house bound

about 3 times in my life I've been agoraphobic for years at a time lots of trauma in my life like finding my parents dead many years apart my mom was about a year ago.  i'm afraid these things will happen again i'm not doing good with stress my balance is so off  it's  like i'm listing to the left I cancelled my therapy appointment for today couldn't talk maybe allergies can't catch my breathe so taking my inhale.  I've tried gaba and other things for the stress but nothing is helping I can't become house bound because i'm alone no one to buy groceries I don't know what to do 

 

 

 

For the sake of our membership, all references to self harm and/or harming others have been removed from this thread. Please click on the following link if you are thinking about suicide, self-harm, or harming others: Self Harm and Ideation - Revised Policy

   

Oh my goodness, you poor thing 😔 I am so sorry..

hang in there! I am here to talk if you need someone to talk to

The inhaler may have a steroid in it that could make withdrawal symptoms worse... just FYI as I am NOT saying to discontinue but please be careful.

its albuterol sulfate does that have steroids

Cresc? Please let us know. Thanks!

according to WebMD it does not have steroids but it can cause dizziness I've never had a problem using it been on it for years

thoughts are with you

kachina, I am so sorry. You have dealt with some major traumas, and like most of us you ended up taking a drug that just made it all worse.

It is hard to figure out what is causing what when someone goes off benzos by any means or ways. Withdrawal symptoms are really weird and difficult to describe.

I was in a very similar situation 7 years ago when I went CT off two benzos and w SSRIs. Holy hell ensued. I had a truly awful withdrawal that lasted far longer than I expected.

What you have gone through is truly awful and I am SO sorry you had to deal with this. My heart is almost breaking for you tonight. I had several childhood traumas but finding your parents dead is way beyond that. The fact that you are now TRYING to heal yourself is truly remarkable. I know you don't see that now, but I personally thinbk you are a really amazing person with strengths FAR beyond what you currently think.

Agorophobia is common in benzo wd. I sure had it. I could not drive my car for a year. I had to depend on a friend to buy groceries. Because I was so poor then, I relied on food banks. I was so scared to leave my own house.

Eventually all of this got better but it took a long time.

kachina, I want to hear more of your story. I sense a deep hurt within you, just as I had ( I suffered childhood abuse. Not saying you did but other things can deeply hurt us!!) I cannot respond to PMs right now due to reasons I cant go into, but if you write me here I will be able to respond to you. And I want to, as I sense you are deeply hurting more than you said.

east

I have a history of child abuse sexual physical and emotional I need to put it in the past I need to heal overall

I had a few panic attacks in the last few days I've had a lot of problem's going out in public all my life it all got better when I was given lorazepam I stopped because I went to detox for alcohol when I got out the lorazepam was at the pharmacy I choose not to take it if I call my doctor tomorrow he would probably give it to me i'm not able to  function as I am i'm all alone on disability I have no friends my sister is to busy with her life to help me she's has her own health problems as does my niece I need to be able to go to appointments and go to grocery store I have never been told by my primary care that I can't have it its the med nurse where I go to counseling that says she won't give it to me I was so normal on the lorazepam no problems I had memory problems when I came off of them I couldn't remember my password to this computer I want to put the pain in my life behind me I never want to drink again it will kill me

about 3 times in my life I've been agoraphobic for years at a time lots of trauma in my life like finding my parents dead many years apart my mom was about a year ago.  i'm afraid these things will happen again i'm not doing good with stress my balance is so off  it's  like i'm listing to the left I cancelled my therapy appointment for today couldn't talk maybe allergies can't catch my breathe so taking my inhale.  I've tried gaba and other things for the stress but nothing is helping I can't become house bound because i'm alone no one to buy groceries I don't know what to do 

 

 

 

For the sake of our membership, all references to self harm and/or harming others have been removed from this thread. Please click on the following link if you are thinking about suicide, self-harm, or harming others: Self Harm and Ideation - Revised Policy

 

 

Can you get them through a grocery store to be delivered? That's what I did when I was agoraphobic. Safeway had a way of doing it. I don't know if you have a Safeway in your area, though. I just ordered the groceries online and had someone deliver them.

