I am massively depressed

I am officially 17 months off today. I feel absolutely terrible. I have really bad depression still. Didn't want to get out of bed today at all. Feel very little hope that this will get better with time. I have to start a new job on Friday and I don't know if that's adding to it. I also can't tell if it's my daughter is adding to it. What can I do at this point? These are all the modalities I've tried:

 

1. better diet

2. consistent massage

3. working out

4. various supplements

 

I have also stayed off alcohol now for nearly 15 months and I have basically cut out caffeine.

Did you get a script for remeron? Give it a try what do you have to lose?

I did get one. I need to go pick it up.

Boom,

 

I am sorry you have been suffering with the depression and anger for so long. If the Remeron doesn't work for you, you might consider Trazadone. I'm not a doctor, obviously, so I am not offering medical advice but I am a therapist and know quite a bit about psychopharmacology. Remeron is a tricyclic and a heavy duty med. It could be just what you need for your depression and to help sleep. I know it's helped others on here with their symptoms. If you find it makes symptoms worse (and I hope it doesn't), ask your GP about Trazadone. They prescribe it for sleep now but back in the day, it was used as a mild anti-depressant. It's mild and non-addictive and will help you sleep. I know you're starting your new job next week and I wish you the best of luck. Most GP's don't offer this as an anti-depressant but I have several clients who take it and I took it for awhile after my husband abandoned me and my four kids.  I was so depressed but I couldn't sleep and needed to function. It helped with both. And I was on it for 3 years and only took me two weeks to wean off. Of course, I wasn't in benzo hell at that time so I can't speak to that interaction specifically. Maybe others here could chime in?  Just a thought. I'll be praying for you. I've had to work this whole time so I know how hard it is.

Have you considered talking to someone? A therapist? In my experience, help for my depression didn't come in a bottle but with a face-to-face exploration of why I'm so danged depressed.

 

Just a thought. You've seemingly tried everything else.

 

Katz

Thanks, Warrior24. My doctor did bring up Trazadone as well and also on other drug I'm not remembering now. Maybe Trazadone would be a better choice. I am at home today doing some chores as my wife is at a training. My daughter started daycare today. Just seeing stuff that belongs to my daughter throws me into a panic of anger and depression. That's why I think it's beyond benzo. Why is my daughter such a trigger? I know I love her and I know she is an awesome kid, yet I can't feel normal when around her or even thinking about her.

 

Oregonkatz, I should have added that I've seen many therapists along the way. I've seen one for over a year now and it's just talk therapy. I saw another one from April to June and she didn't seem to be helping me at all. Just recently, I've had three sessions with another therapist and she is giving me some strategies but nothing helps with the depression and fear of being around my daughter.

following

anyone else had relief with taking Remeron ?

around Thanksgiving 2018 I started Trazodone for sleep. Something had to give as I didn't sleep much since I jumped in fall of 2016. It helped with the sleep but it seemed to make my mornings more anxiety ridden.  I was taking 50mg before bed and sometimes another 50mg around 2am. I'm now tapering off of it.  It's worth a try as it doesn't seem hard to taper from. I'm down to 25mg and i'll come off next week.

Middleson459--

thanks for sharing very helpful

I'm currently taking 15mg Remeron (lowest dose for depression/anxiety). I've said this in previous posts before, but it's been a life saver for me. It helps a great deal with the depression/anxiety from WD, and in lower doses like what I'm taking it completely got rid of the insomnia for me and randomly waking up at 3am from horrible nightmares. I now get 8 hours of very restful sleep most days of the week. It does have 2 major side effects for me: very noticeable weight gain and very strange dreams. Not nightmares, just very weird dreams. Unlike SSRI's it only took about a week to start really working for me. The first few days can cause some cog fog, but it went away very quickly.

 

Best of luck with the depression. I'm suffering from it too and it's horrible.

I feel massively depressed and angered every day about my situation in life. I have no brain left to think so I can't even pull myself out of it.. I got put on benzos after a back injury so it scares me I will do damage if I work out and loose the 40 pounds getting put on prozac put on me. I have no body or mind at this point.  I'm stuck on disability getting poverty level money a month and can barely afford toilet paper. I have no set career to go back to and sadly have no children in life. I see no point in life anymore.

At least you have a career and a child. You can heal and have something waiting for you.

I feel massively depressed and angered every day about my situation in life. I have no brain left to think so I can't even pull myself out of it.. I got put on benzos after a back injury so it scares me I will do damage if I work out and loose the 40 pounds getting put on prozac put on me. I have no body or mind at this point.  I'm stuck on disability getting poverty level money a month and can barely afford toilet paper. I have no set career to go back to and sadly have no children in life. I see no point in life anymore.

At least you have a career and a child. You can heal and have something waiting for you.

 

Hi sunlit10,

 

Can you get out for a walk? That's how I started. Just getting up every day and getting out. I'm now running and doing pull-ups in the park and it is helping. Been a long process for me!

anyone else had relief with taking Remeron ?

 

I was able to go back to work in a few weeks after I started Remeron, before that I was suicidal and went to inpatient for ten days . I am 9 months off after 14 years on Xanax and I am 100% functional.

wow that's awesome

I am on Remeron, only 3.75mg. Even that little amount helped me dramatically with sleep, and I believe with some anxiety during the day. 

 

Careful with trazodone, good for sleep but may actually increase anxiety during the day in some people.  It has a metabolite called mCPP which is anxiogenic, they actually use it in rat studies as an agent to induce anxiety. 

I am on Remeron, only 3.75mg. Even that little amount helped me dramatically with sleep, and I believe with some anxiety during the day. 

 

Careful with trazodone, good for sleep but may actually increase anxiety during the day in some people.  It has a metabolite called mCPP which is anxiogenic, they actually use it in rat studies as an agent to induce anxiety.

 

Hmm, that's interesting about the Trazodone. I'm pretty sensitive to things that cause anxiety, but Trazodone just knocked me silly. I was a zombie the entire next day. I don't recall the dose.

thinkstopthink Thanks. Yeah thats a good idea to walk more.  It's been so hot here but hopefully the weather will get better soon.

I picked up my prescription to Remeron today. I have 30 7.5 milligram tablets. I will probably start by halving them and see if it helps with sleep. I'm hoping that small 3.75 dose can help with sleep and then maybe help with the depression after taking them a bit. I don't know, guys, I am scared, but I'm desperate for sleep. I may wait until after I start my new job here next week and see how it goes with no meds, but my sleep has been up and down throughout this, and it seems even slight stress can make it worse. But I'm also horribly depressed and having bad intrusive thoughts.

Take the 1st dose right now. You have to try something.

Let us know how the remeron works Boomboxboy.  It sounds like it has helped a lot of people.

Take the 1st dose right now. You have to try something.

 

For real !

7.5 will help with sleep for sure and possibly anxiety. 15 mg is the minimum for depression according to prescribing info. Good luck

It's only 6:30 here.

I always take it a hour before bedtime.