastrophic thought is going to happen.  I feel I’m going to be homeless.  I’m waiting for my back pay from disability to come in. They said it would be in my November but I’m catastrophizing it won’t and I’ll lose my apt.  I take 1mg of clonozepam in the am around 7 am. It does nothing.  I then about noon take the second 1 mg.  This starts to help.  I can generally get up. Shower. But I still struggle with constant thoughts of worry and feeling like I don’t feel well. Then at 53o pm I take the 1/2 mg of clonopin.  I also take as I said busporine 4x a day. So I take it with each clonopin.  The evening is the best. I’m the most relaxed.  I also have no appetite during the day.  I can’t eat. But then around 6 I get hungry.  Then I take remeron.  This totally helps me to calm down. The evenings are the easiest.  But I was still not hungry so the pharmacy told me to take the remeron around 630.  This has been great because I get an intense appetite and can have dinner.  Before I took remeron at 9 and would be up eating at 1 am. Now at. 630 I’m eating till about 8.  Then I take melatonin.  By 10 I’m out and the midnight eating has stopped.  Remeron doesn’t help me sleep.  It calms me and helps with not taking the clonapin from 4mg to 2.5. But it doesn’t seem to have an effect on me during the day which I wish it would.  And I wish I could eat during the day.  I had a colonoscopy and nothing was found. They said it was stress.  I just worry that once I go off the 2.5 I’m gonna end up In a psych ward.  I’m at a low cost clinic that said they will help with weening me off but no one seems to have experience.  My shrink just told me to do what was best for me. So I went from 4 to 3 in 4 weeks. Then 3 to 2.5 two weeks later and have stayed on 2.5 for 5 weeks.  My moods swing.  I’m irritable. I’m ina state of panic all day.  No one gets it.  My friends say I’m too much.

Hello Scotty42 Welcome to Benzobuddies!

 

I am very glad you joined our community.  I am sorry that you are being taken off too quick, I would suggest you ask your psychiatrist if he will help with a slower taper.  The nature of benzodiazepines is that they need to be reduced carefully and slowly.  We can help you with support, encouragement and taper/withdrawal information.  In general it’s advised to cut your daily dose by somewhere between 5% and 10% every 10 - 14 days.  Many need to taper even slower, whatever feels comfortable, the aim is to try to keep symptoms manageable.

 

I will leave a link to this members support group, members will be happy to share their experience and offer advice.   

 

Klonopin Klub

 

I would suggest that you familiarise yourself with the Ashton Manual, It is a great resource for understanding the effect benzo’s have on our body.  It provides tapering and withdrawal information and includes a list of common symptoms 

 

You will find some very valuable support and information on the forum.  Our members are happy to share their personal experiences with you and support you.. Please feel free to browse the boards and post questions to any of the dedicated threads.

 

I'll leave you a few links:

 

The Ashton Manual. 

Withdrawal Support

General Taper Plans

 

If you would care to add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) it will help members give you relevant advice.  Go to the top of the page and select PROFILE then choose forum profile then insert drug history into the text box and remember to click change profile

 

Welcome aboard

Magrita