NEED emotional support. Struggling bad.

I am doing a slow tape of klonopin after being on it 30 or more years.  I started at 3mg or 3.5mg on bad days.  I am down to 2.70 after one year.  I’m having trouble with depression right now.  No interest, no ambition, no desire to do a thing.  I have 2 fears.  1) this could not possibly be related to Klonopin 2) I can’t possibly get better from this.  I also have anxiety on and off.

 

I know when a person is ‘down’ they their mind plays tricks on them.  Could I PLEASE as many people as want to, write some encouragement to me?  I feel so scared that there is no end to his.

 

 

Sincerely,

 

Berg

Hello Cberg

 

I am sorry you are struggling right now, I had depression and anxiety, I know how scary this is. Withdrawal is a tough road, but it will get easier,  keep moving forwards.  Distract from the symptoms, and keep distracting, these bad times will not last. 

 

Also, check out the Anxiety board, you can connect with others who may be able to offer some ideas and help.

 

Anxiety     

 

Stay positive, It will get better.

 

Magrita 

 

Hi Cberg,  Stay on the path and remember that it probably is the benzo causing the depression and anxiety.  I read this all the time on this forum.  People usually improve in both areas as they begin to heal.  I know that is the case for me.  The dark depression is gone for the most part.  Anxiety is with me but nothing like it was thru acute or when I hit tolerance.  My anxiety now seems to be related to cortisol surges.  The other is just regular life anxiety that I can now deal with.  Distract out of it if ya can.  Do something kind for yourself.  Self care is not selfish.  Hang in there.

Welcome..

 

Total lack of motivation, esp the ability to actually start anything, has been a huge WD issue for me.. 

Not just My actual benzo WD, but other meds too, and I didnt get any anxiety until much later in the process.. I recently did an anxiety and depression workshop (more for the socialising aspects than anything) But I ticked every box to the max.. Yet im NOT depressed beyond what is normal for my situation, if even that..

There is a very good chance its the chemical imbalances of WD and that like me It will get better as you heal...

I sum my situation up as -“I have no functional Reward for Effort chemistry”..  That is the chemistry that the body uses going from its natural state of conservation, to energy expenditure.. Ie, to “hunt and gather”, or be productive.. Possibly even down to relationships and even digestion, -But thats starting to get complicated...  For me, I really have to push when initiating doing something, then it gets a bit easier...

At the good points in my tapering this problem has also reduced..

 

Hope that helps a little if you relate...

 

I just realized I never thanked anyone for their beautiful helpful replies. I am so very sorry.  Life just got in my way.  Have a physically disabled daughter and she had several big surgeries.  Again so sorry, and I hope you are all doing better.  I”m a bit better, but it’s up and down, up and down. 

 

 

 

 

 

Cb

Hello Cberg

 

I am sorry you are struggling right now, I had depression and anxiety, I know how scary this is. Withdrawal is a tough road, but it will get easier,  keep moving forwards.  Distract from the symptoms, and keep distracting, these bad times will not last. 

 

Also, check out the Anxiety board, you can connect with others who may be able to offer some ideas and help.

 

Anxiety     

 

Stay positive, It will get better.

 

Magrita 

 

I'm sorry u feel this way. I have very strong depression that I dint know how to  live anymore. Its holds me since a few days. I also have no clue if its due to benzo. But i had depression on and off  since many years do in my case its very difficult to know.  If u are not so prone to depression then its probably benzo.

I feel so bad that i dint know how to describe it. So hopless, feeling nothing has sense, feeling that nothing and nobody can help me, so bad. I have no words.  I dint know how much of this one can survive. Mental pain is real. I think it hurts more then physical pain. And the feeling of no hope is devastating. I think i ask my Doc for antidepressants. I was benzo free from march to June and antidepressant free. Panic attacks came and I'm on benzo again. It took me 2 years to go off benzo but with help of sertraline. It was easier. Now i have no clue if its benzo or real depression.

Did u suffer depression in ur life? How many days u feel like this? I think that if u feel so bad for more than 3 days then u need help. I dint know how strong ur depression is but i cant stand it anymore and will not take it for much longer so i know it doesn't meter if its from benzo or not, i need antidepressants to survive it.