Fatigue, anxiety, colonoscopy, and endoscopy

I had my first colonoscopy and endoscopy yesterday at 31 years old.  Both of my parents have GI issues (which I believe stems from their alcoholism, but that's another story).  I have experienced frequent diarrhea, nausea (no vomiting), and stomach pains/cramps for YEARS.  I finally got up the nerve to ask for a referral to a GI doctor.

The prep was not fun at all.  I was extremely nervous about being sedated because I have never been sedated in my life - no surgeries or procedures ever.  My anxiety and blood pressure were sky high yesterday morning.  My girlfriend was with me and tried to keep me distracted.  They wheeled me into the operating (?) room and it felt like everything was going so fast.  The anesthesiologist started to put the propofol into my IV and I closed my eyes because I knew I shouldn't try to fight it because I wouldn't win.  Through my eyelids, I noticed they turned off the lights, so I opened my eyes and thought "Oh, they turned out the ligh-"

And then I heard my girlfriend talking to the nurse and opened my eyes to see the clock in the recovery area.  I'm still tripping out on that.  But it turns out I have gastritis, diverticulitis, and internal hemorrhoids.  They also took biopsies from both ends, so I'm still anxious about that.

I rested yesterday, and my girlfriend made me get up to walk around a bunch.  But I also experienced extreme fatigue today.  I slept for almost 11 hours, then napped for another hour later in the day.  My girlfriend was angry because I didn't go to her friend's MLM "party" with her.  She said it was "just a colonoscopy" and I should be fine by now (she's had 4).  I do think I was still tired from that, but also from all the anxiety leading up to and after the procedure.  We're both teachers and have been off all summer.  I'll admit, I've spent a good portion of each day just laying in bed, with the exception of when we went to Hawaii for a week.  So she was frustrated with that and let me have it today.  She was so angry at me for being in bed a lot.

But I think it comes down to a few things.  Definitely the anxiety and depression making me feel exhausted.  I'm guessing I have some food allergies or sensitivities causing the GI issues, which in turn cause fatigue.  I haven't been exercising or eating as well as I should be.

I need support in getting on the right track.  I need to know it's ok if I have a day once in a while where I can just lay in bed and not be guilted about it.  My girlfriend has 3 kids, 2 jobs, and is taking 18 units this semester.  She doesn't have the mental or emotional capacity to be as supportive as I know she can be.  That's why I'm turning to you guys here.  The support with benzo withdrawal has been great, and maybe I'm just looking for anyone here who can help me figure out the best way to get out of this habit of laying in bed all day.

Thanks for reading.

Not, abut this:

I need to know it's ok if I have a day once in a while where I can just lay in bed and not be guilted about it.

I don't think staying in bed once in a while is a problem. Your girlfriend guilting you abut it, well . . . But you say you're staying in bed "a lot". Hmm. Sounds like depression to me. Avoiding life.

On the other hand, you've been through an ordeal. My last colonoscopy wiped me out. I was useless for  the whole rest of the day. And pretty shabby the next day.

And once school starts again, you'll not have that luxury.

The best way of getting out of the habit of lying in bed all day is to just get up and not lie in bed. Do something. Something that you want to do. Not something that your girlfriend wants you to do.

My taper was so awful that I was temped to stay in the house and not go out but I made myself do it anyhow. Drive, go get my mail, go downtown in the little village where I lived. Staying in gets to be a self-defeating habit, I think. I read about so many on here being ill, anxious, or depressed, and sort of giving up. It's easier to stay in than to go out.

So, my advice to you would be to just make a huge mental effort to get up and go out. If this becomes an insurmountable problem, then I think it's time to go see someone. A therapist.

I hope you recover soon from your colonoscopy -- it sure isn't fun, is it? And listen, internal hemorrhoids are no big deal. Ditto gastritis. Your doc will prescribe something for that. Are you sure you aren't worrying about what was found on the colonoscopy? Have you talked to your doctor about the results? That might make you feel better. No one's innards are perfect.

Anyhow, one day at a time. Tomorrow is an opportunity to change things up. You might even go out for a walk. 

Best to you,

Katz