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I feel like I'm going to die every second


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I'm so desperate, I CT off Ativan 2 months ago, I was suicidal and agressive, had crazy intrusive thoughts I couldn't control and had urges to do things, I'm so sorry for myself I went to the hospital because I wasn't feeling safe anymore, I reinstated on Valium didn't worked, I'm kindling it is my 5th time going off, I was put on Paxil and Seroquel, I can't go off meds, my withdrawal go crazy, I'm so desperate I'm not an suicidal and agressive person anymore, I don't have intrusive thoughts anymore, but I'm feeling like a zombie, my dp/dr and cog fog, memory problems are now even worse, I'm drugged all day long, still have 4mg Valium to taper. Any advices should I taper Valium first and then after some time other meds, I hope I'll heal to some degree on this meds, I never had suicidal thoughts and depression even before benzos only anxiety and insomnia.

 

I'm praying everday that this ends soon, and dp/dr got little bit better, I hope that Seroquel and Paxil doesn't giving me more dp/dr as a side effect, I totally lost myself I don't know me anymore.

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I forgot that my vision is really bad, I almost don't see at night, and colours are so dark - dimmed, world is so strange and it feels like my brain is dying, no energy, I have physical depression too, so much fatigue, sometimes I'm so depressed that I can't talk or walk. crazy :idiot: :'(
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I'm sorry you are going through this. It is absolute torture. I have dealt with the intrusive thoughts about being aggressive and suicidal for a very long time throughout this withdrawal. The suicidal have gotten better but I still feel mad all the time for literally no reason but normal life stress and being alive. I understand what you mean about the depression being so bad you don't want to walk or talk. I've felt that many time before. I'll even have some good news to tell somebody and I can't say it because I'm depressed.

 

I've also been dealing with the DR/DP and the blurred vision throughout my protracted withdrawal. You are not alone.

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  • 1 month later...

I'm so desperate, I CT off Ativan 2 months ago, I was suicidal and agressive, had crazy intrusive thoughts I couldn't control and had urges to do things, I'm so sorry for myself I went to the hospital because I wasn't feeling safe anymore, I reinstated on Valium didn't worked, I'm kindling it is my 5th time going off, I was put on Paxil and Seroquel, I can't go off meds, my withdrawal go crazy, I'm so desperate I'm not an suicidal and agressive person anymore, I don't have intrusive thoughts anymore, but I'm feeling like a zombie, my dp/dr and cog fog, memory problems are now even worse, I'm drugged all day long, still have 4mg Valium to taper. Any advices should I taper Valium first and then after some time other meds, I hope I'll heal to some degree on this meds, I never had suicidal thoughts and depression even before benzos only anxiety and insomnia.

 

I'm praying everday that this ends soon, and dp/dr got little bit better, I hope that Seroquel and Paxil doesn't giving me more dp/dr as a side effect, I totally lost myself I don't know me anymore.

 

seroquel made things worse for me so i switched to trazadone 25 mg or less for sleep. if you're already suffering, i say go more aggresively on your V taper to get out of this shit quicker and stabilize

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