Is my use of benzos deadly?

Hey guys,

Worried about my current benzo use. Yes, I've been slowly cutting down on my 5mg Valium that I use, but feel I'm taking way too much and need help to wean down. I moved down from 7.5mg a day for three months. Realised this was wayyy too much Valium to take. Now, I have horrible anxiety about this. Is my use harmful?

Hey guys,

Worried about my current benzo use. Yes, I've been slowly cutting down on my 5mg Valium that I use, but feel I'm taking way too much and need help to wean down. I moved down from 7.5mg a day for three months. Realised this was wayyy too much Valium to take. Now, I have horrible anxiety about this. Is my use harmful?

7.5mg of Valium is not considered a high amount of benzo. If it were Xanax , Klonopin it would be considered high as these two drugs are 20 time stronger than Valium. (1mg of X or K = 20mg V) So try not to worry about this.

Hey guys,

Worried about my current benzo use. Yes, I've been slowly cutting down on my 5mg Valium that I use, but feel I'm taking way too much and need help to wean down. I moved down from 7.5mg a day for three months. Realised this was wayyy too much Valium to take. Now, I have horrible anxiety about this. Is my use harmful?

 

7.5mg of Valium is not considered a high amount of benzo. If it were Xanax , Klonopin it would be considered high as these two drugs are 20 time stronger than Valium. (1mg of X or K = 20mg V) So try not to worry about this.

I realise that, and thanks for your support. I'm tapering off 5mg but having a crap moment and finding it real hard to get through.

How my benzo use started.

I had a massive panic episode behind the wheel of my car on a stinking hot 38 degree day. It was February in Australia. A number of record-breaking Summer days. My Mum wanted to go to the beach to cool off. When I got down to Grange, which is West of Adelaide, the capital city of South Australia, we decided to go to Largs Bay, which is near Port Adelaide, about a 30 minute drive. I felt like I passed out. I had to pull over and do my business on the side of the road.

Enter the doctor. I went to a doctor because I was fed up with having these panic episodes. The original lady I saw was an older lady who was a Muslim doctor. She was lovely. She had me take thyroid tests and then gave me a low dose of Propranolol, which is a beta-blocker. I went to an Icehouse concert at Glenelg, which is a beachside suburb in the South West of Adelaide. Oh boy. I felt terrible. Because I was asthmatic, I felt wheezy and like my throat was closing over. I had six tablets in total. Sweating was through the roof. I couldn't even do the shopping without puffing and panting and I felt real faint afterwards. In hindsight, I would take the Propranolol any day of the week over the Diazepam. But I am a mild asthmatic, so that was out of the question.

Long story short, I got the sh--s. I went back to my primary family doctor. He is an older man; a quirky Ukrainian 60 something year old bloke who is a world-renowned physician. Our family have been going to him for over 30 years. I went to him for a heart check, because I was scared of having a heart attack. I bought two 10kg weight plates from an online fitness store, and attempted lifting them. I felt funky afterwards. That's how the heart attack anxiety started. My primary doctor sent me to a heart clinic. All tests came back good, just a slight abnormal sinus rhythm, but nothing to worry about. Then, the anxiety manifested into seizures. I have always worried about seizures. I saw a man have one about three years ago, whilst he was high on ice or something, and that really shook me up. What made me really frightened though; I was in my final year of working at McDonald's. I had worked there like a trooper for a decade. Then, I saw a workmate have a seizure. I was helpless. The anxiety booted into overdrive. So in the space of six months, I witnessed two bad seizures. At first, my primary doctor did nothing about my seizure anxiety. After all, I had an EEG at 13, which came up negative.

Then I got a Health Care Plan and my primary doctor put me on... Diazepam. I was very hesitant to take it at first. After all, I was warned about taking it from the pharmacist. In the first week, I averaged 7.5mg a day. I had a 2.5mg on the first night of a big concert for a car race festival, the Superloop 500, and 7.5mg on day 2 because I suffer badly from restless legs syndrome and panic. On the vial, it said I could take up to 30mg a day. I thought I was being careful with my use. Not one person told me about the short-term use or: "you should not use this every day," or "you should only take this for 2-4 weeks maximum," Nope. Just a plain, monotonous: "Be careful with these." I thought I was being careful. After all, I followed the instructions on the vial. I also have an understanding difficulty, so when I saw: "Take HALF to ONE tablet THREE times a day as required" I mistook it for "you can take it every day." So that's how my dependence started.

