Anxiety Relapse

I went 4 years without bad anxiety or panic attacks, I did have a few here and there but I brushed them off without any problems and went about my day.

About 20 days ago I had a severe panic attack, I ended up sitting in my car outside late night trying to calm down, it went away and I felt better and normal,

the next day me and the wife went to a car wash, we drove in and the car wash started, I freaked out, jumped out of the car and left the car wash, I laughed

it off until later that day when I started having more panic attacks, the next one was while driving to a fast food restaurant and being hungry, the line was so

long it set me off and I started to sweat and that is when my stomach felt like I almost got punched....

Since those events I have been a total wreck, its hard to drive farther then a few miles from home, I wake up panicky and stay anxious all day, I haven't

had sex with my wife for 20 days TMI??? its hard to shower although I do daily but I make it fast.

I have been taking steps, small steps but they count, I drove a little further today, I went to my psychiatry office to check it out before my appointment

which for some horrible reason they thought it would be a good idea to have a mental health office at the 3rd level of a building with a super slow elevator, both

of those I hate.

The office lady at the psychiatry office asked if I needed help "hell yes I do" I told her no that I was just trying to check out the office before I come because of

my anxiety, she said follow me and I will give you a tour, I told her if I run out while taking this tour its nothing personal and she said it would be okay, I walked through with her and she showed me where my Doctors room was and it went fine, they also check your vitals and I do not want my blood pressure checked,

it will be high and I know I will bail if it is, I told them and she said we can pass on vitals the first visit...

Sorry for the long post.

Basically I'm trying to do stuff daily and while I feel good about the small things I accomplish my anxiety is still eating me alive, I've lost around 6lbs

so far.

Car washes and elevators are a scare for me too. Hell driving can be. I’m learning to talk myself down much better though . The little steps are good for sure. I have lost a good chunk of weight  (I needed to so not complaining yet). Probably close to 10lbs over 3 weeks. My healthy self is probably close to 185. I was at 225 before benzos and stuff. Started being a tad better. Once I stopped drinking dropped to 215. And now with my loss of appetite I’m down to 204. Weight loss can be normal for some. Others I think may gain weight .

Sex is something personal but I understand what you are saying. I had no desire for the last 20 or so days. Was able to with my long time girlfriend of 10 years which helped my pschy out a bit. I don’t think anyone would say that’s TMI since everyone is going through their own issues and is here to judge.

It sounds like conquering the anxiety how you are is a good thing, and I’m doing similar steps and learning more and more on how to calm myself. I never truly learned how to deal with my anxiety without turning to alcohol as my main vice. (Social situations, and planes etc). So I think at the end of this I will be in a better spot due to that fact. You have to pull positives out when you can