Experiencing severe depression

Hi there,

 

I'm currently doing my diazepam taper, current dose is 10mg diazepam which I have decreased from 20mg over the last year or so (dropping 1mg every month or so w/ breaks to adjust)

 

Apart from the strong 24/7 feeling of de-personalization/de-realization  I have this profound feeling of severe depression that just won't go away. I have never really been depressed before (although I have been very anxious in the past, depression is just not in my vocabulary])..

 

Can anyone explain to me what is exactly causing this in the brain & the associated neurological functions that] cause such a severe feeling of depression? Sometimes it lifts and goes away, but I'm 26 years old at the moment and don't have much (if any) hope for the future (I'm also experiencing suicidal thoughts most of the time and just feel.. dead)

 

I come of Heroin 6 years ago and SSRIs 6 months ago and methadone last year... But I was never depressed..

 

Also, the feeling of not being able to focus and a feeling of cognitive impairment is very pronounced..

 

How long can i expect this to last? Are there any tips or tricks I can use that will help me overcome this?

anyone? What causes this severe depression?

I never suffered prolonged depression, but I had waves of severe depression after c/t ativan. It was black hole, I never felt like that in my whole life.. at that moment I was terrified and confused but now I know it was all chemical. I am going through scary shit with my sleep, it gives me whole day anxiety, but I am not major depressed although I have every reason to be. So I believe that severe depression is chemically provoked. What exactly causes it, who knows. Some chemical pathways in body are temporary screwed. How long it takes to all those hormones get balanced is very individual.. too much factors.. gut health, adrenal strength, sex hormones levels, insulin... You are young, no matter what you've been through, your body is still strong, you will get better.

You can experiment with diet,, eating low glicemic food made a lot difference to me in general,, although I am not diabetic. Completely avoid junk food.. highly processed food is not recognized as food at all in our bodies,, it is just another pile of chemicals no one needs.

Im tapering diazepam atm and I completely understand your depression issues. Ive had them all year and cant seem to budge from it. Im very suicidal as ive never felt so low for so long. I cry alot. Im currently undergoing TMS treatment as anti depressants did nothing to help

I'm really sorry you're all going through this. Well done on how far you've come.

 

Diazepam is known to cause terrible depression in some people. So yes, it's most likely being caused by the valium, cookiemouse. (There are older threads on here that confirm this.) One way it does this is by interfering with serotonin.

 

Also, depression is often part of withdrawal. I had it severely in my first year off Ativan. It has lightened up now and is decreasing. It is awful, but it goes away in time as the body heals from these horrific drugs. In fact, I rarely experience it now - finally, on some days, I feel joyful!

 

Just don't let anyone convince you this is you. It's not. In the meantime, try to live healthily and find ways to distract. I know how hard it is. Read 'lostdog''s success story to see how his depression completely went away. Above all, try not to add more meds, as this usually just complicates things and often doesn't help at all.

 

Hang in there. You will all come through this, I promise you. Take good care.

 

Wildflower

Hi there,

 

Thank you all for replying. The depression has somewhat lifted now and although I don't feel myself (at all), I no longer feel suicidal and "dead"..

 

As noted in my previous post, I come off 40mg Citalopram in January 2019 and the withdrawal from that took some time to dissipate, I think I'm probably very low on all the known neurotransmitters (particularly Serotonin) since I was taking an SSRI for so long (all these do if numb you out, I won't be taking these again)..

 

All I can do I suppose is just wait this thing out.. Although, its very hard for me to get any motivation to do anything at the moment and I really need to get a start in life (no job, not getting any younger, no friends, no hope etc..) All I seem to do is just wake up, eat and go to sleep..

 

Although I try to keep myself busy researching things of an academic nature on the internet (this has been affected though by the profound brain fog/inability to concentrate.).

 

I will abstain from any processed foods and continue getting as much beneficial organic food as possible.

 

The feeling of derealization is profound also, has anyone dealt with this? If so, does this eventually go when you're complete with the taper? I've had a weird 'shine' effect on my vision/surroundings for over a year now and it can get a little annoying at times. Everything lacks emotional depth, and it feels like I'm witnessing the world through some screen (or something)...

 

Thanks.

 

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