Does sleep ever come back?

Have I caused irreparable damage to my sleep center in my brain? I haven’t got 7-8 hours of natural, restorative sleep since quitting and I’m afraid if I’ll ever sleep normally again.

 

14.5 months off now and I can’t believe less than two weeks could cause such havoc. I’m so desperate for my sleep to come back and losing faith it ever will.

Are you back to baseline from the mag reaction?

 

It took me until the 18 month mark in my original withdrawal to get normal sleep again

Are you back to baseline from the mag reaction?

 

It took me until the 18 month mark in my original withdrawal to get normal sleep again

 

Yes I believe so. Thank goodness.

 

Original withdrawal?

Are you back to baseline from the mag reaction?

 

It took me until the 18 month mark in my original withdrawal to get normal sleep again

 

Yes I believe so. Thank goodness.

 

Original withdrawal?

 

That’s good to hear!

 

Yeah I had to CT 3mg Ativan 4.5+ years ago

Are you back to baseline from the mag reaction?

 

It took me until the 18 month mark in my original withdrawal to get normal sleep again

 

Yes I believe so. Thank goodness.

 

Original withdrawal?

 

That’s good to hear!

 

Yeah I had to CT 3mg Ativan 4.5+ years ago

 

Oh my, I’m sorry. How’s your recovery been?

I was 90% recovered by four years and then used a lightbox which sent me back to acute

 

After about 4 months I was 80% recovered again and decided F it I’ll quit smoking cigarettes

 

Now I’m in another setback lol

 

Life is good

Ashtons manual

 

Insomnia, nightmares, sleep disturbance. The sleep engendered by benzodiazepines, though it may seem refreshing at first, is not a normal sleep. Benzodiazepines inhibit both dreaming sleep (rapid eye movement sleep, REMS) and deep sleep (slow wave sleep, SWS). The extra sleep time that benzodiazepines provide is spent mainly in light sleep, termed Stage 2 sleep. REM and SWS are the two most important stages of sleep and are essential to health. Sleep deprivation studies show that any deficit is quickly made up by a rebound to above normal levels as soon as circumstances permit.

 

In regular benzodiazepine users REMS and SWS tend to return to pre-drug levels (because of tolerance) but the initial deficit remains. On withdrawal, even after years of benzodiazepine use, there is a marked rebound increase in REMS which also becomes more intense. As a result, dreams become more vivid, nightmares may occur and cause frequent awakenings during the night. This is a normal reaction to benzodiazepine withdrawal and, though unpleasant, it is a sign that recovery is beginning to take place. When the deficit of REMS is made up, usually after about 4-6 weeks, the nightmares become less frequent and gradually fade away.

 

Return of SWS seems to take longer after withdrawal, probably because anxiety levels are high, the brain is overactive and it is hard to relax completely. Subjects may have difficulty in getting off to sleep and may experience "restless legs syndrome", sudden muscle jerks (myoclonus) just as they are dropping off or be jolted suddenly by a hallucination of a loud bang (hypnagogic hallucination) which wakes them up again. These disturbances may also last for several weeks, sometimes months.

 

However, all these symptoms do settle in time. The need for sleep is so powerful that normal sleep will eventually reassert itself. Meanwhile, attention to sleep hygiene measures including avoiding tea, coffee, other stimulants or alcohol near bedtime, relaxation tapes, anxiety management techniques and physical exercise may be helpful. Taking all or most of the dose of benzodiazepine at night during the reduction period may also help.

Thanks translator...Having an explanation of a sx helps so much in reducing the anxiety.  Worrying about not sleeping causes even more sleep issues.  It's great news that our sleep cycles will adjust with time.

Hello RKO. I feel sad that you are still suffering. I was also a short term user and got addictive in a week. Your case is almost similar to mine in this regard.

 

I'd zero night sleeps in the acute that lasted almost 2-3 months. Melatonin helped me during this period. I was like a Zombie and felt like a drug addict with my eyes starving for sleep.

Sleep started to return in batches in 3-4 months. One hour, Two hour three hours. I'm currently 6.5 months out but still have sleep issues. I wake up after every 2-3 hours but I'm able to sleep again. I think the normal 6-7 hour slee will never return considering the damage it has done to brain. But human body is a slow healer and I see improvement as time passes. I think you may have to weight a little more till your sleep returns.

 

Prayers for your recovery.

