Xanax and alcohol withdrawal/taper

Hi everyone I'm new to this site not fully sure how it works, i'm looking for some advice from people who have gone through this. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this. 

 

I'm a girl in my young 20s

 

I'll get right to my story,

 

I started drinking heavily at 21 years old averaging about 7-13 drinks a night I was also a smoker smoking around 1/2 a pack to a pack a day sometimes id go nuts and have about 20+ shots at a party no problem. honestly don't know how I was still standing maybe from the Adderall I took that was given to me. resulted in awful hangovers and vomiting. Well I CT'd alcohol after abusing it for a few months and it caused a major panic attack and out of body experience that I don't wish upon anyone, so my boyfriend rushed me to the hospital there was no alcohol in my system my heart rate was 196 my blood pressure was 188/127 I was CONVINCED I WAS DYING. I told them I had been drinking and they said I was just having a panic attack from it I didn't believe it I truly thought there was something horribly wrong with me. they sent me home with a script of 1mg of Lorazapam take as needed. Well I took maybe 3 pills over the course of a week and it worked a little but not enough I ended up not taking the pill and became frantic going from doctor to doctor trying to get help no one knew what to do they just thought I was crazy (which I kinda was) and sent me home with no advice or help.

 

So finally enough was enough I started drinking again because it was the only thing that made me feel better and not panic averaging anywhere from 4-14 drinks a night started feeling crappy again so I quit CT again not knowing that was what's causing my panic and anxiety still thinking there's was something horribly wrong with me. I did this for about 2.5 years total.

 

fast forward I got a new doctor and I told her about my panic didn't tell her about my drinking she didn't ask s she ended up prescribing me 1.5 mgs of Xanax a day which eventually turned into 2.5mgs at most (I would take more or less depending on if I was drinking or not but ive never taken more than 2.5mgs a day.)

 

Finally FOR REAL enough was enough I wasn't getting any better my work ethic mood and health was declining. had to get gallbladder surgery etc. I begged my boyfriend to take me to the hospital in attempt to get off EVERYTHING. and they treated me in the hospital for 4 days for alcohol withdrawal and Benzo dependence. They took my prescription xanax away from my purse for "safety" didn't ever get it back. which is fine. the night before and day they planned to send me home I started vomiting everywhere, huge heart palpitations, severe diahrrea they said you'll be fine its withdrawal and sent me home with .5mg of Klonopin 2x a day for 10 days.

 

ok.

 

as soon as I got home and for the next 18 days I was vomiting all the time lost 32lbs, didn't sleep for 6 days, had a slight fever of around 100F started hallucinating, getting boils on my face, sweating and muscle spasms like crazy, terrible mood swings couldn't handle any light sound touch or even smell. I somehow didn't get a seizure thank god. my boyfriend had no idea what the hell was going on with me. and it started to stress him out.

 

here I am on day 38 on klonopin and day 42 no alcohol told my doctor everything and she's keeping me on the Klonopin .5 2x per day and says im nowhere near ready to get off yet which is ok. I still experience (which is my biggest concern ) HEART PALPITAIONS. my heart will be normal then all the sudden its like a pause followed by a huge thump and sometimes it will flutter. will they go away? when I check my blood pressure at home its average is 105/71 my monitor says. im stressed out over the most minor things. my eyes shake, I cry a lot. somedays I have difficulty walking, I have difficulty swallowing that scares the hell out of me. I see flickers of light and stars everywhere stars are white and flickers are blue. Muscle spasms, racing heart just from standing there. super low energy even taking a shower can be exhausting some days. it feels like im on a roller coaster ride cause of the adrenaline I get sometimes.  im afraid to take antidepressants, I'm continuing to lose a bunch of weight(starting to become unhealthy) don't get me wrong I do feel a little better everyday however im basically bed/house bound about 70% of the time. i used to have so much energy working multiple jobs had a TON of friends always went out to parties etc. just in march I bought a house new car a couple of dogs and I can't even enjoy them right now. I have my own business now so luckily im able to take this time off and have someone close take care of it for me. I hid my party life pretty well. Everyone knows this isn't me. I sorta feel like im losing myself. I try to get out as much as I can my boyfriend will take me for rides which I can handle now (sometimes)    throughout all this I went to a mental hospital for 3 days willingly partial hospitalization for a week and a half willingly. I see my doctor once a month now who thinks ill be okay she's just really worried for me.

 

Anyway, how long will this last? im so so so scared? I'm also worried about my next taper because I truly want off these Benzos as safely and as soon as possible. please anyone with this have advice or suggestions. I don't want to lose my mind. but I feel like I am. I apologize if this is confusing or scrambled, I'm sure I missed some details, also I apologize if I came off negative in any way. im trying to stay as positive at I can through this.

 

Thank you.

Hi missbeach.  Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

 

We understand the way you feel right now is scary, but it is also temporary.  I can only make a guess because I’m not a doctor, but it sounds like the symptoms you’re having may be benzodiazepine withdrawal from the 2.5mg of Xanax you were taking.. I agree with your doctor that now is not a good time to start tapering the Klonopin she has prescribed for you.  The drop from 2.5mg of Xanax to 1mg of Klonopin daily is already roughly more than a 50% cut in benzodiazepine dosage and may explain the symptoms you’re having.  What you’ve described, while very scary, are symptoms consistent with benzodiazepine withdrawal.

 

Let me give you a link to begin posting to other members of the forum: Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

 

I would like you to add your alcohol (it is relevant) and benzodiazepine history to your posts so other members know this information when they reply to your posts.  To add this information automatically to each of your posts, go up to Profile, then Forum Profile, write this info in the text box and save it.

 

Let us know if you need help. 

 

Take care...it’s going to be okay but it will take more time to feel better.

Challis 

 

 

P.S. When you have some time, I recommend reading pertinent parts of The Ashton Manual for in-depth information about benzodiazepine use and withdrawal.

Thank you, I'm glad its only temporary. Wish I could just wake up and feel like myself again.  Its going to be a long road I think, hopefully not too long. thank you for the links, ill be happy to check them out!  ill be sure to add my alcohol history.

 

 

thank you very much

You’re welcome! Let me know if you need help posting the signature...I was so fuzzy-headed when I joined that I absolutely could not figure it out myself.