My Experience with Lamictal

Hi Greek (and anyone else who wants to enter conversation),

 

Looking at your signature after communicating with you in "Withdrawal Support" made me want to reply to you again.  My story might not even apply to you, but just in case I wanted to share a little bit about my personal story of living with mental illness and a different perspective about medication.

 

In recent years I have suffered from a handful of very severe episodes of depression/anxiety.  My psych nurse practitioner prescribed Ativan in the short term to help me survive the terrible symptoms I was experiencing while she tried to find a longer term medication to help me.  This was difficult because several trials of anti-depressants made me very sick and they did not help.

 

Unfortunately I ended up taking six mgs. of Ativan daily for five months while trying to get help.  My psych np was not worried about me developing a dependency and I was desperate for relief, knowing I might have to face the consequences later.

 

I am absolutely positive that my depression/anxiety is a physiological bio-chemical illness not psychological as my episodes can come out of nowhere. Of course nobody knows the cause of it and treatment is trial and error.  Depression and Anxiety are in my family's health history.  It is not known for sure if mental illness is passed on genetically but it is a possible explanation.

 

I also tried everything to heal on my own including diet, exercise, Chinese medicine and acupuncture, therapy, a very good holistic dr. who prescribed supplements, some other alternative methods, etc.  Unfortunately none of these worked and my depression/anxiety continued and was completely debilitating.  I have always been a very healthy, active person (I have rarely ever taken medication, definitely not long term and not even over the counter meds.)  but these episodes have been increasing overtime and for five months this past year I was barely able to get out of bed.  I didn't know if I was going to survive.  Anti-anxiety techniques like breathing, tapping, etc. do not help when I am sick.

 

My doctor then suggested Lamictal which is a mood stabilizer, originally prescribed as an anti-seizure medication, was found to help the depressive episodes of bi-polar and has been prescribed for major depression disorder.  At first I refused Lamictal because I, like others here, do not like to take medication and I was afraid of the side effects or long term consequences of taking it.  So I continued to take the Ativan which only gave me short term relief for about six to eight hours at a time.

 

Finally I felt so desperate that I returned to the Dr. and asked her to give me the Lamictal.  It took a while to titrate up to a therapeutic dose, but eventually my symptoms eased.  Immediately I started to taper off the Ativan and unfortunately found that my body had developed a dependency.  So here I am on the slow journey to get off the Ativan.  I was on six milligrams by the time I got better.  It's frustrating to go from one form of sickness to the difficulty of recovery from benzos. I am now close to 2.5mgs. after six months but as time goes on I need to go slower and slower.

 

I know many people here are anti-medication.  I certainly am not advocating you take Lamictal or any other medication.  I don't feel I have a choice because my symptoms of depression/anxiety are completely debilitating.  I don't know if I will ever be able to go off the Lamictal.  I also realize there is a trade off because I don't know what the Lamictal will do to me long term.  I hope and pray there will be improvements in the understanding and treatment of mental health disorders in the future.

 

Only you know the severity of your symptoms without benzos.  I do not judge people who need to take medication.  Again I wish I didn't have to but my level of depression/anxiety is life-threatening in itself.  I do want to stop taking benzos and am determined to do it no matter how long it takes and want to figure out a way to never take them again!  I continue to stay healthy in every way I can believing it will help me to recover.

 

Anyway I just wanted to give you another perspective.  I hope you don't have to take another medication, but there is no judgement if you do.

 

I am wishing you success with your benzo taper and also peace and wellness in all of your life.

 

Luey. 

 

 

 

Thank you so much Luey! I don’t want to admit it to myself but maybe I need medication. Like yourself, I’ve tried many natural methods. Nothing seems to cure that vibrating brain. I have to meditate/relaxation techniques for hours before the benzos to make a temporary dent in it. Now that I’m K I can’t even access that part of my brain at all. I feel like I have cement in my head. Like yourself the 2 times I tried SSRIS it made it 100 times worse. A lot of these withdrawal symptoms people speak about on these forums I experienced for years without even withdrawing off anything. The peculiar part is that over the last 15 years the vibration has actually spontaneously gone away for a few hours at a time. My brain felt normal and I would look up into my head in amazement and realize that I had absolutely no problems whatsoever. All my problems vanished in a split second only to come back a few hours later as my brain started to vibrate again. Interesting how you mentioned Lamictal. I’ve been looking into that medication as well. How do you feel when you’re on it? Do you feel medicated? Does it put you in stupor like the benzos do? I don’t want to sedate my mind but open it up. I want that light to turn on again after so many years.

