Author Topic: Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.  (Read 4012 times)

[Buddie]

Hey Dave,

i have never been on benzos, but i took lots of ADs for the periods of 10-15 days despairly and never tapered them(CT), i have been far away 2 months from them and  i am on mirtazapine  daily tapering now.

I am now living such symptoms my brain has a traffic that some electricity signals replace from one point to another, i dont have a fever but my brain has some heat more than usual. The others you know about it, the feeling of lose self control, stimulated nerves on the body that gives anxiety(esp. Face,arm,throat etc).

Did you live such symptoms? Are these normal. I try to plan 15 mg remeron DMT in 100 days. What do you say about them? Thank you
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[Buddie]

[...], hey.

How long have you been on the Mirtazapine? And that is the only medication you are on? It sounds like you have been on several ADs in very short-order. Drawing back on my own experience (because I am not a medical professional), it sounds like your nervous system is sensitized based on the symptoms you are experiencing. I would consider a much slower taper from the Mirtazapine in order to allow your nervous system to stabilize between cuts. I personally cut no more than 10% my Mirtazapine dose every 30 days, and held if I did not feel stable enough to cut. It took longer to get off, but I didn't experience severe withdrawal symptoms because of that caution I exercised.

Hang in there,

Dave
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[Buddie]

Dave,

Congratulations for breaking free and not only reclaiming your life but getting to a happier one.  Itís so very special that you came back to share your success and experience.  Sincere thanks for doing so.  [...] imagine that it would be something youíd want to leave in your past, once itís over and why so many donít come back to report how great life is.  So thank you so, so much for sharing with us.

Youíve given me hope and inspiration.  Iím so sorry you had to go through all of this and spent so much of your life drugged.  I empathize greatly.  Have been polydrugged for 25 years starting at age 19.  Crawling out of it slowly but steadily.  The benzo tolerance, CT and now taper  is the hardest thing Iíve ever had to go through.   Last drug to go!  So happy for your freedom and to hear it really can be and is better on the other side! 

Best Wishes and Big Love,

[...] ❤️
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[Buddie]

Thank you Dave for sharing your wonderful success story. It means more to me than I have words available to say. Many blessings to you and enjoy a beautiful life that you so deserve!
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[Buddie]

Hello Dave,
Thank you so much for taking the time to come back and share your well written and detailed success story. Also thank you for responding to all the questions posted by those of us who are still struggling; your answers are really very helpful and invaluable.  I am sorry you were poly drugged  at an earlier age and suffered a lot from these dangerous drugs.  With your determination to get well, you are now on the other side enjoying your freedom and healthy life. Congratulations and I am so very happy for you.

My sincere thanks again for giving us inspiration and hope that we will also heal and attain recovery when the right time comes.

Blessings!
[...]
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[Buddie]

[...], [...], [...], thank you for the morning blast of congratulations, blessing, hugs, love, and compassion. I feel most fortunate to start my day with these messages. :)

Without question, withdrawal was the most difficult challenge of my life. There were so many times I felt completely alone and I felt broken beyond broken. I was, in my mind, absolutely certain that somehow some particular aspect of my withdrawal - be it the long term nature of use, the mismanagement of my taper, or the sheer ferocity of my symptoms - had ďruled me outĒ for healing. I am so thankful I was wrong.

Iím thankful to be able to share my experience. There is so much reason to have hope and even more, to expect healing. Our nervous systems are amazing in their ability to heal. Our challenge is to endure as best we can and hang in there both when the waves crash in, and recede.

You know, I have this kind of crazy work meeting coming today that before withdrawal, and certainly during withdrawal, would have been impossible. I am not completely and utterly without anxiety. But I have that mechanism back in place that keeps the anxiety within a normal level. And with messages of positivity like yours, it is quelled even more. So Iíll head into the day like that :)

Hang in there all,

Dave

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[Buddie]

THANK YOU [...]!  And everyone else who has contributed to this thread in such an honest, direct way...many familiar names whose journeys have made my heart break at times, and comforted me knowing I'm not alone these last eight months.  I needed this so bad today! 

You've given me more hope today for healing than I have ever had!  I am so glad you came back to tell your story!  Sad to see you were edited, but I understand.  There are so many sx that go untalked about, that can make us feel like so incredibly isolated and alone.

 :thumbsup: to all of us!
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[Buddie]

[...], hello.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read, and for writing. I am only too happy if this lent some comfort to you on a day you needed it. :) It's such a tremendous, all-encompassing and simultaneously intense and painful journey. But there is a finish line. I never thought it would come for me, but it has. And I know it will come for you as well with time and diligence, and by taking good care of your mind and body to facilitate the healing that is already happening.

The editing of the thread is understood. In fact after the first edit was made, I requested a second of my own accord as I recognize that certain topics can be triggering and difficult to be subjected to in the fragile states that withdrawal puts us in. I had very intense intrusive thoughts and I think it can probably be left at that. I only want people to know they are so, so, sooooooo not alone in dealing with that symptom if they are. And that recovery is truly within reach, even from the lowest and darkest states.

Hang in there you!  :)

Dave
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[Buddie]

You have no idea how much your story has helped me today. Iím suffering so much on my taper and these posts help to keep me alive.

Thank you SO much. This is a beautifully written story and [...] tell you suffered immensely. I LOVE the parts that say bits of you died off but in a good way... thatís how I view withdrawal too.

Thank you so so so much. We need more of these stories.

Can I ask what made you hesitate to write your success story in the first place? Is it just because you has forgotten about withdrawal?

❤️
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[Buddie]

[...], hey.

I'm thankful my story helped you today. :) Thank you for checking in, for taking the time to read it. Quite honestly, anything anyone going through this can glean from my own struggles adds value to my having gone through it. It is a dividend that can be paid forward to others like you. That feels like a gift to me.

I felt so lost and so alone during withdrawal. Life is a rough room as it is. Being human is always throwing us challenges. During withdrawal, I literally felt that pieces of me were being chisled off. And not in small, refining pieces. I quite honestly felt like I was losing myself in massive chunks. And at the time, I really mourned that. But then...

Healing started happening. And I felt like pices of me were being added back. Except they weren't the same. They were new as a result of the hardship I endured. They seemed stronger, more rooted in appreciation, more pliable, more attentive to detail. It's hard to admit it sometimes, but there are some end-results of having gone through withdrawal that I am grateful for.

When I was fairly certain benzo withdrawal had ended a few years ago, I hesitated to write the success story because I still feared that things would fall apart again. I was uncertain. It was like standing on new legs. Funny enough, long before I was well, when I was still in the pit of benzo withdrawal, I wrote a success story as a form of postive forward-thinking. I visualized what healing might be like and wrote the story from that perspective. But when I truly was healed, insecurity over whether "is this healing real?" caused me to pause.

And then, well, I started fully living again. Not being bound by taking the drugs themselves, and not being bound by withdrawal, I was able to advance in my career, I was able to go to restaurants and performances again, I was able to socialize and exercise, and time did what it does; kept on moving and shaking.

Someone sent me a [...] a while back. I hadn't been on the site in years. And that person told me that at some point, I should really consider writing my success story. I wanted to do that. For a chronicling of my own recovery, in addition to putting it out there for other people to consider as they make their own ways to better days.

They'll come, the better days. :)

Hang in there,

Dave
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.