5 years and 8 months: Inching closer and closer.

Just passed the 5 year 8 month mark and still getting tiny little glimpses here and there. No windows yet but I'm definitely feeling positive changes deep within. Have been for a while now but shorter waves keep slamming me to the ground. Not as hard but it is what it is.

 

Agoraphobia seems to be slowly easing up. In the past just the thought of leaving my house caused panic. Though I haven't left my house in over two years, it's slowly subsiding. I can answer the door much easier now and I can go outside to check the mail, mow the lawn, meet the mailman AT the mailbox without having life-altering panic attacks. Hopefully I can go for a car ride someday soon.

 

Food intolerance/sensitivities are slowly going away. High histamine and high glutamate would cause my already VERY intense mental problems to sky rocket triggering fits of demonic rage. It's easier to control now and I can eat more foods yet some still get me revved up pretty good but go away quicker.

 

On that note, benzo rage/anger is much easier to control. Broke my hand a few years ago and seems to be healing slowly. That or the nerves around the fracture have gone numb.

 

Focus and motivation have been slowly coming back over the past year or so. On and off.

 

I can exercise more but fatigue still gets me here and there. Doesn't trigger days long waves like it did before.

 

I don't speak much of my battle here anymore because I don't want to add to the misery. BB has enough of that already so why add to it. If I do post here I try to keep my focus on positive only. Too much bickering and arguing that none of us need. Hopefully I didn't jinx myself by posting this update. Never fails, when you post something good you get slammed, right? HA!! I know all this could turn on a dime and send me headlong into the thick of it again but I'm prepared. Wouldn't be the first time... Come on pain and suffering!! With all the shit I've been through I say give it to me, I can take it!!

 

Cheers to continued healing. I know we'll make it outta here someday. 

 

 

 

Just passed the 5 year 8 month mark and still getting tiny little glimpses here and there. No windows yet but I'm definitely feeling positive changes deep within. Have been for a while now but shorter waves keep slamming me to the ground. Not as hard but it is what it is.

 

Agoraphobia seems to be slowly easing up. In the past just the thought of leaving my house caused panic. Though I haven't left my house in over two years, it's slowly subsiding. I can answer the door much easier now and I can go outside to check the mail, mow the lawn, meet the mailman AT the mailbox without having life-altering panic attacks. Hopefully I can go for a car ride someday soon.

 

Food intolerance/sensitivities are slowly going away. High histamine and high glutamate would cause my already VERY intense mental problems to sky rocket triggering fits of demonic rage. It's easier to control now and I can eat more foods yet some still get me revved up pretty good but go away quicker.

 

On that note, benzo rage/anger is much easier to control. Broke my hand a few years ago and seems to be healing slowly. That or the nerves around the fracture have gone numb.

 

Focus and motivation have been slowly coming back over the past year or so. On and off.

 

I can exercise more but fatigue still gets me here and there. Doesn't trigger days long waves like it did before.

 

I don't speak much of my battle here anymore because I don't want to add to the misery. BB has enough of that already so why add to it. If I do post here I try to keep my focus on positive only. Too much bickering and arguing that none of us need. Hopefully I didn't jinx myself by posting this update. Never fails, when you post something good you get slammed, right? HA!! I know all this could turn on a dime and send me headlong into the thick of it again but I'm prepared. Wouldn't be the first time... Come on pain and suffering!! With all the shit I've been through I say give it to me, I can take it!!

 

Cheers to continued healing. I know we'll make it outta here someday. 

 

Wishing you all the best on your journey towards a better life.

Rockfan, happy to hear you're perservering.  It appears you have an indomitable spirit! 

Love to you rockfan1975, thanks man for being yourself and thank God for you in my recovery.

Congrats to you on making it so far in this journey! So glad you are seeing improvements and staying on track. Best wishes for continued healing!!

Glad it's getting better Rockfan. I'm kinda where you're at, maybe a little behind and I'm only 2 weeks away from 7 years since my last dose of Xanax. Still have bad anxiety most days though and deal with depression like I've never had. I feel changes, but they get hammered. Most days I still have to push to accomplish anything, like mowing my lawn.

 

Keep going rockfan, there is light at the end of the tunnel....albeit a very long tunnel.

 

All my best

Thank you for letting us know about your progress, rockfan!!! It's very good to know that you have more glimpses of positive things going on in your body/mind.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!!! :thumbsup: