What did you miss the most?

What left your life while you were on this journey?  What did you miss the most?  Has it returned?  By that I mean what part of your makeup was suddenly gone?

 

My humor left me, totally.  Humor was such a large part of my life and I missed it so.  I'd learned early in life that if I could make people laugh, I could get my heinie out of almost any trouble I was in.  I live on a small farm now and I used to write humorous short stories.  Animals are hysterical if you only pay attention.  The more you pay attention, the funnier things will happen all around you.  It's almost like a magnetic thing.  Attraction.

 

And I paint.  Well.. I used to.  I haven't begun painting again.. yet.  But I can feel it bubbling back up and my easel stares at me rather accusingly when I walk by.  Perhaps I'll give it a go, soon.

 

That whole first year of withdrawals robbed me of my humor.  I didn't laugh out loud for a solid year.  I rarely even smiled.  Into the second year, I suddenly burst out laughing at something my husband did.  Husbands are funny even when they aren't trying to be funny.  It almost startled me when I laughed.  I blinked.. looked around.. and then laughed again.  It was such a relief and a joy.  It was welcoming an old friend back into my life.  It took a bit more time before I could depend on humor being a part of my life.  But.. it finally moved back home for good. 

 

What do you miss the most?  What did you?  Is it back?  For me, it was humor.  If we can laugh again, we are healing.  I think, anyway.

 

Love,

Grandma Libble

My zest for life, absolutely. I'm a complete shell of the person I once was. If I didn't have my son, I probably wouldn't be here. It's been that bad. And my head. It never feels right.

 

"My zest for life, absolutely. " 

 

Yeppers.  I know exactly what you mean there.  I think anyone who goes thru this does, really.  All I can tell you is that most days mine is back.  I'm an old broad so my age has me sitting out on a lot of things I used to do anyway.  But.. at least now.. it's my choice if I want to stay in bed and read all day.  It isn't the dang chemical making me a zombie.

 

You'll be back, lovie.  I believe it with my whole being. 

 

Bless you and your son,

 

Much love,

 

Grandma Libble

Thank you!! That's so sweet of you to say!!

L, this is a big dose of the medicine we all need. Hope heals! Espy

Esperanza!  I adore you.  I hope you are having a really good day.  And if you are having an icky day.. know that the good days are on their way.  In the meantime, Much Much love!

 

Libs

 

Libble, good idea for a thread, thank you! I agree with you all, I miss my sense of humor. I was always light hearted and funny and that left completely. I had zero ability to feel or express joy. It's coming back and it feels wonderful! Yesterday my sweet hubby mentioned he loves hearing me laugh again. And I LOVE being able to feel again!

With compassion,

Carita

My humor left me too. But at 9 months off it’s finally back! Yes, I missed it so much. I had no personality  at all. I would sometimes force laughs, smiles and jokes to keep up appearances but I couldn't feel it al at all. Now I am smiling and laughing again. I am joking around a lot. The guys at work tell me I seem to be doing a lot better lately. I think it’s the return to my old self that they are noticing. I am noticing it too! I think tapering the Remeron is helping with this too because I think at 15 mg it was blunting my emotions.

Isn't it ironic that the one thing that would be the biggest help going thru this.. goes POOF, right when you need it?  Humor.  I mean.. some of this wd nutzo stuff is kind of funny.  I went thru a stage where I had horrible gas.  I was Mistress of Farts.  Seriously.  Not quiet ladylike oopsies.  Oh no.. Foghorns.

 

My husband:  I thought you told me that women don't pass gas.

 

Me:  Shut up or die. 

That’s not really ironic, Alanis. It just sucks. Lol. Sorry, like I said my sense of humor is back. I’m just breaking balls, as we say where I am from. Lol. I don’t know your age so I don’t know if you’ll get the Alanis reference or not. Haha.

Jack!  hahaha..  I'm older than dirt, lovie.  She was great, wasn't she?  Alanis.  I say WAS because her newer stuff isn't as good. 

 

Grandma Libble

 

Edit: I'm sorry, I removed what I had written, this isn't the place for too much of what I'm thinking.

Oh I though of something else miss. I miss being able to take a tylenol without double checking with you all that it’s okay first! Lol.

Quietquiet,

 

Oh lovie.  It breaks my heart to hear you are in such pain.  I know that any hope I could offer you right this instance will likely fall on ears that are closed in pain.  That is normal for what you are going thru.  I'm going to try anyway because there IS hope, angel.  There is!  You WILL be your true self again one day.  I promise.  If you stick with your wd plan and hold tight to the belief that the Light will return.. it will.  What we believe matters soooo much.  Believe in your full health returning.

 

I want you to do ONE thing today that pampers you.  I don't care what that is.  Bubble bath?  Put a comedy on the tellie?  Whatever easy thing you can do to lift your spirits.  Please do it.

 

So much love headed your way,

Grandma Libble

Jack.. your humor is definitely back.  Tylenol.. sooo funny