After going CT off benzos and SSRIs, I did not sleep normally for an entire year. All I had was micro sleeps. The rest of the time I just laid in bed trying not to panic over it all. In my second year, I bought a tablet and started listening to "relaxation music" on YouTube. That didn't help much so I then tried listening (NOT watching) sleep hypnosis videos. They did not work until maybe two months later. I finally began to be able to fall asleep without benzos. I listened to those videos for several years and they really did help me. Listening to them somehow re-trained my mind to fall asleep naturally, with no drugs. I still do this on occasion.

east

Hello RKO. I feel sad that you are still suffering. I was also a short term user and got addictive in a week. Your case is almost similar to mine in this regard.

 

I'd zero night sleeps in the acute that lasted almost 2-3 months. Melatonin helped me during this period. I was like a Zombie and felt like a drug addict with my eyes starving for sleep.

Sleep started to return in batches in 3-4 months. One hour, Two hour three hours. I'm currently 6.5 months out but still have sleep issues. I wake up after every 2-3 hours but I'm able to sleep again. I think the normal 6-7 hour slee will never return considering the damage it has done to brain. But human body is a slow healer and I see improvement as time passes. I think you may have to weight a little more till your sleep returns.

 

Prayers for your recovery.

 

Don't feel too sad. He is probably on a cruise for a friends wedding while we are here trying to support him...so things aren't that bad for him....

I was 90% recovered by four years and then used a lightbox which sent me back to acute

 

After about 4 months I was 80% recovered again and decided F it I’ll quit smoking cigarettes

 

Now I’m in another setback lol

 

Life is good

 

AtivanExperience, a lightbox can send you into acute after four years?? 

After going CT off benzos and SSRIs, I did not sleep normally for an entire year. All I had was micro sleeps. The rest of the time I just laid in bed trying not to panic over it all. In my second year, I bought a tablet and started listening to "relaxation music" on YouTube. That didn't help much so I then tried listening (NOT watching) sleep hypnosis videos. They did not work until maybe two months later. I finally began to be able to fall asleep without benzos. I listened to those videos for several years and they really did help me. Listening to them somehow re-trained my mind to fall asleep naturally, with no drugs. I still do this on occasion.

east

 

East, the sleep hypnosis videos get on my nerves. This Michael Sealey is really good but in my panic  benzo brain he really gets on my nerves, I think I'm too wired up and his relaxed voice makes me want to throw the cell phone out the window. The only one I can tolerate now is Baylissa.

LOL! I truly did laugh out loud reading this! And I know exactly what you mean. Perhaps your brain isn't quite ready yet to relax using those videos. I was picturing you throwing your cell phone out the window, and of course, you would have immediately panicked about that and go downstairs to retrieve it. God almighty, benzo wd is truly weird for some people. But good for you for at least TRYING sleep hypnosis. It sure worked for me and perhaps in the future (once your brain starts to settle down a bit) you WILL find them useful.

I am glad you were honest, and that you gave me a small giggle this evening. Just keep on going, friend, because this WILL get better. That's a promise.

east (Annie)

LOL! I truly did laugh out loud reading this! And I know exactly what you mean. Perhaps your brain isn't quite ready yet to relax using those videos. I was picturing you throwing your cell phone out the window, and of course, you would have immediately panicked about that and go downstairs to retrieve it. God almighty, benzo wd is truly weird for some people. But good for you for at least TRYING sleep hypnosis. It sure worked for me and perhaps in the future (once your brain starts to settle down a bit) you WILL find them useful.

I am glad you were honest, and that you gave me a small giggle this evening. Just keep on going, friend, because this WILL get better. That's a promise.

east (Annie)

 

East, I see so many people here and on youtube who had to quit their jobs, having their husbands or wives take care of everything... If I quit my job there's no husband or wife and I'd just lose everything, starting with custody of my daughter and my family would probably put me in a psych ward or something. There would be an intervention definitely. I get so depressed seeing almost everyone quit the job, is homebound, bedridden, or at least they can't work. I keep thinking of you and a few other members to give myself some hope. And I'm tapering, you CTd. Of course we're always just one prescription away from a CT (though I do have a little stash). I see such a  long a wining road ahead of me. Only 2.5 mgs to taper but taper has gone wrong so that's going to be two years if everything goes well that is.  Sorry, just needed to vent a little and tell you I don't know how you made it. Maybe your genetics play a part. I see many people who couldn't possibly work and they're no sissies. Hope everyone wakes up to a better day and having slept at least five hours.

VI hear you and my heart goes out to you, Benzos can rob us of so many things.

