Another Wave - Devastating!

Hi BB. I have been tapering via a slow daily microtaper since early March. It was quite difficult initially but it improved much in recent months. I was getting mostly windows lately. I try to make commitments to my wife and children and my elderly parents. But, then when I get hit with a wave, like this weekend,  I become nonfunctional and can’t keep my commitments. It is terribly frustrating and upsetting for me. I so want to be a good husband, father and son, but the waves make me unreliable. It makes me feel like a failure.

 

I some times worry they will lose their patience with me.

 

Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Absolutely.  It is a HELL of a ride.  Stay the course and we will have plenty of time to make it up to them.

Normal.

 

This is one healing process that is notorious for  being non linear. You can be managing, then wham! Everything goes fubar. Even people post withdraw get waves of symptoms. I myself am in a very acute wave myself, worse symptoms, harder wd, even some new symptoms.

 

It will pass. Hang on, knowing it is your brain making changes as it heals, and it is painful while this is happening, like any injury.

 

Practice self care right now, and use all your coping skills to get through this. I tend to go to Bayliss when this happens, her meditations are geared towards people in withdraw, and her talks are encouraging. It keeps the fear down.

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAW2oQe7UBezwClW_nPyP6A

 

Acceptance, distraction, and anything and everything that distracts or calms you is what you need right now.

Thank you baddove for that link to Bayliss. I listened to one meditation and it helped me tremendously. I will definitely use it again, especially when I get into a wave. 😁

How are you John? Any update?

Much better. Thanks. The wave only lasted one day, which has been the case for awhile now. Still plodding along. . .

Hi BB. I have been tapering via a slow daily microtaper since early March. It was quite difficult initially but it improved much in recent months. I was getting mostly windows lately. I try to make commitments to my wife and children and my elderly parents. But, then when I get hit with a wave, like this weekend,  I become nonfunctional and can’t keep my commitments. It is terribly frustrating and upsetting for me. I so want to be a good husband, father and son, but the waves make me unreliable. It makes me feel like a failure.

 

I some times worry they will lose their patience with me.

 

Does anyone else ever feel like this?

 

All the time. You are not alone. Hopefully they are understanding.

Absolutely.  It is a HELL of a ride.  Stay the course and we will have plenty of time to make it up to them.

 

I totally agree with what Leslie J said. I do not see how anyone can function normally or even at 50% going through this hellish process.  :'(

    John you can only do what you can do while you are healing. I feel like you do as well but then I have to keep in mind that I my body is going thru major trauma right now. You can only do what you can do. Keep in mind the things that you are accomplishing right now.  How many people in the world would be brave enough to taper a medication and go thru this hell? Not many. We all need medals.

 

Good luck

Absolutely.  It is a HELL of a ride.  Stay the course and we will have plenty of time to make it up to them.

 

Very well put