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Finally done after 10 years


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I've carried benzos in my backpack for 10 years and finally go without them now. I have some waves of increased anxiety, but am learning how to identify, accept, and work through it.

 

I started taking benzos after my first panic attack 10 years ago because it scared the shit out of me. I thought I was going to die. The benzos masked the anxiety for the most part so I became addicted like everyone else on here. When the doc would no longer prescribe it, I turned to other methods of obtaining it. I have a family, kids, and career, yet had this demon on my back all the time. It just happened.

 

I went through a quicker taper than I would prefer and it was one of the hardest things I've been through. There were so many times when I thought I'd die, which fueled my anxiety even more. My brain was flooded with horrible thoughts, but this forum definitely got me through it.

 

At first, I tried to taper too quickly and went through pure hell and had to start taking it again. Then I saw a psychiatrist who switched me over to Klonopin to finish tapering. It was still a fast taper, but manageable. Took my last .0625 dose 3 days ago and feel pretty good overall.

 

I'm definitely not out of the woods yet, but feel stable and stronger. Will post another update after a month. Best of luck to you all and thank you so much for the support. I honestly couldn't have done it without this forum.

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A huge congratulations to you pamplemoose! Glad to hear that although you are not completely out of the wood yet, you feel pretty good overall! Looking forward to read your updates soon. Praying a speedy recovery for you.

 

Sending you lots of hugs and heartfelt prayers for a complete healing soon!

 

Blessings!

Pi236

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This is an inspiring story! It takes tremendous dedication to start on a tapering path and follow it through....congratulations! Take it a day at a time and you will continue to discover how strong and capable you are.

 

With encouragement,

Carita :smitten:

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  • 3 weeks later...
Sounds like you had to make pretty significant cuts during your taper as well, and you're almost finished! There were some really bad days during my taper. Horrible thoughts, heart palpitations, stiffness on one side of neck, headache, insomnia, etc. Getting down to .125 was rough, but then jumping from .0625 wasn't that bad. Everyone is obviously different but it still hasn't been that bad since 8/16. Sure, some days are better than others but it continues to get better. Tapering can put you in such a dark place but know that is not the new norm. You will heal. Try reading the book Dare by Barry McDonagh, if you haven't already. It REALLY helps me deal with increased anxiety without benzos. Best of luck. You're almost there and it definitely gets better.
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