Jump to content

What's the right type of help to seek?


[he...]

Recommended Posts

Well, today I finally hit a point where I've admitted to myself that I am going to need to take some medical leave from work. I've talked to my boss, and the wheels are in motion.

 

The anxiety and depression have gotten so bad that I feel like I am also in need for some very extensive therapeutic mental help. I've started considering maybe even doing an inpatient program somewhere, but I don't know what type a facility to call. I have called a few that claim to be "Mental Health Centers" of some sort, but the second I mention benzos, they start talking about how they will "safely detox me". I'm also afraid that any facility will just try to medicate me further.

 

I just know I need help, but it's so hard to find the right kind of help with benzos. I'm in therapy, but that's just not cutting it. Any pointers on where I should turn?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bump

 

... I do not wanna do a detox center, but there’s one that has almost talked me into it, though. I feel like I need some sort of AD or something to help me through this. Where should I go for help??!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[81...]
I can't answer your question specifically but i think a detox centre could cause you more harm than good. It may be ok if they allow you to continue your taper on your terms and monitor you if you start an AD but most want to drag you off in a week. The one you mention might be different but idk, it's still a risk imo. I understand you saying you need other help, at 22 months off I'm sick of this horror show but be careful, be armed with knowledge and ask lots of questions.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey,

I would go to a doctor that is "Benzo" friendly. They are out there.  There is a list out there somewhere of some.

 

I would not do detox center. I went there. Pumped me full of librium and a week after I got out... horrible withdrawal symptoms.

However, it did get me OFF the Xanax.  Now on Klonopin down to .50.    However, being in a detox facility eliminated all the stressors

in my life.  What are you taking, how much etc?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Talked to a few detox centers this morning, and they all told me that if I continue my taper on my own terms and don't do a detox there, then it's not covered by insurance  >:( . They all say that they don't know of any facilities around that focus on mental health only. It seems so ridiculous. They say to ask for help when you're desperate, but I am frantically asking for help, and nobody can help me.

 

I am definitely armed with knowledge and questions, too much so. Everything I read on here scares the shit out of me even more. I need to just stay off of here, but I just can't seem to.

 

I'm taking Klonopin... .25mg/day. Debating a switch to Valium, but I'm scared.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Talked to a few detox centers this morning, and they all told me that if I continue my taper on my own terms and don't do a detox there, then it's not covered by insurance  >:( . They all say that they don't know of any facilities around that focus on mental health only. It seems so ridiculous. They say to ask for help when you're desperate, but I am frantically asking for help, and nobody can help me.

 

I am definitely armed with knowledge and questions, too much so. Everything I read on here scares the shit out of me even more. I need to just stay off of here, but I just can't seem to.

 

I'm taking Klonopin... .25mg/day. Debating a switch to Valium, but I'm scared.

 

Sweetie.. try and calm the fear a bit.  Fear makes logic flee the building.  :)  Deep breaths, darlin'.

 

Look at what you already know.  The detox centers can't help you mainly because they can't treat you for the length of time that you may require while dealing with withdrawals.  I'm unfamiliar with the medical systems where you are but are there no therapists that can treat you outside in an office setting?  For specific mental issues only?  While you continue with your taper on your own?

 

Or is your question mainly about switching benzos?  I'm a bit confused.  Sorry.

Libs 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sweetie.. try and calm the fear a bit.  Fear makes logic flee the building.  :)  Deep breaths, darlin'.

 

Look at what you already know.  The detox centers can't help you mainly because they can't treat you for the length of time that you may require while dealing with withdrawals.  I'm unfamiliar with the medical systems where you are but are there no therapists that can treat you outside in an office setting?  For specific mental issues only?  While you continue with your taper on your own?

 

Or is your question mainly about switching benzos?  I'm a bit confused.  Sorry.

Libs

 

Tryin' to calm down, haha. But it is hard. It's been a real tough couple of weeks.

 

Sorry, I just listed which med I was on as an answer to Nomorebenzos question. But if you wanna weigh in on if I should attempt a crossover to Diazepam, feel free!

 

Yes, I've tried 3 different therapists (I'm on my 3rd now), but none of them get benzo withdrawals or adverse effects at all. They all try to dig deep into my life. My life is fine, but it's the benzos that are ruining it. I need to figure out how to cope with the mental symptoms, or find an anti-depressant or something that will help me.

