I need help 😭😭😭

Last month I decided to go to a detox center and come off Clonazepam under medical supervision. I did a 7 day detox and by day 8 I was in the ER, felt like I was going to die. And that’s how I feel every day ever since. Now I know that I practically CTd  I’m barely functional, in bed all day. I’m a mom of 3, two of which are special needs and I haven’t been able to take care of them.  I called a non profit program called Point of Return, they have helped thousands of people come of benzos safely. I was told that I should go back to taking Clonazepam and that they would help me slowly taper from it as it should have been done. I’m terrified to go back on them, but I’m going through hell right now. Is it dangerous to start again?  Can a slow taper be the answer?  Will I ever get my life back?😭

Please! Anyone that can shed some light? I can’t do this anymore!!!!

Hi DelMar and welcome to the forum.

 

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  I hope it’s a little reassuring to hear that as bad as it feels right now and whichever decision is made as far as re-instating and tapering or continuing the c/t, the symptoms will eventually go away and you will have your life back.

 

Everyone's timeline is different but the first month is usually the worst in a cold turkey withdrawal. Things may begin to improve soon or they may take longer and there’s no way to predict how this will go for anyone.

 

Let me give you some links to start posting the the membership. Re-instatement is a subject that will elicit strong opinions. I’d read it all and then make my own decision on this.

 

Cold Turkey, Detox & Rapid Withdrawal 

 

Let us know if we can help you find your way around the forum.

 

Take care,

 

Challis 

 

P.S. The Ashton Manual is an excellent resource for information as well.

 

Oh dear. I am SO sorry you are going through this. Getting off benzos is difficult and going CT seems to make it a lot worse. I can say that because I was forced to go CT off Klonapin, Ambien and 2 SSRIs. That was in 2012. I felt simply awful for a year. My symptoms were probably very much like yours. They felt unbearable to me.

I am sure you thought that a detox place would help you, and I am betting they did not. I was forced to go into one by a physician. The place had NO clue how to treat me. Not a single person ever asked me about my symptoms. Geez, I was hallucinating, and my legs would jerk up suddenly, making walking impossible.

Do you have anyone at home who can care for your kids? That should be major for you. Are you back home now?

 

I have heard mixed reviews of Point of Return. Most said that they cost a lot of money and don't really do much for benzo wd.

 

DelMar, going ct off benzos is dangerous but that is what you and I did. I can tell you that withdrawal CAN be endured, but it all depends on how YOU feel.  You have several things to consider. Do you reinstate and start a taper? Or do you just endure withdrawal? That is entirely up to you. I would guess it all depends on how much support you have at HOME, i.e., someone who can take care of your children safely.

 

My heart goes out to you tonight. I know you are terrified right now. I was, too.

east

The decision to go back on and taper really depends on why you felt you needed to stop taking them in the first place? For me I was in tolerance withdrawal so going back on was and is never an option for me. I am sick on or off. It's catch 22. If you were stable on them then reinstating and doing a slow taper may be a possibility. What are your symptoms? Most importantly are you sleeping at all and able to eat?

I am not sleeping nor eating.  At least on them I was functional. I decided to come off after reading about the truth of Benzos. It scared me !

I am not sleeping nor eating.  At least on them I was functional. I decided to come off after reading about the truth of Benzos. It scared me !

 

A good decision to come off them, in my view. But...benzodiazepines can cause a strong physical dependence in a few months and suddenly quitting can lead to nearly intolerable symptoms.

 

Going back on and tapering is a good option in my opinion.

What dose? Half of .5mg? What is a safe dose to start back on?

I c/t’d at .25mg of Xanax and reinstated three days later at the same dose with no problems, just relief.  If that dose never caused you any negative reactions before this, I don’t see that it will now.

If you’re alone and afraid because you have children under your care, I’d call a friend to come be with you simply for reassurance...I don’t expect you’ll experience anything but some relief, but it may help to have support and reassurance from a loved one or friend.  We’re here for you but you may need real world comfort as well.

I c/t’d at .25mg of Xanax and reinstated three days later at the same dose with no problems, just relief.  If that dose never caused you any negative reactions before this, I don’t see that it will now.

