What is the hardest about your temporary “new normal”?

Very shortly after beginning my taper in April 2018, I found myself living a very different life than I had ever known. I knew that all the years in tolerance had negatively impacted me, but I was not prepared for what became my “new normal” in withdrawal. I finished my taper only 2+ weeks ago, so I have a long time to keep living in my “new normal”. I was hoping we could share some of our stories about what is different in this temporary state of “waiting to get back to myself, again”. What is the hardest change to deal with and how do you cope? I don’t know if this is true for others, but the coping skills that I have relied on in the past, don’t work as well now. I can’t say of this is the hardest thing, they are all hard. But one thing that is hard about my “new normal” is always being in a state of discomfort, physically and emotionally. Human beings seem programmed to find a way to self soothe when they are in crisis. That is why babies have blankies and thumbs. None of my adult self soothing methods work anymore. I can’t lose myself in a book, take a nap, relax in the tub, enjoy some ice cream, daydream ... nothing works. Nothing in my tool box works now. That is the change that makes it hard for me. Esperanza

I feel the same way. I don’t feel any relief from the things I once enjoyed. That’s what’s so sick about benzo wd. The hardest thing for me is watching life pass me by. I have an expensive degree and I’m not in my career field. I’m putting one foot in front of the other waiting this thing out. Very hard. I feel like my prime is wasted. What helps me cope? Podcasts, BB, researching stuff on the internet, etc. Not exactly healthy coping. It’s hard to enjoy my hobbies anymore - guitar, fishing, etc. - because I am zapped of emotion and joy. It’s really sad.

The same with me. I now have studied enough to have a degree in Benzodiazapines and how they have destroyed my life. Wasn’t part of my life plan. And it is not at all soothing. Espy

I think the worst part for me is the constant negativity that is so much a part of benzo withdrawal/recovery. I used to feel very elated about life. Sure, there were times when I was down, but I quickly came back up again. THIS, though, seems interminable with the negativity. I feel everything tamped down in my brain.  :'(

The daily discomfort is definitely difficult (that’s a lot of “D’s”  ) but for me the hardest part is not knowing if/when I will return to my “old normal” (or at least an approximation thereof).

Same for me. All those d words. Espy

E: I forgot to include something very important in my previous post — that is, HATS OFF and CONGRATULATIONS on completing your taper!!! L

Oh, thank you so much. At least one part of this journey is over. ♥️Espy