 

Feeling a bit better at the moment, though... so that's good.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sweetie.. try and calm the fear a bit.  Fear makes logic flee the building.  :)  Deep breaths, darlin'.

 

Look at what you already know.  The detox centers can't help you mainly because they can't treat you for the length of time that you may require while dealing with withdrawals.  I'm unfamiliar with the medical systems where you are but are there no therapists that can treat you outside in an office setting?  For specific mental issues only?  While you continue with your taper on your own?

 

Or is your question mainly about switching benzos?  I'm a bit confused.  Sorry.

Libs

 

Tryin' to calm down, haha. But it is hard. It's been a real tough couple of weeks.

 

Sorry, I just listed which med I was on as an answer to Nomorebenzos question. But if you wanna weigh in on if I should attempt a crossover to Diazepam, feel free!

 

Yes, I've tried 3 different therapists (I'm on my 3rd now), but none of them get benzo withdrawals or adverse effects at all. They all try to dig deep into my life. My life is fine, but it's the benzos that are ruining it. I need to figure out how to cope with the mental symptoms, or find an anti-depressant or something that will help me.

 

Feeling a bit better at the moment, though... so that's good.

 

AHH!  Got it!  Okay, I can't help you about the cross to diazepam because I have no personal experience with that, sorry.  You are correct, though, nobody can understand this as well as someone who has been thru it.  If you are in a large enough city ... there IS a therapist who has been thru this.  The statistical data on users would say so.  It's a matter of finding that person or finding someone who has enough clients with similar issues to understand.  Since we aren't even classified as a group, yet, in terms of long term withdrawal issues this may take some time.  but my GUESS is that it would be more helpful.  Make some phone calls, lovie.  Keep trying to find someone.

 

Libs

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm also having difficulty finding a doctor who knows much about benzos.

I would think a psychiatrist would be the likeliest choice?

I'm currently seeing a therapist at an outpatient drug dependency clinic and it's nice to have the support, but he deals almost entirely with alcohol or opioids and has no experience with benzos, and is also unable to prescribe.

I am trying to get a referral to a psychiatrist.

Best of luck to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What in particular are you guys hoping for with psychiatrists / facilities etc?

More pharmaceuticals? More opinions?

IMHO all the tools you need are buried in the posts on this forum and inside of yourselves.

There is no magic solution.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can completely understand and empathize.  In a matter of months, had to quit my job, make major life changes.  I have crossed over 1 dose to Valium of the 3 and am not sure about it as I'm only 10 doses in and even considering turning it around......having a lot of physical issues and some others.  You aren't going to get much help from therapists.  Good resources would be benzo coaches, people there for reassurance and some guidance - Baylissa, Michael Priebe, Jennifer Leigh.  So sorry we are going through this. 
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What in particular are you guys hoping for with psychiatrists / facilities etc?

More pharmaceuticals? More opinions?

IMHO all the tools you need are buried in the posts on this forum and inside of yourselves.

There is no magic solution.

My doctor is very uneasy with prescribing benzos, even to someone tapering. I just want a doctor who will support my efforts through the next few months!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can't help wondering why you would seek out a psychiatrist for a neurological injury.

 

The original post talked about wanting therapeutic mental health.  I took it to mean like someone to talk to about it.  I'm confused, I guess.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[81...]
I think we have to stop thinking of bwd as a mental health issue, it's a neurological injury and as such I'm unsure as to how a psychiatrist can help with this. I agree with Momof7babes, a benzo coach offers the most help imo. Psychiatrists will just prescribe more pills which may injure the cns further. A good benzo wise therapist could help with coping skills, which are essential in this horrible journey.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yea, apparently there’s nothing. My NP is sympathetic and letting me go at my own pace, but not super benzo savvy. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I know that the Benzos themselves have turned on me and are causing way more anxiety and depression than they’re preventing and aren’t giving any relief whatsoever. I started to try a crossover, but just a single mg of Valium threw me into an insane panic... so I know no matter how long I hold or whatever I do I will never stabilize.. and I know that C/T isn’t an option. Starting to feel suicidal and I just don’t know where to turn. A psych ward is just going to mess me up even more. I feel so trapped.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thats how I felt tapering for 5 years. To-ta-lly-alone. While freaking out. In the end, the knowledge that in psychiatric hospitals anything would become even worse - has saved my life. There was a point, I had to learn the hard way, being locked in such a hospital, polydrugged and abused, - when I thought "if I want to survive I have to get out of here and do it all alone". I had a bag in my sleeping room for months, ready to go into the next hospital when I would become more suicidal - well, and thats how I survived, having that bag under the bed. Which I never used.