Can you please explain to me how you feel on the lamictal? Do you feel medicated?

Is your name luey or Lucy?

Hi Greek,

 

I will try to answer your questions about my experience with Lamictal.  Fiirst I want to say the symptoms you describe, both with and without benzos, are very different than mine.  The vibrating in your brain is not something I have ever experienced. 

 

I don't really feel any side effects from the Lamictal.  After I built up to a therapeutic dose the severe symptoms of my depression/anxiety subsided.  Until my attempt to go too quickly off the Ativan caught up with me, I was feeling much better, even "normal" again.

 

One thing that makes it slightly confusing is since I started to go off the Ativan, one of my worst symptoms has returned.  Terrible nausea, vomiting and anxiety associated with depression were the main reasons I was prescribed Ativan.  As I taper off the ativan, the feeling of nausea has returned at least a couple of days each week.  The anxiety has not returned.  (Really the only withdrawal symptoms I feel while tapering Ativan, especially if I go too fast, are nausea and complete lack of energy/motivation. My depression also made me feel immobilized.)

 

I am self-diagnosing about my dependency of Ativan, but I am pretty sure its correct.  When I hold or slow down my tapering I feel much better.  If I try to go too fast, I start feeling bad again. I am in control of my own taper.  I could be wrong and maybe the Lamictal is contributing to my symptoms, but intuitively I don't believe that's the case, I think it's my body trying to recover from Ativan.

 

I have tried to research Lamictal on the internet, but it's difficult to find very much good research.  I do know that currently they seem to be prescribing it more for different reasons, at least I know a couple of other people who are taking it for very different symptoms. 

 

One of the things my psych nurse practitioner said is that it's very difficult to study "depression/anxiety" because there are so many different manifestations that are being diagnosed with the same label. There is still so much that is not known about the brain and body.  We respond to medications differently- we are all so different, which can make it very challenging to figure out.

 

I hope you have a very good holistic psychiatric health care provider who can help you sort this out should you decide you want to seek further medical help. I hope first they do every kind of blood work, analysis etc. that they can think of to see if they can find any underlying reasons for what you are experiencing.

 

I hope this is helpful even in a small way and I wish you the very best on your journey to wellness.  Don't hesitate to ask any other questions or write just for mutual support.  You can find me on The Ativan Support Thread.  We are a very small regular group who check in on each other.  I will also check back here to make sure if you got this and to see if you (or anyone else) replies.

 

Even though we are all different, we share a common bond through our spirits and humanity.  In that way we can help each other.  We are not alone.  Being able to support each other is so valuable and for that I am grateful!

 

Hang in there and keep the faith,

 

Luey

 

p.s. My name on this forum is Luey.  Sometimes spellcheck changes my name to Lucy. (-: Neither are even close to my real name.

Luey -

 

What dose of lamictal have you titrated up to?

 

 

 

Hi Nathan Arizona,

 

200mg. of Lamictal.

 

Wishing you well!

 

Luey

Greek, I keep modifying my response to make it more accurate. If you have already read it, maybe go back and read it again for the changes.  Luey

You mentioned finding a holistic psychiatrist? How do they differ in their practice?

Hi Greek,

 

A holistic/integrative provider is the kind of person I seek vs. the old paradigm where the doctor is the expert and the only thing they do is prescribe medication.

 

Here is a general description of a holistic "integrative medicine" provider from Dr. Andrew Weil.

 

~A partnership between patient and practitioner in the healing process

~Appropriate use of conventional and alternative methods to facilitate the body’s innate healing response

~Consideration of all factors that influence health, wellness and disease, including mind, spirit and community as well as body

~A philosophy that neither rejects conventional medicine nor accepts alternative therapies uncritically

~Recognition that good medicine should be based in good science, be inquiry driven, and be open to new paradigms

~Use of natural, effective, less-invasive interventions whenever possible

~Use of the broader concepts of promotion of health and the prevention of illness as well as the treatment of disease

~Training of practitioners to be models of health and healing, committed to the process of self-exploration and self-development.

 

Here's a description from the website of a psychiatric nurse practitioner I saw who was a holistic/integrated psychiatric provider. I really appreciated her open minded approach, the compassionate/gentle way she treated me. 

 

~Approaches mental health wellness comprehensively, recognizing the interaction between the mind and body.

~Acknowledges that depression, anxiety or stress can directly affect mental and physical well-being and that physical distress can impact emotional wellness.

~Believes that each individual has the innate ability to heal.

~Treatments provided are thorough and scientifically supported.

