Dissociation with DR DP disorder anyone else?

This is driving me insane. I am almost healed but this wont stop! My DR DP is insane. I have devloped at dissociative disorder. I have issues walking. My inner monoluge is gone, I have anphantasia too. My memory goes blank for days and even months. My husband is a complete stranger my dog and home is not for real. It feels like I am in a dream state. And this is all the time no relief. The world is grey I cant see colors. My inner vibration is crazy  often like a burning feeling in my body. My doc told me that Dissociative disorders can cause this inner tremor/buzz. Time feels strange,  it is often in slow motion. I have hard to understand things too. And these crazy question about evertyhing. Like why?who? when?what? And this disconnection from who I am and why I live etc. Disconnected from the world too. My body is not mine. The face in the mirror is not me...It feels like I am gonna lose my sanity. This state of mind is nuts :o

I have fatigue and lethargi too...severe depression. Places I had know before is strange I get very confused abput everything...

 

This is even symptoms that is present in MS. And I know w/d from benzo can mimic MS and other neurologic illness. And that dissociative disorders can mimic MS too. Can anyone relate?!

I am down to this symptoms and I am so AFRAID that this is permantent. That this is permantent after the damage benzo caused in my poor brain

 

Will this ever pass or fade away?  I have lost all my hope  that this will pass and I will feel  normal again

I can relate to everything you describe sundance, it is truly awful. I am so sorry it is happening to you.

 

Now, at 5.5 months off Valium I can still relate, but it is improving.  I (still) find myself moving in a dreamlike state, blank, my face unfamiliar in the mirror.  Derealisation still taunts, exhausts me.  It's bloody awful. 

 

It's improving sundance, and think it will for you too.  I don't believe the damage is permanent.  We will heal.

 

Dee

Yes, I can relate to much of what you said. I keep saying to myself, "when will I be back in the real world again?" I get glimmers of hope here and there, but it's so difficult to step back and get any perspective when there's a "PAWS elephant" on my back.

 

Wishing you wellness, Sundance.

Yes, Its been a constant battle to overcome the DP/DR, it comes in waves with me, at times the most

familiar things seem foreign, I have to say that's gotten a little better in the last couple of weeks hopefully

the healing continues sooner than later.

 

In regards to the inner buzz I'm living with a 24/7 brain buzz electrical sensation with head pressure

from behind my sinus to my right ear that's really horrible and a non stop distraction.

 

How these drugs are ever handing out in script outside of a hospital controlled setting is beyond belief,

so very dangerous and destructive.

 

Kindest Regards

Terry

I had derealization before the benzos. I’m screwed

I can relate to everything you describe sundance, it is truly awful. I am so sorry it is happening to you.

 

Now, at 5.5 months off Valium I can still relate, but it is improving.  I (still) find myself moving in a dreamlike state, blank, my face unfamiliar in the mirror.  Derealisation still taunts, exhausts me.  It's bloody awful. 

 

It's improving sundance, and think it will for you too.  I don't believe the damage is permanent.  We will heal.

 

Dee

I am 22 months off now and it is getting worse. I had a panic attack for a month ago and then it hit me really hard my husband become a complete stranger. My dr dp started in may last year and was on and off until march this year. Since then I am in this state 24/7.

 

Do you have issues walking? Weakness my knees are bending all the time. It feels like I am stucked in a bad trip or something.

 

God give me strenght. I had fight every singel symptom but thia mental crap is breaks me into pieces

Bump!

I’m in month 20 and am in the same boat. DP/DR not quite as severe, but can be at times. Unreal and tragic.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-benzo-free-podcast/id1453414606?i=1000445170675

 

See link

There are a lot of people that got over these symptoms naturally. Acceptance, distraction, exposure etc. Do you guys think we can have an impact on it during or after withdrawal? I was watching a video where a girl had it bad. Intrusive thoughts, shaking, convulsing. Same symptoms but not going through benzo withdrawal. I find that it’s a 1000 times harder doing it through benzo withdrawal. I’m reaching here. If we practice the same methods and get some results?

Oh my gosh, you explained how I feel to a T. I'm 70 days off Klonopin and I keep telling my boyfriend that I don't feel real and that everything feels fake. My physical withdrawal symptoms have improved, but this and my total terror about everything remains. I hate how scary my brain feels. It feels broken and weird and just.... ugh. 😞

Aren’t the meds helping with your taper and withdrawal?