I’m struggling!

Hi, I’ve been totally off benzo’s for 3 weeks now. I went to a rehab center and was detoxed there in 1 week, which was way too fast!! I don’t want to reinstate but I’m feeling really frustrated at how sick I feel. I’m on a leave from work till sometime in November because I’m doing an Outpatient therapy program. My job is very stressful and physical. I need to go back ASAP because my funds are running low. But I can hardly make it to my IOP because of how sick I feel, running errands is difficult, basically anything bedsides lying in bed is hard. I’m alone so I have to do stuff and like I said before can’t miss anymore work. But I have no idea how I’m supposed to do it if I keep feeling like this. I’m trying to stay in the moment and tell myself I still have time off and hopefully will get better. I literally feel like I must be dying...I have a terrible stomach ache, bloated, nauseous, not much of an appetite. My head hurts almost every day, my muscles ache especially my neck, lower back and thighs. My legs twitch a lot. I guess it feels like I have a flu, one that keeps on and on...without a fever. I would have thought after 3 weeks some of the physical symptoms would be gone. I know it takes a long time but I thought that was more the mental stuff not the flu like symptoms.  Of course I have the mental stuff too!! I tell myself to stay positive and all of that good stuff but some days I fear I might be going completely insane and it’s so hard to feel sick constantly. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Where did you go?  That was fast.  Hope you are feeling better.

 

Unfortunately detox centres are not the best way to get off benzos, i don't mean to scare you but be prepared for these sxs to last some time. I hope they don't but just be aware. Take care.

You have to just push through. It’s going to be really hard. I went back to work after a fast taper. I couldn’t even walk. I am 8 months off and just now feel like I can do my job properly. I am a railroad foreman. It’s a very physical job. Going back to work actually distracted me and strengthened me.

Thank you both.  Did you both go through detox?

Kind of, I checked myself into the psych unit after getting very sick trying to taper off at home. It was CT’d off of Xanax and then reinstated to Ativan. I was tapered off Ativan over the course of 5 weeks in outpatient care. It was brutal. The first 3 months after jumping were the terrible. But the CT and the failed taper leading to the hospital CT were the worst.

I didn't go to a detox but it was just as bad. I was CTd by Dr who then reinstated me after 3 days as i ended up in hospital. 4 days later the doc CTd me again.After another 3 days doc reinstated me and dragged me off on a fast taper. Absolutely horrific and it has caused severe ongoing health issues that were not there prior to that. At 21 months off I'm still suffering terribly. I didn't find BB until months later. A slow taper is better.

I’m sorry you had such awful experiences.  Hope things are getting better for your both.

My doc tried to taper me off Fioricet which I was abusing, it has a barbiturate in it which makes it very similar to a Benzo. I was also taking Ativan 1 mg per day but not abusing it. I couldn’t do the tapper with the Fioricet because I had no self control. My doc didn’t believe me about not abusing the Ativan and that’s how I ended up in detox where they weaned me with just Ativan in 1 week. So now here I am 3 weeks later feeling pretty awful!!

Like so many people have said in here the doctors don’t understand and they’re telling me I should be better by now and want to run all kinds of tests on me. But if it’s all part of Benzo withdrawal why bother? Ugggg and why don’t know more???

I agree.  Are you feeling like you are making progress there anyway?