~Comprehensive psychiatry is delivered in a nonjudgmental manner while recognizing and honoring each person’s unique traits and characteristics.

~Welcomes even the most challenging situations from the perspective of opportunity for growth.

She offered:

~Medication management, including traditional approaches and complementary natural alternatives.

~Genetic testing to determine individualized needs for anti-depressant supplementation/augmentation and to identify which medications are most likely to ameliorate symptoms with minimal adverse med effects.

~Nutritional, vitamin/nutraceutical recommendation relevant to mental health and wellness

~Customized detoxification recommendations to promote overall wellness

 

 

There are good doctors out there who believe in this approach but you usually have to search to find them.  (I think you have to be careful because there are also some "alternative" doctors who are part of the "anti-psychiatry" movement who unfortunately do not offer alternatives that work for many of us.) 

 

 

Hey Luey do you have any autoimmune disorder that might be contributing to your depression? Food sensitivities? Candida?

Hey Luey do you have any autoimmune disorder that might be contributing to your depression? Food sensitivities? Candida?

 

Greek, that is such a good question.  I have wondered and looked into these and discussed with my doctors.  I know that autoimmune disorders or viruses are some of the hypothesis being considered for depression/anxiety. 

 

I do try to eat a healthy anti-inflammatory diet.  For example, I have cut out many foods that cause health problems.  I cut out sugar, gluten, caffeine, alcohol, spices and night shades, no packaged or junk food, rarely ever eat out. I cut milk products except for kefir.  I eat mainly fruits and veggies of all colors, some organic chicken, red salmon, only eat olive oil and healthy fats like avocados, nuts and seeds.  I do eat rice and red lentils, all organic food, fermented food for the healthy bacteria and make sure I get foods with high anti-oxidant qualities.  Foods known to be anti-inflammatory like turmeric, ginger and fish oil are a regular part of my diet.  I do intermittent fasting which is supposed to be good for both physical and mental health.  I have rarely taken  antibiotics in my life and none in recent years that would kill off healthy gut bacteria.

 

My lifestyle has always been so healthy.  In fact I am healthy in every way except for the depression/anxiety.  I rarely ever get sick even with a cold.  And my digestive system is very healthy except when I am  nauseous because of anxiety in a depression episode and now the benzo withdrawal.  The gut/brain connection certainly seems obvious in my case.  (still much to be understood about that, but meanwhile I do everything to keep a healthy gut.)

 

I have a good GP and psych np who is still learning.  I will ask them again if any of the things you mentioned (or any others) could be contributing.  And if there is anything else I can do to get better. My doctors know how healthy I am in every way except these damn depression/anxiety episodes.  They don't have a concrete answer or solution for a cure, but I will always keep exploring.

 

Who knows, maybe some day I'll be able to go off the Lamictal too which I know is not treating the root cause.  At the moment, wiith the benzos involved and my fear of ever getting so sick again, I'm going to stay with it for now. 

 

How are you doing?

 

Sending good thoughts your way,

 

Luey

Thanks Luey sending good thoughts your way as well!

Have you checked out Mikhaila Peterson videos on YouTube?

Sorry to bother you Luey but can you please tell me whether you feel medicated while on Lamictal? Does it have the same brain numbing affect like the benzos do?

Sorry to bother you Luey but can you please tell me whether you feel medicated while on Lamictal? Does it have the same brain numbing affect like the benzos do?

 

I don't feel medicated on the Lamictal.  But Ativan doesn't have a brain numbing effect on me either.  Clearly we all react so differently to medications. 

 

Thanks for the video recommendation, I'll check it out.

Hey Luey! Does the Lamictal help to alleviate brain fog or make it worse? I read somewhere that antipsychotic medication can make brain fog worse.

Hi Greek, 

 

How are you doing?

 

Brain Fog is not one of my symptoms with or without Lamictal or during taper of Ativan. 

 

Also, I don't have any experience with anti-psychotics so I don't know what their side effects are. 

 

I know we are all different which makes it so difficult to diagnose and treat.

 

Keep the faith you will get better!

 

Luey

 

 

I’m battling Luey, battling every day. How are you doing? Sorry I thought lamictal was classified as antipsychotic.

Hi Greek,  So sorry about your struggles. I know how hard it can be.  Keep seeking and don't give up hope.  Luey 

Hey Luey!  Just checking to see how you’re doing?

So thankful I found this thread today. I am starting Lamictal tomorrow, hoping it will help with my anxiety and depression. I've been miserable for 14 months and current ADs haven't helped. Neither did the benzo. Hoping to take my last dose before the end of this month.