 

I'm SO SORRY you're going through all this - GOOD LUCK to you!!! :'(

Thank You for your concern I get my check tomorrow I want to try and go to the grocery store but i'm very dizzy almost passed out in my room last night my blood pressure is low 95/55 so i'm trying to go slow I know people will be upset with me but I put a call into my primary care doctor and asked how he felt about my going back on my lorazepam He worked at Pembroke Hospital for years a Mental Hospital in mass. where I live chances are he won't even call me back 

make sure you drink enough fluids etc

kachina, my heart goes out to you tonight. When I started this journey I was quite poor. My only income was Social Security. I used to get my food from food banks. Once benzo wd hit me I was completely unable to leave my house or drive so I could get food. I lived on whatever I had up in my kitchen cupboards.

I don't know your whole story but would encourage you NOT to reinstate. This would only cause you a lot more trouble down the road. But I also know a lot of us consider doing that. Benzo withdrawal can feel SO awful, we do consider reinstating to sort of end it. Unfortunately,, reinstating will NOT help you. You will immediately be re-addicted, and may soon require bigger doses to feel okay.

 

I used to live in Cambridge Mass. Loved it up there and wish I was still there. I worked at Mt Auburn Hospital in Watertown for 9 years .I now live in Florida and dislike it immensely.

 

What I know of your story sounds very much like mine. I too was all alone when I went CT off benzos and SSRIs. Because I had taken benzos for thirty years straight, my cold turkey was really awful. I still don't know how I got through it except true grit and my deep paranoia of doctors back then. I could not bring myself to SEE a doctor in order to reinstate. I am now glad I did not.

 

kachina, some of us, including me, are ":addictive personalities." I have had issues with alcohol. Then it was benzos. zOf the two drugs, benzos were FAR worse for me. Getting off benzos was the most difficult thing I ever did. But also the BEST thing I ever did, just for me.

Please don't reinstate. Let us try to help you get through benzo wd, and emerge into a whole new, healthier person.

east

east, well stated !  thanks

Dear East My Aunt who is 94 is in the hospital she was my second Mother she taught me so much now I can't even help her I am in this hell I can't even help myself I'm dirty I haven't had a bath in so long I just go to the bathroom as fast as I can it was 90 degrees in the apartment I have to get to a grocery store somehow I'm so scared I have to drink and eat my blood pressure is low I have to take insulin 4 times a day I'm so sorry but If Dr. Coakley calls I'm going back on them I don't think he'll call I'll have to beg like every time before I should have changed doctors a long time ago even the nurse I see from counseling never called me back my friend says it's all about licensing they don't want to lose there's so they just hang you out to dry she is a nurse still but got hurt in a really bad car accident she lives in Quincy so she asked if I wanted her to come down I told her no She is in constant pain and in pain from losing her parents and like me has a sister who doesn't and wont understand for me to survive this I need the help of some medicine I know you all don't believe in them but I don't care if I spend my whole on them as long as they help me function I miss my mom and dog kachina I did for my mom and now I can't even do for myself East I have lived a life of hell for to long when I was on benzo I got to go to concerts in Boston by myself and Springfield too I drove to West Roxbury and Canton for concerts took My aunt to some and my sister too I don't go out in public because I've been made fun of all my life I'm a big person  But had weight lose surgery so I'm 160 pounds lighter but my stomach is still small that's why I have to be careful with insulin and food if I have a low I can't eat as much as a normal person  I'ts just scary to be me and now I feel helpless and I was always the big strong girl I could hold myself up after drinking and go to the bathroom and have a bath go to the grocery store take care of myself so now i'm sober 3 months off benzos too but I can't take care of myself what about quality of life I've had diabetes for 24 years my liver is in trouble and I have pancreatitis I never want to drink again but I what to be able to visit the family I have left I hadn't seen my great niece and my family in 2 days they asked me to go with them to the hospital I was so scared I would fall I took my cane because I almost passed out on my bedroom floor last night it seems like the medical community has turned there backs on a problem they created here take this pill  now we decided it's bad for you you can't have it anymore but we're not going to help you