Insomnia past the 1 year mark

I’ve been off etizolam for a little over 13 months now and am still dealing with some nasty insomnia. I’m regularly having nights with only 3 hours, sometimes less, of sleep. Good nights for me are 5 to 6 hours of sleep, and I usually only have a few of those nights a week. I only had  one of those nights this past week. I feel like I haven’t slept well in ages. Anyone out there who has experienced insomnia this far out and gotten back to normal, healthy sleep eventually? I never struggled with insomnia before my withdrawal.

I perhaps messed myself up with z-drugs and benzos more than the average person on this forum. At 13 months off I was no different than you are now. Beyond that, sleep started to get better in fits and starts, but for the most part I was still missing massive amounts of it for a couple more years. Now at 4+ years off I still have a bad night from time to time and the quality of my sleep is not what it was before all the problems started, but lately I have been experiencing some decent stretches of pretty normal sleep and have been going out shortly after closing my eyes at night.

 

Don't stress too much over a delayed return to normal sleep. It is what it is and it will take as long as it takes. You adapt and live your life. I was by no means completely miserable and useless, even during the worst of it.

That is the one that concerns me the most, insomnia. I like to think I am addicted to my dreams, not to benzos. I will likely have to cut to PT hours after my taper is complete in 2 years. Can't function without sleep, can't live without work (money). I tapered from 2mg Xanax to 1mg then switched to klonopin 1mg and water tapered down to .9mg, insomnia hasn't been an issue but when I found out that the benzo animal had bitten me 2 years ago after a sleepless 5 day cold turkey episode, I had titrated down to .5mg Xanax prior to this attempt and was doing well but started working this job that is stressful beyond words to describe, so bumped up to 1mg. Now with all the media attention that the opiate crisis is generating. my fear is when that subsides, as the government has stepped in with all its might and furry, so people that really need pain meds are suffering and being under medicated or cut off because of the idiots that abused them or sold them under the table,  the media will seek a new demon to unleash on folks, the benzo epidemic. They will make them a schedule III or II  substance and so people that didn't start a taper will got caught flat footed and go through cold turkey hell. Look up online health stores that sell tart cherry supplements and other natural, herbal sleep aides. I ordered some just to add to my stockpile and take a few to see if they work. I found that they do in fact help. Natural sources of melatonin, tryptophan, passion flower extract, and some roots. They made me feel drowsy.

Thanks for the reply, Aloha. That makes me feel a bit better. Hopefully I’ll be sleeping at least somewhat decently before 4 years out. I had a nice period at the end of last month and the start of this month in which I got 5+ hours of sleep 9 out of 12 days. I even got close to 7 one of those nights. It was glorious. Almost 10 straight days without less than 4 hours of sleep in a night, too. But then I made the mistake of having a tall glass of beer with a good friend of mine on the 5th for his birthday, and that really set me back. I definitely won’t be making that mistake again. Hopefully I’ll be seeing more periods like that soon.

Thanks for the reply, Aloha. That makes me feel a bit better. Hopefully I’ll be sleeping at least somewhat decently before 4 years out. I had a nice period at the end of last month and the start of this month in which I got 5+ hours of sleep 9 out of 12 days. I even got close to 7 one of those nights. It was glorious. Almost 10 straight days without less than 4 hours of sleep in a night, too. But then I made the mistake of having a tall glass of beer with a good friend of mine on the 5th for his birthday, and that really set me back. I definitely won’t be making that mistake again. Hopefully I’ll be seeing more periods like that soon.

 

It could very well have been the beer that set you back, however I discovered that setbacks, or waves, tend to happen throughout the entire recovery period and there is always something going on prior to them that tend to attract blame.

I talk with a lot of people who aren't going through benzo wd about sleep. One of the things I'm reminded of very regularly is that even the "normies" have runs of terrible sleep. Sometimes they know the cause and sometimes they don't. It seems to just be a part of life. In wd we can get so fixated on how we feel, what's happening with sleep, etc. that it not only takes up a lot more brain space than is needed, it adds to our level of suffering by amplifying our awareness of it. This is not to say that wd doesn't really suck but it can be grounding to remember that we aren't totally alien creatures.

