Author Topic: 2 years off now...  (Read 468 times)

[Buddie]

2 years off now...
« on: October 05, 2019, 04:09:04 am »
So when I was going through withdrawal, I remember reading posts where people speculated that those who were "healed" and who disappeared from the site actually were anything but and had probably experienced another wave and more symptoms later on. It was super discouraging to read those posts, and I always promised myself that I would come back to this site with full transparency to let people know what became of me.

To recap on my whole ordeal with benzos, I was on 2-3 mg of Klonopin for 3 years. I attempted to cold turkey but ended up in the back of an ambulance with severe heart palps (don't try this). I managed to taper over 4 months and successfully came off in September of 2017.

In my last posthttp://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=210192.msg2711617#msg2711617, I said I was about 70-80% healed. Now, more than 2 years off, I can say that I'm probably around 95% healed. In the last year, I've had one bad wave that lasted about one to two weeks. One. That's it.

My main and most brutal symptom -- insomnia -- will still bug me every few months, but I've never had it last more than a day now (and frankly, it could just be stress). I used to think after a year or so off, that the 4 or so hours of sleep followed by the fractured 1-2 hours afterwards were as good as it was gonna get -- that I had somehow damaged or rewired my nervous system in such a way that those hours were my new normal. And yet...even my sleep has returned back to the way it once was. I now sleep 6-7 hours a night just like I used to.

A year ago, I probably would've told you that there's some permanent damage from benzos. That yes, you could heal to a manageable level, but that all symptoms wouldn't completely disappear. Nowadays, I would honestly say that healing virtually to 100% is completely possible on a long enough timeline. A lot of healing I never would've expected to happen happened in my second year.

Feel free to ask me any questions and I'll do my best to answer, and as always, don't lose hope.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 2 years off now...
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2019, 04:30:09 am »
Very encouraging story! Thanks for posting. May I ask what condition you had that led you to take benzos?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 2 years off now...
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2019, 04:54:22 am »
Thanks so much [...] for coming back and giving hopes that are desperately needed!

Your success is so encouraging and I'm so happy for you getting your life back!

Did you have muscle issues like contraction, stiffness and pain, did you have motor dysfunction in any manner? If you did, what were they like and how long did it take to resolve?

 Thanks and best wishes!
[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 2 years off now...
« Reply #3 on: October 05, 2019, 09:35:30 am »
Thanks so much [...] for coming back and giving hopes that are desperately needed!

Your success is so encouraging and I'm so happy for you getting your life back!

Did you have muscle issues like contraction, stiffness and pain, did you have motor dysfunction in any manner? If you did, what were they like and how long did it take to resolve?

 Thanks and best wishes!
[...]

Tons. Muscle spasms and fasciculations were pretty common. Around month 6, my foot started spasming out of control on its own -- it would jerk around and my toes would bend in on their own. It was also extremely painful.

I think most of the overall motor dysfunction dissipated within a year. The foot thing only lasted a couple of weeks, I believe, but I've read of people with the same jerking muscles (different limbs sometimes) reporting it lasting for months.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 2 years off now...
« Reply #4 on: October 05, 2019, 09:37:04 am »
Very encouraging story! Thanks for posting. May I ask what condition you had that led you to take benzos?

Severe health anxiety.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 2 years off now...
« Reply #5 on: October 05, 2019, 03:00:22 pm »
How are you dealing with that anxiety now?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 2 years off now...
« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2019, 04:01:59 am »
How are you dealing with that anxiety now?

I couldn't give you a definitive answer. I have virtually no anxiety about my health anymore. I have always been a generally anxious person and I still am, but the severe anxiety episodes are more or less gone. I'd like to think that this experience with benzos made me a stronger person and that was the reason, but I'm honestly not sure.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 2 years off now...
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2019, 11:12:32 pm »
Very encouraging. I just tapered Ambien. I had terrible insomnia and I was very scared to come off this an give up my sleep but I did. I take two two items each night and it has helped me get sleep. I take 10mg cherry flavored melatnine and crush and let it sit under my tongue for 30-45 seconds to get into my blood stream faster than swallowing it and I take a 10mg magnesium as well to sleep. It's working and I have one of each for later in the night if I wake and can't get back to sleep. If I do I take the melatonin first around 4 ish when I wake and if I wake again with an issue I take the magnesium. It's working  for my sleep. Cold room as well and a sleep mask.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 2 years off now...
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2019, 11:15:03 pm »
Of course it made you stronger. If you have  health anxiety I would say that benzo withdrawal is just about the most intense exposure therapy you can get! Glad to hear you are doing well.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 2 years off now...
« Reply #9 on: October 08, 2019, 02:48:09 pm »
Great to hear you are well. Thank you for coming back and giving all of us more data that gives us encouragement and hope.

As a 62 male that is 7 months out, although feeling much better after my 6 month wave (wow, it hit hard and was awful) I am optimistic about the future. But I think many of us wonder how much more time will it take to heal, 9 months, a year, more....

Thank you for coming back to allow us to celebrate your success! I too promise I will be back at one year, two years etc....I know I am healing and will heal even more with TIME....its time that heals us along. Thank God for allowing us to finish the journey.

[...]
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.