 

I wonder why ppl mention the term kindling so much? I don’t understand it and honestly it terrifies me.  I’m getting pm’s telling me I’m going to regret it. That I’m putting my life at risk 😭😭

I c/t’d at .25mg of Xanax and reinstated three days later at the same dose with no problems, just relief.  If that dose never caused you any negative reactions before this, I don’t see that it will now.

 

I wonder why ppl mention the term kindling so much? I don’t understand it and honestly it terrifies me.  I’m getting pm’s telling me I’m going to regret it. That I’m putting my life at risk 😭😭

 

I would encourage you to ignore fear-mongering. There’s a Report-this-PM button if you wish to use it.

If you’re alone and afraid because you have children under your care, I’d call a friend to come be with you simply for reassurance...I don’t expect you’ll experience anything but some relief, but it may help to have support and reassurance from a loved one or friend.  We’re here for you but you may need real world comfort as well.

 

 

That would be amazing but don’t have anyone literally no one.

Neighbor nearby? I think you just need a plan since you’re caring for kids...not because you’re likely to need help but simply a plan so you feel less anxiety if you decide to take some clonazepam.

 

Anxiety is a major symptom of withdrawal so I understand your anxiety over this and being easily upset.  It’s to be expected.

 

 

I am now in a group on here withdrawing from remeron. I don’t know if I recommend it or not but I went on it and it saved me from the benzo withdrawal and I was able to go back to work within days. But I am now payong for that choice now as I withdraw and taper from the Remeron. But I don’t regret it. It allowed me to take care of my family while I get through this. Just understand that you will heal. Everyone is different. Some get help by going back on. Some get hurt by going back on. Some heal quickly and others slowly. I chose to use another med, albeit temporarily because I didn’t have the option not to be able to work, my family was counting on me. I wasn’t eating or sleeping even while on Xanax because my tolerance withdrawal was so bad. If you were okay on then maybe reinstate and do a slow taper.

To those following:

 

We ask those with advice or opinions to post on the open forum, not via PM. 

 

Differing opinions and experiences are to be expected. PM comments with advice about what anyone should or shouldn’t do can lead to fear and confusion as DelMar has expressed.

Please only do what is best for you. I understand people's opinions,  but this is your situation. If reinstating sounds like the right choice to you, do it. There's nothing wrong with that. C/t is hell. I was tapering before they c/t me off of 1mg and tapering, for me, was easier than this hell. It wasn't EASY at all, but compared to C/T.... it was manageable. And they tapered me FAST. They lowered it .5 every 2 weeks.

 

I didn't have the option to slowly taper.... Kaiser, who gladly overprescribed benzos for the longest time changed their policies.... they made me come off quickly. I went to detox because I had no other choice.

 

I am keeping you in my thoughts. C/t IS possible.... I'm on day 69 and see small improvements.

Hey there, and welcome to BB. 

It's so disgusting that detox centres and doc's believe people can be detoxed from these potentially lethal drugs in a week.

 

But please do not be concerned. You have a choice to reinstate safely, if it is done quickly. This stops blood-serum levels dropping too fast and potential complications from your rapid "taper".

 

This is what I would do, and have done in the past from an over-rapid taper:

I would reinstate at the lowest dose that you feel comfortable and semi-functional with.

Stabilise at this dose for around a month.

Then commence a gradual, slow taper.

Follow about a 5-10% drop of your dose every 2 weeks as per Ashton. Feel free to drop slower than suggested, but try not to go too quickly.

 

I allow my "windows" to tell me whether to drop or hold during my taper. I have sensationally stuffed my taper up in the past, so don't be too concerned about your bad clinical detox experience.

 

It's about going forwards that counts. IMO, as long as you don't CT or rapid taper again, you should be fine.

 

I don't really believe in "kindling" and that multiple reinstatements make you worse. If that was really true, I would have seized by now. I haven't yet. Reinstating might make the symptoms worse but in my experience, as long as you don't updose heavily, the withdrawal is exactly the same.

 

However, if you reinstate to a big dose, it creates tolerance and entrenches dependence, so only updose to a small level of your benzo that you were comfortable at.

