Author Topic: 26 months off, sleep is back  (Read 813 times)

[Buddie]

26 months off, sleep is back
« on: July 23, 2019, 10:55:36 am »
From the start, even during the tapering, insomnia was by far my worst symptom. Not only about the number of sleep's hours , but also about the quality of the recuperation.
  From my experience, a lot of symptoms dependent on sleep. That's why better sleep is of such great importance.
3 months ago (23 months off), my sleep was still very complicated, With some hard times, even though much progress has been made since 2 years.
Two months ago, it's started to get better and better.
Now I sleep an average of 6/7 hours by night with a good quality of fatigue's recovery.
Further progress being possible, I'm very confident about it !
For some reasons, naps are still toxic (less than before however), but I don't need them anymore.
As regards others symptoms, depression is gone, neck pain almost disappeared, dr/dp idem, electricity in the legs gone, I still have some little pains in the calves during the night but body pains gone.

I still need my routine, especially at the wake up, to be functional (making breakfast, stretching, having breakfast, work, workout, meditation and go to sleep at the same hour (09h00/10h00))

I not yet have a real social life, but I have a girlfriend and I spend very good time with her, quietly, with an healthy lifestyle. I do have coffee, but not on an empty stomach. About alcohol, a sip or two of wine during the meal, never on an empty stomach and only the weekend. My libido is  ok but more quiet than before lol.

Emotions, feelings and perception are still altered, less than it was 6 months ago and without comparison with 1 year ago.
Associated with anxiety, always present, it makes me feel uncomfortable and a kind of sad most of the time.
However, that  remains at acceptable levels, slightly higher during the waves. I'm really functional, sociability just gets better with time, maybe with much more control than before, that is a very good point !
Now I still have to cope with not really new symptoms, manic and obsessive behaviours (everything must be in order, at the same place, I must do the " right things" all the time, I feel guilty very quickly). Not really pleasant, I have to work on it, cause it hurts me a lot.

For the rest, I'm still struggling with apathy and tired times, normal at this moment of the withdrawal.
Cog fog, lost of short  memory and cognitive disorders are now really bearable.

Sometimes  I go as far as to regret my "old myself"...but I'm sure that the "new myself" will be great !

Time is the healer...but we have to help it !

Stay calm, keep the faith and fight for your freedom !!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 26 months off, sleep is back
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2019, 12:33:04 pm »
Thanks for the update. You've made some really great progress. I hope things continue to improve for you and you are even better than before. Really appreciate the honesty and the keeping in touch with the community.

Keep up the awesome work :)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 26 months off, sleep is back
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2019, 02:27:14 pm »
Great update [...].  I know that this thing is not moving fast enough for you and for me. You have made lots of ground and you are in the home stretch.  Keep the faith my friend.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 26 months off, sleep is back
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2019, 04:41:46 pm »
Thanks for coming back with an update and happy for the improvement.

PG
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 26 months off, sleep is back
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2019, 06:45:08 pm »
This is great news [...]! Sleep is a gift! Recovery is such a lesson in patience. Best of luck as you continue to heal.

Warmly,
[...] :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 26 months off, sleep is back
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2019, 05:22:27 am »
Awesome job nan, your routine is doing you wonders Iím sure. it looks healthy and takes a lot of dedication to stick to it. Iíve been on here about a year and have seen your progress, Iím so happy for you.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 26 months off, sleep is back
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2019, 11:02:30 am »
Thanks a lot for your encouragements and your kind words, I really appreciate it.
I do not know what I would have become without Benzobbudies...
To compare my journey with others has been vital...It deeply helped me to put words of was going on inside me...and to realise that I was not the only one in this madness.

I just would like to add something.
I truly understand some pessimistic posts, indeed even aggressive.
This painful ordeal are putting us in a such desperate state that some uncontrolled reactions may arise.
But keep those behaviours, this is an other story...
Anger, negative thoughts, bad attitude will always be a choice, as well as in "the normal life".
I hold it against everyone so many times...crying, screaming, asking God to die !... But I quickly realised that to stay mired in negativity and anger was just the opposite of recovery.
Because in this way we are becoming victim.
And a victim attitude can't get us out of this dangerous impasse...

"Let me tell you something you already know.
The world aint all sunshine n rainbows.
It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are! It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, Me, Nobody is going to hit as hard as life!
But it aint about how hard you hit!
It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving foward.
How much you can take and keep moving foward!
That's How Winning Is Done ! "

Rocky Balboa quote 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 26 months off, sleep is back
« Reply #7 on: October 03, 2019, 05:45:14 pm »
Congratulations on getting your sleep back!  That's wonderful and will definitely help you heal even further.  Keep fighting!!! 

