cant think of a subject

Hi everyone, I posted the following in my introduction, head is too messed up to navigate this site or find whatever. Numbness and weakness is worse today, everything is worse losing weight, starting to forget peoples/ things names, dificult putting sentences together, fumbled speech, typing this is exhausting.

  I quit cold turkey as I cant afford to see a doctor, they can be good guys but they dont get it.  Have an almost full box of 60 x 200mg quetiapine, took 50mg last night for sleep. together with antihistamine for itching/ hives .  Just want to cry now, its very difficult

 

" A little more than a week since my last dose of valium, a month off prozac both cold turkey.

don't have the patience to fiddle about with my profile just yet,climbing the walls.. its too much effort for me.

 

been on and off psych meds since my early twenties ,im 46 now. also a recovering drug addict, done everything but meth I guess.

I have atherosclerosis, had heart failure which required a triple bypass in 2007 ,fortunate to be alive, I was 34. the recovery process was hell, allergic reaction to the anesthetic which made me very ill. Was prescribed a month of oxy and non benzo sleep drugs to help recover.

 

So yeah, i have a weak heart with clinical depression and anxiety, which makes these withdrawals risky, I check my blood pressure and pulse regularly and its inconsistent. I have numbness and weakness all over my body, can cut myself and I wont flinch, even my eyeballs are numb, which affects my vision.

 

I work with my hands, tried use a hammer but it just falls out my hand, my fingers cramp painfully and don't have strength to hold on to it. My body feels alien, like it belongs to someone else, movements are uncoordinated, tinnitus, headaches, cramps, nausea, last night struggled to fall asleep as I broke out with hives, almost as tho bugs were crawling under my skin, scratched myself raw in some places.  night before I woke up hearing people talking crazily outside, only to discover theres nothing there. Cant stay asleep,bad dreams, terrible back aches, I feel like stuff this, its like you cant explain it you know, like you're going crazy, familiar places are foreign, everything is foreign, whos weird hands and feet are these. everything is scattered

 

getting impatient aggressive with myself as I type this, palms resting heavily on my laptop keyboard as its an effort to move my fingers around. Can't work, found it very difficult when I was on vailum anyway as the effects were there.  can't ride my motorcycle or my skateboard just shut myself away as I may hurt others or myself. Have 300mg of valium in my drawer, but have no desire to take any as I hate the stuff, then have to wait another 3 days for the detox to start again.

 

Glad I found this place, sorry Im ranting, but noone I know gets this benzo stuff, no medical/psychological/ psych  support in my town.

was in the psych ward about 2 years back but they took me off valium within 2 days, not realizing the damage its done to the cns. Went crazy then too, found another doctor, explained my situation and hes prescribed my valium since."

 

 

 

copied and pasted this my first post, will try sort my profile, thanks

 

"Hi, was prescribed and have been on benzos about seven years now. first six months, 1mg xanax twice daily and 1mg ativan at night, with prozac 20mg daily.

Was then prescribed Valium 5mg daily, bumped up to 10 mg daily after a short time due to tolerance, so yeah 10 mg valium and 20 mg prozac daily for the last couple years... stopped both drugs cold turkey just over a week ago, I know, a taper is better, apparently . having very unpleasant withdrawal"

I really feel for you, you have been through the wringer, please be careful with a CT and your heart history. I had no prior heart issues but I've had 2 strokes in bwd, due to a clueless Dr that CTd me,  then reinstated me, CTd and reinstated me again and then dragged me off on a way too rapid taper. 21 months off and still suffering. Please try and get checked out along this awful benzo road.

Shucks, you almost died, a friend told me just recently that he cant believe benzos are legal.. Seriously thinking about getting my ticker checked out. Ive tried to taper off before but end up taking a whole bunch after a few days in. It disables one, putting your life on hold and at risk. 

thanks for your reply, its encouraging

Noone really gives a damn, my benzo story is better than yours. And so it goes on Good bye

Did the psych ward take you off valium?

yes,after 3 days,the only psych ward options are limitrd got very sick, saw a different doc put me on again, script ran out, cant afford medical, government services disfunctional in my country, cant work, family frustrated, dint understand, becoming aggressive towards family friends everyone, pulse drops to 40 bpm, low blood pressure,unstable on feet dizzy, numb all over, painful cramps, cant eat, I feel alone as theres no support in my country and small town, managed to get my hands on seroquel from an aunt for sleep,took a whole bunch wanted to end it but puked it up.. will have to take my chances at the government hospital, i dont know..

So sorry you are suffering like this, I was cold turkeyed too and it is pure hell, for now just try and hold on best you can, you are in acute withdrawal, I promise this will get easier I just can't tell you when.  Feel free to pm me if you need support.  There are lots of kind souls on this forum who will try to help you through this. 

Thanks for taking the time to assist, really appreciate it

Hi...you’re about two weeks into a cold turkey...any lifting of symptoms yet? Sorry you’re going through this, tough way to go off Valium.

Blue, my heart goes out to you. I know you feel awful, plus scared and so helpless. I could relate to much of your story. I took benzos for 30 years and was forced to go CT off them. I did not start this journey in good health. I wont bore you with details but just know that they day I started my CT I weighed 85 lbs soaking wet. Weak as a kitten just born, using a walker to move around. I was a human wreck and mostly because of my benzos.

Fast forward. I had a truly bad wd. One of the worst. But I hung on and hung on and refused to give up. I was then SO paranoid of physicians I refused to see one, and that kept me from reinstating. I know I would have if not for that.

I am not sure how to advise you except to offer my support. BB saved me life, let BB save yours, please. Without all those drugs, you just don't know. Your health might be much better without them.

You might want to read the first couple pages of my Blog, Eastcoast's Trip Two". I tried to detail what I went through. You wll find out you are NOT so alone.

east