Seeking Help Possibly reversing damage - reinstate or stay the course

A Scattered Account of Damage From Benzodiazepines

 

I should state that I have had cognitive symptoms long before I started benzos. Brain fog and memory issues that could be related to a neuromuscular condition that I am still being investigated for. Just something to note.

 

 

I began taking benzos around November 2018 when I was experiencing breathlessness that the ER couldn't figure out. And of course when you are 21 years old and that happens, you get labeled as anxious. So I kept taking the benzo scripts they gave me with each visit and continued on. Why not right? It was improving my cognition and focus and keeping the breathlessness away. Of course when I stopped that breathlessness would come back. Looking back, I believe it was a caffeine sensitivity that brought on the panic/breathlessness. Life ruined just from coffee lmao.

 

My main goal is to decide whether to reinstate something other than Valium and taper correctly, or to stay the course. But the kindling effect is what I am worried about. A bunch more effort to just to get back to where I am now. Tapering might not even be plausible, because no doctor gives a shit. Valium is out of the question as it may have messed up my heart.

 

 

Currently I am convinced that this may not even be withdrawal, but my cognitive symptoms from before combined with something messing with my heart. I have read of benzo withdrawal causing cardiomyopathy: https://www.hindawi.com/journals/cric/2016/8153487/

 

 

Symptoms:

 

• near passing out on speaking or walking
  
• weak pulse, my whole life my heart beat has shook my torso with each beat
  
• slow pulse 50-60bpm at times
   
  
• depersonalization
  
• weakness and coordination issues
   
  

The standard withdrawal symptoms have resolved which is why I think this is not withdrawal. No more insomnia, high heart rate, shaking.

 

I've been off of Valium for a week and am having massive depersonalisation, coordination and cognitive issues. I'm failing to do simple tasks. It feels like thinking through mud. I am wondering if restarting on a low dose could remedy this. I have read that if you restart within a month to do a slower taper, some of the damage can be undone.

 

I took Ativan from november 2018 to february 2019, 2-3 mg a day(average 2) and cold turkeyed. Withdrawal was over in 2 days but the cognitive issues persisted and I began taking them again after 3 weeks(mid march). Helped somewhat and I began to taper with Valium over 6 weeks from 6 mg. I would dose less a few days of the week to test if I could stop.

 

History:

last few days before stopping, May 16th to June 4th:

2mg,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,1,2,2,1,1,1,3,10,8,2,4

 

Beginning of taper, March 22nd-April 5th:

 

4mg, 12mg, 8mg, 4mg ,2mg, 1mg, 8mg, 2mg

 

 

Around 4 mg I was feeling fine so I stopped. After 5 days I began having withdrawal symptoms which I assumed were just panic, so I was drinking for 2 days before I realized. I felt dizzy, derealized and just felt like passing out on exertion most of the day.

Speaking for too long makes me dizzy and makes my ears plug up. My pulse feels odd, like its vibrating. my heart just feels off- it can be slow at 45 bpm before bed and 130bpm while walking.

 

I really cant think of anything else to put so please browse my reddit profile where everything is posted: https://www.reddit.com/user/provolonesuperstar/posts/

I highly suggest you seek CBT; your evidenced health anxiety needs to be addressed.

Interesting.... I see someone who had become jittery over caffeine and this led to the anxiety diagnosis. I was having gluten intolerance during the time that I was put on Klonopin full time. My sense is that the irregular taper schedule as well as the use of higher dose of Ativan and then the fast taper off Valium absolutely has you in "withdrawals". Your symptoms are not surprising at all and with time; they will dissipate. I do not recommend reinstating on Ativan - and I HIGHLY recommend to NOT drink.  I am estimating that you will see much improvement if this is withdrawals at 8-12  weeks if you stay sober.  IF the symptoms persist then maybe I would entertain that it is something else.  But this is going to be about ACCEPTING this healing process and doing everything you can to protect your CNS  - no stimulants, limit social activity and eat well.  You are going to be healthier than ever when you come out but stay the course.

Hi thanks for the help. Why should stimulants be avoided? As of right now a lot of my symptoms have eased whiel two of them becoming worse: swallowing and dizziness. I am a lot more functional however.

I think as above you urgently need to address your health anxieties. Life will only get more chaotic.

Get yourself a strong counsellor ASAP ?

Dickie

A Scattered Account of Damage From Benzodiazepines

 

I should state that I have had cognitive symptoms long before I started benzos. Brain fog and memory issues that could be related to a neuromuscular condition that I am still being investigated for. Just something to note.