I was desperate to try to get off my Diazepam. I knew I needed help. So I sought the "help" of another doctor, a female in her 40s at the same clinic that the Muslim doctor practiced at. She was utterly pissed off that I was prescribed Diazepam, and then prescribed me the notorious SSRI Paxil (Paroxetine) to wean me off Valium. Bloody hell, Paxil was a nightmare, and still is. This didn't work at all. She put me through a spirometry asthma test, and it came back clear, but she charged me $40AUD for that test. Needless to say, I sacked her a week later. What a rort!

Sorry for the long rant, but this is my story on just how bloody easy it is to get hooked on these little bastards we all want to kick.

Hey crowman...your story is similar to many of ours in this fashion:

I thought I was being careful with my use. Not one person told me about the short-term use or: "you should not use this every day," or "you should only take this for 2-4 weeks maximum,"

Those rat *#$%@* did the same thing to me. I was clueless...there is absolutely nothing we can do to change the past so I decided instead of being (the anger actually ramped up my symptoms) I would accept this fact and focus on getting off the poison and what I would do once off and healed. Any how, try  to remain positive and determined moving forward as you can. One day you will be off and fully recovered.

Thank you so much Bella, you are so positive and thoughtful of others. God bless you and the BB team for adding awareness to the dangers of benzodiazepines

Awe....you are so welcome Crowman! 

Hey Crowman..

Thanks for sharing..

Bella’s right as usual.. -I was given V as a damn taper aid, and told it was great that it worked so well..!! That dr didnt care, he just wanted me on a lower opiate dose... (fair enough, But some info would have been nice..)

He quit me when it got hard, and my new Dr casually said, after a few months, “Be careful with these, some have more problems than with opiates..)!!

-She is up to speed somewhat now..!! Lol

If only we got the info, hey..

Anyways, wishing you the best..  It does get better, -The body is pretty amazing, given time and some healthy support..

Hey Crowman..

 

Thanks for sharing..

 

Bella’s right as usual.. -I was given V as a damn taper aid, and told it was great that it worked so well..!! That dr didnt care, he just wanted me on a lower opiate dose... (fair enough, But some info would have been nice..)

He quit me when it got hard, and my new Dr casually said, after a few months, “Be careful with these, some have more problems than with opiates..)!!

-She is up to speed somewhat now..!! Lol

 

If only we got the info, hey..

 

Anyways, wishing you the best..  It does get better, -The body is pretty amazing, given time and some healthy support..

 

Thanks mate, I appreciate it!

Dave.

Hey Crowman88,

Just to give you some encouragement, buddy. I'm currently on 50-75 mg of lorazepam, which is equal to 365-562 mg of Valium, and I have not given up. You are DEFINITELY not on a high dose that could be life-threatening in any way, though of course might have developed a dependence on it. Each individual reacts differently, and you might be hyper-sensitive to these drugs. Also, the previous usage of beta-blockers and med tests suggest you might have been under a lot of stress, and the brain could've decided to warn you to pause and relax by inducing all these symptoms.

I would recommend you go visit a CBT therapist to learn coping techniques with panic attacks if possible, and slowly taper the Valium. How long have you been taking it for? You might go at faster speed than others.

Here's something you can read, so that next you are more careful when getting prescribed anything by doctors for mental health: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=66397.0

It would probably give you the 1) hope and encouragement you're seeking; 2) educate you on the long-term usage of benzodiazepines and their long-term effects; 3) elucidate you that people who've had a stroke from those have recovered completely

Stay strong, and please try not to exert yourself too much. That's my advice. I hope it helps 

Hey Crowman88,

 

Just to give you some encouragement, buddy. I'm currently on 50-75 mg of lorazepam, which is equal to 365-562 mg of Valium, and I have not given up. You are DEFINITELY not on a high dose that could be life-threatening in any way, though of course might have developed a dependence on it. Each individual reacts differently, and you might be hyper-sensitive to these drugs. Also, the previous usage of beta-blockers and med tests suggest you might have been under a lot of stress, and the brain could've decided to warn you to pause and relax by inducing all these symptoms.

 

I would recommend you go visit a CBT therapist to learn coping techniques with panic attacks if possible, and slowly taper the Valium. How long have you been taking it for? You might go at faster speed than others.

 

Here's something you can read, so that next you are more careful when getting prescribed anything by doctors for mental health: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=66397.0

 

It would probably give you the 1) hope and encouragement you're seeking; 2) educate you on the long-term usage of benzodiazepines and their long-term effects; 3) elucidate you that people who've had a stroke from those have recovered completely

 

Stay strong, and please try not to exert yourself too much. That's my advice. I hope it helps 

Hey mate, thanks so much for the advice and link. Both are very informative! 😊

I've been on Diazepam since February of this year. The most I've taken is 7.5mg daily for three months and two weeks.

I managed to cut this down to 5mg in May. Felt like  but managed to stay there and haven't gone past this dose since. So in total, I've been on Valium for six months daily use.

