Complete amnesia

During my service in the military I found myself wide awake all nights crying in my room alone feeling useless, after speaking to the doctor he prescribed me zolpidem and sertraline... I loved the fact I could finally sleep. But what I loved more was the feeling it gave me when I didn’t fall asleep I ended up spiralling out of control spending at least 300 a week buying sleeping pills online got to the point I was taking zolpidem in the morning and then changed to diazepam to calm me down but I just became my own pharmacist and completely ruined my life, I beat up my step dad and now my mum and him have split up, I have lost my job in the army which means I’ve lost my house I am sleeping on my grandparents floor, I am more in control of my addiction now since my psychiatrist prescribed me mirtazapine but everynow and then when I feel like it’s too much I will take anything to tranquillise myself in all honesty I hate my own mind so much I love the fact I can take a drug that makes me turn my mind off... but I need help now, I’m in unpayable debt and homeless I just want to sort myself out I’m only 20 and I’m so scared of my own mind because it jumps straight to drugs whenever anything goes wrong in my life which doesn’t help because every decision I make is drug induced and not good ideas I’m not helping myself sorry for such a long intro but yes this is my story

Hey, it's going to be OK.  We can help you taper off your med, but it's usually an arduous process, and I think you need personal support. Many of us have counselors or psychologists to help us through this, not only the taper, but dealing with our issues. As you are dealing with many issues, I suggest you get all the support you can. The more support, the better, for all of us.

 

Read through our guides, that will inform you of how to taper and what to expect.Sometimes it takes a few tries to figure out what method and timetable is best.

 

This link explains the mechanism of benzo's, and is a great place to start self educating.

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=66397.0

 

This is a list of withdraw symptoms:

https://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/bzcha03.htm#4

 

Tapering is the safest, and most tolerable method for getting off of benzo's. Here is our taper info:

 

The max recommended cut is 5-10% every 2 weeks. Many of us have to go slower, depending on our medication and what we can handle. Here are the boards on tapering. Feel free to print out anything you wish, and share it with your doctor.

 

http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=56.0

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=145.0

 

In the forums pertinent to your circumstances, you will find other buddies going through their own tapers. This is a good place to ask questions, and receive guidance. This includes taper advice, and forums on other medications.

 

Again, welcome to Benzo Buddies, you have come to a safe, confidential informative support group, and we are happy to have you as a member. You can do this, with knowledge and finding coping skills.

 

Please take some time to Create a Signature. This will help other members understand your history so they will be better able to support you. Go to the top of the page and select Profile, then choose Forum Profile, insert drug history/timelines into the text box and click Change Profile.

 

We look forward to reading more from you over the forthcoming days and weeks.

 

Take care,

BB Team