 

Don't drink any alcohol during this either. I found this out the hard way. One drink sets you back a month and two weeks and causes a load of really unwanted s/x, including hallucinations.

Dave.

Hey there, and welcome to BB. 

It's so disgusting that detox centres and doc's believe people can be detoxed from these potentially lethal drugs in a week.

 

But please do not be concerned. You have a choice to reinstate safely, if it is done quickly. This stops blood-serum levels dropping too fast and potential complications from your rapid "taper".

 

This is what I would do, and have done in the past from an over-rapid taper:

I would reinstate at the lowest dose that you feel comfortable and semi-functional with.

Stabilise at this dose for around a month.

Then commence a gradual, slow taper.

Follow about a 5-10% drop of your dose every 2 weeks as per Ashton. Feel free to drop slower than suggested, but try not to go too quickly.

 

I allow my "windows" to tell me whether to drop or hold during my taper. I have sensationally stuffed my taper up in the past, so don't be too concerned about your bad clinical detox experience.

 

It's about going forwards that counts. IMO, as long as you don't CT or rapid taper again, you should be fine.

 

I don't really believe in "kindling" and that multiple reinstatements make you worse. If that was really true, I would have seized by now. I haven't yet. Reinstating might make the symptoms worse but in my experience, as long as you don't updose heavily, the withdrawal is exactly the same.

 

However, if you reinstate to a big dose, it creates tolerance and entrenches dependence, so only updose to a small level of your benzo that you were comfortable at.

 

Don't drink any alcohol during this either. I found this out the hard way. One drink sets you back a month and two weeks and causes a load of really unwanted s/x, including hallucinations.

Dave.

 

Reinstating might make symptoms worse?  That’s exactly what I don’t want or need.  I need relief and to be functional for my kids.  That’s really scary ! 

DelMar:

 

It's so important to know the Rx amount of the drugs you've  taken and for how long.  Could you please let us know by adding you medications an length of use to you signature

page under "profile".  It's gotta be easy because I even figured that one out!!  The length of time is really you've taken any meds is extremely important in setting up

a taper plan.

 

Thanks for you adding that information. 

 

Wishing you

Hey there, and welcome to BB. 

It's so disgusting that detox centres and doc's believe people can be detoxed from these potentially lethal drugs in a week.

 

But please do not be concerned. You have a choice to reinstate safely, if it is done quickly. This stops blood-serum levels dropping too fast and potential complications from your rapid "taper".

 

This is what I would do, and have done in the past from an over-rapid taper:

I would reinstate at the lowest dose that you feel comfortable and semi-functional with.

Stabilise at this dose for around a month.

Then commence a gradual, slow taper.

Follow about a 5-10% drop of your dose every 2 weeks as per Ashton. Feel free to drop slower than suggested, but try not to go too quickly.

 

I allow my "windows" to tell me whether to drop or hold during my taper. I have sensationally stuffed my taper up in the past, so don't be too concerned about your bad clinical detox experience.

 

It's about going forwards that counts. IMO, as long as you don't CT or rapid taper again, you should be fine.

 

I don't really believe in "kindling" and that multiple reinstatements make you worse. If that was really true, I would have seized by now. I haven't yet. Reinstating might make the symptoms worse but in my experience, as long as you don't updose heavily, the withdrawal is exactly the same.

 

However, if you reinstate to a big dose, it creates tolerance and entrenches dependence, so only updose to a small level of your benzo that you were comfortable at.

 

Don't drink any alcohol during this either. I found this out the hard way. One drink sets you back a month and two weeks and causes a load of really unwanted s/x, including hallucinations.

Dave.

 

Reinstating might make symptoms worse?  That’s exactly what I don’t want or need.  I need relief and to be functional for my kids.  That’s really scary !

It's completely up to you to reinstate and start a slower taper. In my experience, if you reinstate at the lowest dose of your benzo where you are functional, and do it within a 7-14 day period, then I don't see that as a problem. Some members believe reinstating after a CT or rapid taper make symptoms worse in the finish, but I actually think the withdrawals are no different to a first-time tapered withdrawal. I wouldn't recommend reinstating to a very high dose though, just a dose where you feel comfortable and can function around your children.

Dave.