 

In the end, you do not need a benzo- wise person, a person who would believe you and support you would be enough. I had a good help from a naturopath who had no idea about withdrawal, but she was such a pragmatic person and would never be so frightened that she would tell me to go into a hospital. She would react with "well, Marigold, you think you want to die - better take the dog for a walk and do that now. I will hang up the phone now. Call me when you are back". See? Thats the way it worked. I had to search a long time until I found her. And these days I did not have BenzoBuddies and I did not know anything about a proper taper, but you do! Maybe buy some more books from members here (there was a topic called books from bb members, like benzo free)? I know you need a person, a real person to talk to though. If I was you I would search for a therapist for behavioral therapy and make it clear what you need - coping skills until withdrawal is over. No discussions about so called "underlying issues", no deeper thinking, no deeper searching, just skills to survive the period of withdrawal. I think if you state clearly what you want and need this could be possible to find. Another option would be joining a group for people withdrawing from medication, no matter which kind of med.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thats how I felt tapering for 5 years. To-ta-lly-alone. While freaking out. In the end, the knowledge that in psychiatric hospitals anything would become even worse - has saved my life. There was a point, I had to learn the hard way, being locked in such a hospital, polydrugged and abused, - when I thought "if I want to survive I have to get out of here and do it all alone". I had a bag in my sleeping room for months, ready to go into the next hospital when I would become more suicidal - well, and thats how I survived, having that bag under the bed. Which I never used.

 

In the end, you do not need a benzo- wise person, a person who would believe you and support you would be enough. I had a good help from a naturopath who had no idea about withdrawal, but she was such a pragmatic person and would never be so frightened that she would tell me to go into a hospital. She would react with "well, Marigold, you think you want to die - better take the dog for a walk and do that now. I will hang up the phone now. Call me when you are back". See? Thats the way it worked. I had to search a long time until I found her. And these days I did not have BenzoBuddies and I did not know anything about a proper taper, but you do! Maybe buy some more books from members here (there was a topic called books from bb members, like benzo free)? I know you need a person, a real person to talk to though. If I was you I would search for a therapist for behavioral therapy and make it clear what you need - coping skills until withdrawal is over. No discussions about so called "underlying issues", no deeper thinking, no deeper searching, just skills to survive the period of withdrawal. I think if you state clearly what you want and need this could be possible to find. Another option would be joining a group for people withdrawing from medication, no matter which kind of med.

 

Thanks Marigold1, I needed that.

 

I just went on a run/hike up a canyon by my work with the intention of finding a cliff to jump off of. I saw the beautiful fall leaves and changed my mind. I just want to enjoy those leaves with my real emotions... and some day I will.

 

A detox center just turned me down this morning because "since I'm not abusing anything, I am not classified as an addict". I am sure that is for the best. Like you say, that would be a mistake, and I need to do this on my own.

 

I am sitting here at my desk coming to terms with the fact that I need to stabilize... as much as I can. I do not think my body likes the meds, nor do the meds like me... but I was feeling okay a few months ago, and I think I can find a dose where I can feel okay again, and then taper slow. I hope so at least. This is getting so hard.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thats how I felt tapering for 5 years. To-ta-lly-alone. While freaking out. In the end, the knowledge that in psychiatric hospitals anything would become even worse - has saved my life. There was a point, I had to learn the hard way, being locked in such a hospital, polydrugged and abused, - when I thought "if I want to survive I have to get out of here and do it all alone". I had a bag in my sleeping room for months, ready to go into the next hospital when I would become more suicidal - well, and thats how I survived, having that bag under the bed. Which I never used.

 

In the end, you do not need a benzo- wise person, a person who would believe you and support you would be enough. I had a good help from a naturopath who had no idea about withdrawal, but she was such a pragmatic person and would never be so frightened that she would tell me to go into a hospital. She would react with "well, Marigold, you think you want to die - better take the dog for a walk and do that now. I will hang up the phone now. Call me when you are back". See? Thats the way it worked. I had to search a long time until I found her. And these days I did not have BenzoBuddies and I did not know anything about a proper taper, but you do! Maybe buy some more books from members here (there was a topic called books from bb members, like benzo free)? I know you need a person, a real person to talk to though. If I was you I would search for a therapist for behavioral therapy and make it clear what you need - coping skills until withdrawal is over. No discussions about so called "underlying issues", no deeper thinking, no deeper searching, just skills to survive the period of withdrawal. I think if you state clearly what you want and need this could be possible to find. Another option would be joining a group for people withdrawing from medication, no matter which kind of med.

 

Thanks Marigold1, I needed that.

 

I just went on a run/hike up a canyon by my work with the intension of finding a cliff to jump off of. I saw the beautiful fall leaves and changed my mind. I just want to enjoy those leaves with my real emotions... and some day I will.

 

A detox center just turned me down this morning because "since I'm not abusing anything, I am not classified as an addict". I am sure that is for the best. Like you say, that would be a mistake, and I need to do this on my own.

 

I am sitting here at my desk coming to terms with the fact that I need to stabilize... as much as I can. I do not think my body likes the meds, nor do the meds like me... but I was feeling okay a few months ago, and I think I can find a dose where I can feel okay again, and then taper slow. I hope so at least. This is getting so hard.

 

You do the right things. Repeat this! When we are in the middle of the storm we doubt that we can handle it and know what's best. But there IS a kind of instinct inside our body and soul which keeps us going. It does not ease the pain, but it guides us and we can trust it.  :thumbsup:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You do the right things. Repeat this! When we are in the middle of the storm we doubt that we can handle it and know what's best. But there IS a kind of instinct inside our body and soul which keeps us going. It does not ease the pain, but it guides us and we can trust it.  :thumbsup:

 

Thanks again, Mari...

 

Yes, I feel like I am doing all the right things... well, mostly. I have never been patient enough to fully stabilize. Well, I don't think full stabilization is even possible at this point, but I feel like I need to leave notes for myself everywhere, that I need to slooooow things down.

 

But I have done MOST things right, and that is what is so damn frustrating. I do almost all the things I can do, and yet I just feel worse and worse. But that's another epiphany I had today... if cutting out sugar and all caffeine and eating super clean isn't helping me feel any better, then I'm going to take my vices back! It's not worth the stress of turning down a donut when someone brings a box of donuts to the office, right?

 

Holding and waiting and being patient will make me feel better... at least I hope so.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You do the right things. Repeat this! When we are in the middle of the storm we doubt that we can handle it and know what's best. But there IS a kind of instinct inside our body and soul which keeps us going. It does not ease the pain, but it guides us and we can trust it.  :thumbsup:

 

Thanks again, Mari...

 

Yes, I feel like I am doing all the right things... well, mostly. I have never been patient enough to fully stabilize. Well, I don't think full stabilization is even possible at this point, but I feel like I need to leave notes for myself everywhere, that I need to slooooow things down.

 

But I have done MOST things right, and that is what is so damn frustrating. I do almost all the things I can do, and yet I just feel worse and worse. But that's another epiphany I had today... if cutting out sugar and all caffeine and eating super clean isn't helping me feel any better, then I'm going to take my vices back! It's not worth the stress of turning down a donut when someone brings a box of donuts to the office, right?

 

Holding and waiting and being patient will make me feel better... at least I hope so.

 

Really you sound so wise and that is awesome. I think you will make your way no matter what like I did.

Its a game of trial and error and it keeps changing til it ends. Again and again you might find yourself in the situation looking in the mirror wondering like ????what??? or in deep sadness that it will never end and you did anything wrong. This is just how it goes.

 

Doing the right things does not make you feel better. Healing is not a nice trip, you know that if you have ever healed from a broken bone or something bigger than a flu. It always seems endless and its booooooring and scaaaaaaring.

 

You will find the right time for anything - if a donut lets you survive now, hell get that donut or 2 of them right now. If you notice that you feel worse after that consider to reduce the donats but next time. Being flexible is the key. And I hate it.

 

I can feel a huge strength in your words - hold on and move on! You can be proud of you.

 

Marigold

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...