 

 

I began taking benzos around November 2018 when I was experiencing breathlessness that the ER couldn't figure out. And of course when you are 21 years old and that happens, you get labeled as anxious. So I kept taking the benzo scripts they gave me with each visit and continued on. Why not right? It was improving my cognition and focus and keeping the breathlessness away. Of course when I stopped that breathlessness would come back. Looking back, I believe it was a caffeine sensitivity that brought on the panic/breathlessness. Life ruined just from coffee lmao.

 

My main goal is to decide whether to reinstate something other than Valium and taper correctly, or to stay the course. But the kindling effect is what I am worried about. A bunch more effort to just to get back to where I am now. Tapering might not even be plausible, because no doctor gives a shit. Valium is out of the question as it may have messed up my heart.

 

 

Currently I am convinced that this may not even be withdrawal, but my cognitive symptoms from before combined with something messing with my heart. I have read of benzo withdrawal causing cardiomyopathy: https://www.hindawi.com/journals/cric/2016/8153487/

 

 

Symptoms:

 

• near passing out on speaking or walking
  
• weak pulse, my whole life my heart beat has shook my torso with each beat
  
• slow pulse 50-60bpm at times
   
  
• depersonalization
  
• weakness and coordination issues
   
  

The standard withdrawal symptoms have resolved which is why I think this is not withdrawal. No more insomnia, high heart rate, shaking.

 

I've been off of Valium for a week and am having massive depersonalisation, coordination and cognitive issues. I'm failing to do simple tasks. It feels like thinking through mud. I am wondering if restarting on a low dose could remedy this. I have read that if you restart within a month to do a slower taper, some of the damage can be undone.

 

I took Ativan from november 2018 to february 2019, 2-3 mg a day(average 2) and cold turkeyed. Withdrawal was over in 2 days but the cognitive issues persisted and I began taking them again after 3 weeks(mid march). Helped somewhat and I began to taper with Valium over 6 weeks from 6 mg. I would dose less a few days of the week to test if I could stop.

 

History:

last few days before stopping, May 16th to June 4th:

2mg,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,1,2,2,1,1,1,3,10,8,2,4

 

Beginning of taper, March 22nd-April 5th:

 

4mg, 12mg, 8mg, 4mg ,2mg, 1mg, 8mg, 2mg

 

 

Around 4 mg I was feeling fine so I stopped. After 5 days I began having withdrawal symptoms which I assumed were just panic, so I was drinking for 2 days before I realized. I felt dizzy, derealized and just felt like passing out on exertion most of the day.

Speaking for too long makes me dizzy and makes my ears plug up. My pulse feels odd, like its vibrating. my heart just feels off- it can be slow at 45 bpm before bed and 130bpm while walking.

 

I really cant think of anything else to put so please browse my reddit profile where everything is posted: https://www.reddit.com/user/provolonesuperstar/posts/

 

How do you know Valium messed your heart up? Have you been diagnosed with a specific condition by your physician? If not, self diagnosing is never beneficial as this can only create more anxiety & worry. Please do not read about diseases or conditions online that you think best describe the way you feel & then assume that this is what you have. Doctors go to school for year’s in order to learn how to diagnose properly & reading an article or a webpage about cardiomyopathy isn't going to teach you everything you need to know & look for when diagnosing a condition like this. Just by reading stuff like that you can convince yourself of things that couldn’t b farther from the truth. IMO, all of the symptoms you’re describing sound like they’re due strictly to benzo’s. Even reading your post I get a sense of some OCD by the way you’re analyzing every detail. IMO, benzo’s r not going to fix ANY of the issues you’re dealing with. Only mask them & postpone the inevitable. If you’re already getting symptoms like this from your usage, then reinstatement is a 50/50 shot. There’s really no easy way around this. Although I believe that once you remove benzo’s from your life completely, you can truly begin to deal with the underlying issues that drove you to take them in the first place. Although this is a personal choice. But I can say personally? I had dealt with every symptom you describe & more & now that I have recovered I’m healthier & happier than I ever was before or on benzo’s. Hope you can figure out what works for u & stick to it. Life is much better without this poison. Take care, & all the best.

Amen Eastdoesit.

 

The net can be a mixed blessing and we do have a healthy cynicism towards some medics but Jonas has caused confusion in his Gaba system with intermittent withdrawal.

 

JONAS. withdrawal symptoms last months so get on an even keel. You will not die. Going to ER and being cleared of physical illness should reassure you.

As suggested you could reinstate at a lower dose than your last and then taper with support from here.

What have you taken since 4th June?

Our brains don’t like rapid change and your symptoms sound like panic, ocd all mixed with withdrawal.

Best wishes

Dick