There is just something about benzo wd that makes one want to give up. RiverWolfe talked about the Benzo Lies. I had trouble understanding what he meant at first, but slowly, I sure did. Benzo tell us we wont heal, that we should reinstate and just give up. Benzo lies tell us that we doubt what we read here, as how could this stuff be true? Benzo lies tell us we are doomed to fail, and that we should have NO hope of recovering.

Those are all huge lies.  It took me three years to finally feel okay, but I am SO glad I tuck it out.

I always advise people NOT to read scary stuff, because a benzo brain will grab onto anything negative and cause you even MORE pain and fear. If something scares you, click off it asap and move on. You do not need scary stuff now! You are way too fragile right now.

 

What I went through was a bit extreme, but how I dealt with it can be helpful to you and others. I could NOT work back then, I was using a damn walker to move about, for God's sake! My only income was Social Security and that isn't enough to live on. But I had no choice, I made do. Went to Food banks, shopped at Thrift Stores for several years. I was always frightened by my lack of money but what could I do except push forward? I considered suicide. Could not do that. My cats meant too much to me.

 

Little stashes are NOT a good idea. One of the things I had to force myself to do was get rid of mine. I know it gives you some small comfort having it, but until you get rid of it, you are just ONE step closer to taking them and ruining all your progress.

 

I can tell you will heal and I can tell you that fifty times but your benzo brain will continue to doubt this. And that is normal. Many people told me that and NO, I did not believe them until I DID heal.

Please keep in touch with me. I cannot PM (long story) but my Success Story is easy to find and I will always respond to you there.

east (Annie and her wonderful cat Bear)

Eastcoast, Thank you Annie for all the good advice and support. I keep the stash IN CASE the drs stop prescribing to avoid a cold turkey. I think it's the best thing to do. I only take my daily dose of 2.5 and the stash would be to be able to continue my taper in case I was forced to CT. If that happened, I am certain my family would take me to a ward where they would put me on all sort of drugs and end my sanity. Many people who taper need to have a stash if you're not sure the doctors will prescribe to continue your taper. Then when they finish the taper they take everything back to the pharmacy. I already have severe panic every time I think they could stop prescribing. If I didn't have a stash I would not be able to sleep ever due to the fear. I'm sorry you had such a difficult time and I'm glad your cats were there to keep you alive. When your family saw you like that, didn't they try to force more drugs on you? That's another big fear. If I didn't have to raise my daughter (for which I need to be functional obviously), and I didn't have my parents who would interfere if they saw anything strange, maybe I'd feel more free. But talk about fake it, I have to fake I'm totally ok. Imagine if a CT happened that would be impossible. Here in spain, if they pay you social security for disability, you have to take all the drugs they give you to "cure you". So I'd be put on 5 or 6 ads, plus probably a different benzo. Well, I'll search the positive thinking info you recommended in the other thread and I'll try more of that. Not reading the horror stories is difficult because they're in the same threads where you get the most encouragement. Everyone is suffering here. We all are. Take care of you and your cats Annie.

I have tapered fast to .50 Klonopin and then transitioned to quickly from klonopin to Valium doing 50/50 in 1 week, then started 8 mg of Valium dropping to 5 mg in one month and have terrible side effects along with the chronic insomnia that these did not help with.

 

Some users suggest that I updose and to help my symptoms, but I have upped .5 mg twice last week that did nothing.

 

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

I have tapered fast to .50 Klonopin and then transitioned to quickly from klonopin to Valium doing 50/50 in 1 week, then started 8 mg of Valium dropping to 5 mg in one month and have terrible side effects along with the chronic insomnia that these did not help with.

 

Some users suggest that I updose and to help my symptoms, but I have upped .5 mg twice last week that did nothing.

 

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

Open a new thread in the withdrawal section and entitle it : should I updose, or something similar. You need opinions from several experienced people, and not many people follow this thread.

I do not think up dosing is ever a good idea. Our goal is to get OFF benzos, not stay on them. Your taper should be reasonable, and any bumps in the road just be dealt with as best as you can, without taking more pills. All of us have to learn how to manage stress without taking another pill. This was perhaps the hardest lesson for me to learn: that I could NO LONGER depend on some pill to make me feel better. Thus, I am not at all sorry I went CT off a huge dose of Klonapin, plus Ambien and 2 SSRIS. Yes, withdrawal was awful but to be free of drugs affecting my BRAIN is so worth it.