Does your anxiety shut down emotions you feel about people ?

Hi everyone !

I feel my state is improving (1.5 month free from benzos), however I'm still experiencing hard anxiety crisis on a daily basis.

What bothers me the most is that I'm stuck with running thoughts about not loving my boyfriend. Well, we are not together from a long time so it would be totally normal to not feel "in love" at this point, but still it drives my anxiety crazy. My running thoughts looks like this :

- what if I didn't love him ?

- what is I hurt him ?

- what if my anxiety is a way my body found to tell me I should break up ?

- I was happy with him nearly each time I saw him and he is the only one who has the ability to calm me down. But what if I'm just faking it ?

What tells me it comes from anxiety is that I also have this "blurry" effect when I think of my mom, or my dad, or my friends. What is different is that I KNOW for sure I love them, but I still can't "feel" it in my guts.

What are your opinions about this ?

How do you cope with it ?

I really don't want to break up but stuck with the "what if I want to break up and not able to fall in love ?", that's insane. I feel so much guilt for feeling this, guilt for him because he doesn't deserve this.

He is aware of what he was facing when he decided to give a go for us... But I really want to punch myself for wasting the beggining of our relationship with this intrusive thoughts and huge anxiety. He deserves so much better than a broken person like me...   I don't want to fail him but this burden is sometimes to much to handle.

I wish I could just enter a cryogenic bath and wake up when I will be heal and start all over again !

Hi everyone !

 

I feel my state is improving (1.5 month free from benzos), however I'm still experiencing hard anxiety crisis on a daily basis.

 

What bothers me the most is that I'm stuck with running thoughts about not loving my boyfriend. Well, we are not together from a long time so it would be totally normal to not feel "in love" at this point, but still it drives my anxiety crazy. My running thoughts looks like this :

 

- what if I didn't love him ?

- what is I hurt him ?

- what if my anxiety is a way my body found to tell me I should break up ?

- I was happy with him nearly each time I saw him and he is the only one who has the ability to calm me down. But what if I'm just faking it ?

 

What tells me it comes from anxiety is that I also have this "blurry" effect when I think of my mom, or my dad, or my friends. What is different is that I KNOW for sure I love them, but I still can't "feel" it in my guts.

 

What are your opinions about this ?

How do you cope with it ?

 

I really don't want to break up but stuck with the "what if I want to break up and not able to fall in love ?", that's insane. I feel so much guilt for feeling this, guilt for him because he doesn't deserve this.

 

He is aware of what he was facing when he decided to give a go for us... But I really want to punch myself for wasting the beggining of our relationship with this intrusive thoughts and huge anxiety. He deserves so much better than a broken person like me...   I don't want to fail him but this burden is sometimes to much to handle.

 

I wish I could just enter a cryogenic bath and wake up when I will be heal and start all over again !

I had the exact wish when I went through this. 

As to your thoughts, IMO I would not make any decisions about my relationships with other people until I was feeling much better. My judgment (and I would generalize most of us are the same) was not necessarily to be trusted for awhile.

Hello everyone,

Just in case someone is roller-coasting throught anhedonia, I just wanted to let you know that my difficulty to feel emotions lifted these last days with no rational explanation.

My anxiety is giving me a break and I can finally feel happy, zen, or taking care of people around me. I'm back in honeymoon stage with my boyfriend, was super excited to see him again, and couldn't stop starring at him for the entire time he was with me. I felt this warmth sensation you have when you are surrounded by loved ones.

So yeah, definitely anhedonia caused by anxiety. Once you get rid of anxiety, you will feel again. Don't panic.

Hope it will stay like this now ><