Please help. 8 weeks cold turkey and dealing with anger, rage and depression

Hi. I am looking for support regarding some new symptoms I am experiencing. I was prescribed Flurazepam for sleep for 9 years. I began taking it every other day about 1.5 years ago, and went completely cold turkey 8 weeks ago. I experienced the full gambit of withdrawal symptoms in the first few weeks: sever insomnia, sweating, panic attacks, severe GI distress, anxiety, depression, dpdr, bad myoclonic jerks when trying to sleep, and general fear of many things. I am now experiencing extreme anger and rage. This is scaring the hell out of me. I am not an angry person, and never have been, but now I am having thoughts of aggression and anger at the people who are helping me through this. I feel like I want to physically and emotionally fight them. Has anyone else experienced similar feelings? Please help. I really need some support. I feel stuck, and am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I ended up in the ER 2 weeks ago because of symptoms, was told it wasn't withdrawal, and denied voluntary admission to inpatient psych. Now I am second guessing that decision. I do not want to be put on a cocktail of meds, but I don't feel stable. My son has been researching withdrawal and is telling me that a lot of people who have gone through this say to stay away from psych wards. I just don't know what to do. I feel like giving up because the depression is terrible. Right now I'm hot and then cold, and the anger and rage scares me. I don't know if I should be put on meds, and I can't get in with psych for another 3 weeks, minimum. I don't know if I should go back on benzos and taper, or if I should continue cold turkey and grin and bear it. My PCP gave me knonopin, but after trying to take a low dose of xanax twice several weeks ago, I became baby depressed. I feel hopeless.

Hi Karolina, I have experienced everything you just described and felt compelled to reach out and tell you that these symptoms go away with time. I jumped CT off klonopin after 5 years of use back in September of 2018 and suffered severe episodes of mania, rage and depression for about 6 months before those symptoms began to subside. In fact, during acute, I was arrested for a road rage incident (imagine being locked up going through this!) 

 

My advice to you is that while you are experiencing these feelings, recognize the emotion and allow yourself to feel angry. Then let it pass, it will. Also, exercise is an extraordinarily powerful tool to dissipate stress/anger and has clinically proven benefits in repairing the brain and improving cognition.

 

Lastly, I won't tell you whether or not to reinstate, you know yourself better than anyone and are most in touch with much you can tolerate physically and emotionally. I will just tell you that I am a person who toughed it out and survived and those symptoms gradually dissipated. Also, don't give up hope. Life is so much better after benzo's, even better than it was before. Once you get through this, and you will, you will enjoy life even more than you did before. Like taking a warm shower after spending the whole day in the freezing rain; these lows give you an appreciation that was unattainable before this experience. My promise to you, having been through something very similar to you, is that the life after benzo's is worth fighting for.

 

Keep your hope. You are not alone, I'm here if you need support-

 

How is your memory/cognition? I just started a taper and i'm deathly afraid of this.

Add me to your list, because I had this same symptom. I was SO irrationally angry at one of my friends and he did not deserve that at all. I was also angry with one of my cats, for heavens sake.  I can laugh about this now but seven years ago it was not at all funny. I was clinging to life, like a person on a life raft. I was so  scared of everything, and my emotions were up and down and all over the place. NOT rational.

This stuff does go away. However, if you think you might actually HURT someone else, even a cat or dog, its time to get in person support.

east

It's gonna be rough..I've been there I straight up cold Turkey off xanax and alcohol. I promise it'll get better. Find things that distract you and do things enjoy hobbies. The symptoms you deal will vanish all of suddenly rather than thinking about it over and over. Personally rather dwelling on it accept it and say whatever lol just my benzo brain healing giving me discomfort.

How are you doing? I was put in the same situation in August (abruptly taken off flurazepam 30 mg) when it became unavailable. I didn't direct rage at anyone but at the situation I was in--so sick I could barely shower, unable to work, insomnia, sweating, panic attacks...so I tried what I call scream therapy.  I would go lay down to rest and would scream in the pillows to relieve tension and just get it out of me.  Just a few screams to get it out.  It's harmless, but you may want to do it when you are alone (it might freak out your family members).

Are you okay??? Please let us know! We worry about our friends who are in trouble.

east