I had a heart check shortly after getting off the Propranolol, which was back in February. My BP was 110/71, which is very fit. It's like 110/89 now. Teetering on hypotension, but I know it's the benzo withdrawal causing this.

I was desperate to get off Valium. Probably too quickly. I was offered the notorious SSRI Paxil, and I was under the impression that it would work to reduce benzo withdrawals. Not addictive (yeah, right). Oh God, was I wrong. I only took two 10mg tablets and then threw the rest in the bin. In the packet was 100 tablets, plus 5 refills on the script! I stopped going to that doc real quick.

Before this, I weaned down to 2.5mg and was actually benzo free for 11 days, then had a HUGE setback with bendy legs and virtually a CNS shutdown. I was having a "panic attack", but it felt so much different. It felt like a chemically-induced panic attack. I have had two of these attacks so far. Man, they are scary. I tapered too fast, and I know I did because now i feel semi-normal from stabilising. For that, I have to thank Shep from Surviving Antidepressants. She helped me immensely with the stabilisation process.

Now, I'm weaning from 5mg Valium at 2.5% a week, going by weight.

I see a psychologist every month. She reassures me that 2.5mg Valium doesn't even scratch the surface. She told me she has seen a lot worse. She told me she'd rather me on Paxil than Valium, but I'd rather be on nothing!

I now just go to gym for yoga and a very light workout. I know cortisol spikes are not good for WD and can exacerbate symptoms.

This is my history:

Propranolol 2.5mg taken as required. 6 days in CT due to Asthma. Bare in mind, this was prior to me taking Valium. I had my heart checked before being put on Valium, all clear, very fit. Still went to gym 3-4 days a week, no problem. Withdrawal from Propranolol was short-lived. Lasted about 3 weeks.

Started to worry about seizures before being put on Valium, so was then put on it for anxiety. Was told it was safe and effective, warned by pharmacist to be careful. Misunderstood vial instructions, wound up dependant.

In total, I've been on 7.5mg Valium for four months from February.

Went down to 5mg for three weeks in April.

2.5mg in June. Jumped two weeks later.

I was 11 days off, but kindled and went back to 2.5mg Valium.

Was offered Serax - Oxazepam 30mg as I had growing concerns about forming dependance on Valium. I found out these were benzos, threw them in the bin, and took none.

Saw another doc in desperation to come off Valium. Paxil was introduced. Took the junk for 2 days. Withdrawals were terrible, but short-lived. (Wish I threw these in the bin and took none too).

Now tapering slowly off 5mg Valium.

Thanks for replying mate, and I'll keep my head up! At least I'm no longer on Paxil. Believe me, that stuff is worse than any benzo IMO. When I took it, I thought I was going to die that second night on it, so I stopped. I went back to the quack that gave me them, and she told me to get off them. So I did.

Dave.

Yeah, pretty much all first-generation and second-generation (Paxil) anti-depressants are useless IMO. Some people here say they work on them, but the majority of people I've met and discussed anti-depressants were all in agreement they aggravate symptoms. They made me more aggressive and depressive at the same time. Third-generation anti-depressants (which are also anti-psychotics) work, but not as intended. They're mostly used to control psychotic episodes or as an adjunct sleeping aid. They also helped me with benzodiazepine withdrawal in curbing the need to take them.

So, back to your Valium predicament. I'm inclined to agree with your therapist that 2.5 mg are nothing serious, but only if you haven't been taken the pills for that many months. You could taper a bit faster to get rid of this stuff, but it's your choice ultimately. I know the lowest doses are the hardest to get off from. But once you're off them, true recovery begins even though it's gradual, non-linear, etc. It will happen for you.

I suggest you do not mix diazepam with other benzos like oxazepam. You already are put on the best one for tapering according to the Ashton Manual and many members here. Cut at your own pace, but try not to stagger because it might be just preventing your brain from true recovery. If you get down to 1 mg of diazepam, I and some other members believe that it does absolutely nothing to your brain physiologically-speaking.

A lot of the symptoms at this stage could be psychologically-induced. The initial fright from a panic attack for a person who's never had any experience with that could fool you into thinking all symptoms have to be attributed to benzos.

Wish you all the luck! 

I suggest you do not mix diazepam with other benzos like oxazepam.

I have never mixed benzos mate, and I know all about Ashton Manual and that many people use Valium to taper from other benzos like Klonopin and Xanax, as it's so long lasting. That's why I threw out the Oxazepam and never took a single tablet. I wish I would have done the same thing with Paxil, but if I knew then what I know now, I would have tossed them in the garbage without taking a tablet too. I kick myself for taking the Paxil now.

Thanks for your advice. I truly do appreciate it! 

Dave.