By far, insomnia is also my worst symptom stemming from anxiety.  I'm almost a year off.  Acute lasted about 6 months.  This summer brought some definite improvements and lessening of symptoms.

I've been in a pattern of sleep one night (5-6 hours) and not the next.  I've experienced a couple patches of sleep 2-3 nights in a row, but I also have the opposite where I get caught in a few bad nights of sleep.  I take tart cherry pills, lactium and l-theanine at night along with some melatonin.  I've managed to taper myself down from taking 1.5mg nightly to .4mg.  Although on bad nights I sometimes load up on the melatonin in desperation. 

What helped you get your sleep back?  Did you take anything?  Exercise?  Diet?  I realize everyone is different, but hearing what helped others is always beneficial.

I so desperately want my life back.  I want to be able to travel again (outside of my time zone) and live my life to the fullest.  I'm trying my best to live life, but it's no where near the same.  It would all be great if I could just sleep again.  On days that I get some sleep, the next day is a lot better.  I used to be able to sleep like a log until I took steroids and had a panic attack that put me in a constant state of anxiety.  I am trying my best to maintain hope that I will someday heal. 
 
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 26 months off, sleep is back
« Reply #8 on: October 15, 2019, 10:21:33 am »
Congratulations on getting your sleep back!  That's wonderful and will definitely help you heal even further.  Keep fighting!!! 

By far, insomnia is also my worst symptom stemming from anxiety.  I'm almost a year off.  Acute lasted about 6 months.  This summer brought some definite improvements and lessening of symptoms.

I've been in a pattern of sleep one night (5-6 hours) and not the next.  I've experienced a couple patches of sleep 2-3 nights in a row, but I also have the opposite where I get caught in a few bad nights of sleep.  I take tart cherry pills, lactium and l-theanine at night along with some melatonin.  I've managed to taper myself down from taking 1.5mg nightly to .4mg.  Although on bad nights I sometimes load up on the melatonin in desperation. 

What helped you get your sleep back?  Did you take anything?  Exercise?  Diet?  I realize everyone is different, but hearing what helped others is always beneficial.

I so desperately want my life back.  I want to be able to travel again (outside of my time zone) and live my life to the fullest.  I'm trying my best to live life, but it's no where near the same.  It would all be great if I could just sleep again.  On days that I get some sleep, the next day is a lot better.  I used to be able to sleep like a log until I took steroids and had a panic attack that put me in a constant state of anxiety.  I am trying my best to maintain hope that I will someday heal. 
 

Thanks a lot for your encouragement !
I'm so sorry for you, the lack of sleep is something really awful.
The only tip (working for me !!) [...] give to you is:
Go to bed early, the first 2 or 3 hours of sleep are so important to feel some rest !
I learned to cope with very bad sleep. It's unbelievable, I did so many things with just few hours of sleep.
The hardest thing is the non linear healing process, but I saw improvements each 6 months....
At 29 months off, my sleep is really better, the same for the wake up.
Be strong and patient, all this pain is not for nothing, it worth to endure this nightmare.
The feeling of freedom is indescribable, believe me !


Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: 26 months off, sleep is back
« Reply #9 on: October 15, 2019, 07:39:40 pm »

I just would like to add something.
I truly understand some pessimistic posts, indeed even aggressive.
This painful ordeal are putting us in a such desperate state that some uncontrolled reactions may arise.
But keep those behaviours, this is an other story...
Anger, negative thoughts, bad attitude will always be a choice, as well as in "the normal life".
I hold it against everyone so many times...crying, screaming, asking God to die !... But I quickly realised that to stay mired in negativity and anger was just the opposite of recovery.
Because in this way we are becoming victim.
And a victim attitude can't get us out of this dangerous impasse...


"Let me tell you something you already know.
The world aint all sunshine n rainbows.
It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are! It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, Me, Nobody is going to hit as hard as life!
But it aint about how hard you hit!
It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving foward.
How much you can take and keep moving foward!
That's How Winning Is Done ! "

Rocky Balboa quote

[...], I really love your post above, as well as the 'Rocky' quote and your update. You come across as a lovely, kind person....

So happy to read about your improvements. Thank you for the encouraging words. I wish you the very best for the final stretch.

[...]
💜
« Last Edit: October 16, 2019, 08:47:48 am by [Buddie] »
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.