I have had insomnia for only a short time, since June, I started doubling up my bipolar mess and that helped, but I was afraid they'd run out. So mom with whom I still live, called my psychiatrist and he phoned in temazepam to the local pharmacist. She researched it and saw it was short term intended, and highly addictive. I've heard some bad news about benzo withdrawal, anyway, I'm sorry you've had insomnia for a year. I suppose it's like they say, you can look around and see someone in a worse condition than you, right? Anyway take care and feel better LF insomniac31407

Thanks for the well wishes, Insomniac31407. I really appreciate it. And I’m really glad to hear from you, MTfan! Your success story is probably my favorite on this site. It really gives me hope. You had it way worse than me and are doing much better. The past couple of weeks have been the toughest for me since the first couple months, which is a bit discouraging. I really felt like I was turning a corner with sleep, and then things got worse.

Waves and setbacks are tough. Sometimes we just have to grit our teeth and resolve to keep going until they pass. Meanwhile, it's an invitation to build character and strength. Remember that courage doesn't mean feeling brave or strong but doing what you need to do regardless of how weak and frightened you feel.

I am 20 months from jumping off of clonazepam and still have relentless insomnia.  My biggest concern is what consistently getting not more than 4 hours of sleep on average is doing to my brain. 

Update. Do not  use the passion flower and valerian root extracts as you taper. They act like benzo agonists so it is like taking more benzos to increase the effects on the GABA A receptors. Not the best plan overall if you want to come off benzos.  I used as a back up as to the minor waves I was experiencing, now setting aside only as a back up for major waves (have not occurred yet). I found that vigorous exercise and taking tart cherry supplements help build up a natural source of melatonin levels and has provided me with better nights of deep stage REM sleep. The passion flower and valerian root extracts and teas may help you short term, but if your long term plan is to be free of benzos, consider using other methods.

I am still having horrible insomnia......My doctor put me on Bio-Identical Progesterone,,,,I did not want to take it, but I did try it....While on it, I had more insomnia and more anxiety during the night.  I was on it for 4 weeks...then I said,  No More....then, the week after I went off....I had the best sleep.....Now....I am back to horrible sleep....Does anyone think the Progesterone had something to do with me sleeping after I stopped taking it?    It is a mystery to me....or did I just have a healing spell.  I still do not get sleepy at all,  but once in a while I do.  Sometimes I cannot fall asleep....sometimes I fall asleep... then wake up..and feel wired...It still does not feel like normal sleep to me.  I keep asking myself and driving myself crazy,  Is this still Post Withdrawal?  I still have the tinnitus and sometimes, like clockwork, at around 9:30 or 10:00 p.m., right before bed, I will get these weird leg movements...Not Jerks....

 

I have to remind myself that I took these Poisons every night for 7 years (Klonopin and Amitriptyline)  because I trusted my doctor and he told me they were safe.  Like a Vitamin!!  Ha...

 

I was a runner prior to going off these Poisons....Now,  I am a walker and sometimes I get a jog in if I feel ok that day (if I feel rested)...I miss my runners high...

 

I don't look forward to much anymore, without sleep, especially going on vacation..That should be a happy experience, but without being able to sleep at night, I don't look forward to going.  It is hard enough laying in your own bed and not sleeping.

 

Prior to being on these drugs, I don't remember having this kind of messed up sleep....I know I had some problems sleeping (that is why Doctor put me on Klonopin)..

 

Could this still be withdrawal from being on Klonopin and Amitriptyline for 7 years (taken every night)…. How horrible!!!!!!! 

 

Thank You Everyone....I don't know where I would be without Benzo Buddies.

Runnergirl,

 

The symptoms you describe sound very much like wd to me. For some of us it just lasts longer but even for the more extreme cases it gradually starts to turn around. I was hesitant to go on vacations as well for the reasons you listed but I found out that the distraction was nice and I was able to have a pretty good time. Sleeping would have made it even better but I've done it every year since going off. Weekend trips are killer though. I did, and do them, anyway from time to time but it takes a while to recover.