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When does deep sleep come back?


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Hi all

I've been off of benzos for 2 months. My sleep is only existent because of remeron, but even with remeron I'm wKing up 3-4 times a night and it seems like the only type of sleep I get is rem sleep with loooong dreams. It's like my brain immediately goes into dream state when I fall asleep. When does this improve and will it !?

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Here is an excerpt from Dr. Ashton's manual on benzo withdrawal:

 

"On withdrawal, even after years of benzodiazepine use, there is a marked rebound increase in REMS which also becomes more intense. As a result, dreams become more vivid, nightmares may occur and cause frequent awakenings during the night. This is a normal reaction to benzodiazepine withdrawal and, though unpleasant, it is a sign that recovery is beginning to take place. When the deficit of REMS is made up, usually after about 4-6 weeks, the nightmares become less frequent and gradually fade away."

 

Yes, it will improve. How long no one knows, including you. That's the hard part, but know that it WILL get better eventually.

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Hey ptsdmiracle (PM),

 

What you're describing is completely normal. Unfortunately none of us know how long the insomnia and REM rebound will last. I would expect the REM issue to start fading some relatively soon. Your sleep could turn around tomorrow or take a lot longer. It's a good sign that you're able to sleep at all and are only waking up 3-4 times per night but I understand that's way different from how you'd like your sleep to be. You'll start getting more length and more stretches without waking up slowly and with waves and windows. Hang in there until then.

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Hello Ptsdmiracle,

 

Judging by your nickname, I assume you've suffered from PTSD, and taking this into account, you're likely to have more nightmares during REM recovery than others. The other posters have given you sound advice, and I just want to share my experience with sleep (maybe it will help).

 

You say you take Remeron, which is a tetracyclic anti-depressant according to wikipedia. I have no experience with it. Did your doctor prescribe it and how well does it work for you?

 

I was going to suggest Seroquel (quetiapine) because it works really well for me, but that's only me. It's a third-generation anti-psychotic/anti-depressant, and it's a very good adjunct to benzodiazepines. I can't sleep without it at night. It's also reported to repair neurons or strengthen the connections between them (not entirely sure). The active metabolite quetiapine is metabolized into norquetiapine, which has the opposite effect during the day. It keeps your alert, and improves your mood.

 

I just wanted to share this experience with you. You may ask your doctor about it. It's highly possibly that Remeron is the sleep-aid drug for you, as it is supposed to treat PTSD. I don't know. The only thing I know for sure by practical experience is that it takes a frustrating amount of time to find the right anti-depressant that works for an individual. They're not like benzos.

 

Good luck!

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Hi. 

 

I have ptsd and in withdrawal it’s unbelievable .  I feel for you and others in the same boat. It sucks.  At month 5 I underwent ketamine treatment, changed my damn life, even in withdrawal.

 

Sleep got better for me at around 7 months. Still deal with crazy dreams, but it’s better. From about month 3 till 7 months I was taking 25mg of seroquel. I slept, but it was medicated sleep. I tapered off seroquel in a week without issues. This is only my experience, everyone is different.

 

About a month ago I purchased a weighted blanket (15lbs) and I sleep soundly. It’s absolutely amazing to get 8 hours of natural sleep once in a while.  Here are a couple links about how they help with insomnia and ptsd.  A damn blanket. . 8 hours uninterrupted (sometimes) , no meds @ 9 months. 

 

https://www.ptsduk.org/weighted-blankets-can-help-ptsd-sufferers-sleep-better/

 

http://www.ptsdjournal.com/posts/sleeping-with-weighted-blanket-helps-insomnia-and-anxiety-study-finds/

 

Mush

 

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I was going to suggest Seroquel (quetiapine) because it works really well for me, but that's only me. It's a third-generation anti-psychotic/anti-depressant, and it's a very good adjunct to benzodiazepines. I can't sleep without it at night. It's also reported to repair neurons or strengthen the connections between them (not entirely sure). The active metabolite quetiapine is metabolized into norquetiapine, which has the opposite effect during the day. It keeps your alert, and improves your mood.

 

I just wanted to share this experience with you. You may ask your doctor about it. It's highly possibly that Remeron is the sleep-aid drug for you, as it is supposed to treat PTSD. I don't know. The only thing I know for sure by practical experience is that it takes a frustrating amount of time to find the right anti-depressant that works for an individual. They're not like benzos.

 

Good luck!

 

holy crap i never heard worse advice...

 

to anyone considering seroquel/quetiapine to help with sleep, i would highly suggest that you check out the plethora of studies and patient survival (and those who didn't make it) stories all over the web online and in medical literature before even taking one pill. please educate yourself on the metabolic effects this antipsychotic medication causes and weigh the pros (? are there any) against the cons very very careiully because i have been the victim of metabolic syndrome caused by it and i am a lucky one who's been able to partially reverse some of the damage by making drastic diet and lifestyle changes... but many are not as fortunate and have irreversible results from taking it such as diabetes, mixed hyperlipidemia, high blood cholesterols especially triglycerides, dementia, heart disease and failure, suicide and extreme weight gain. mine was over 70 pounds. there's a lot more but those are the most common.

 

seroquel over 2 decades also caused a false or misdiagnosis of multiple sclerosis in me and even showed positive lesions/scar tissue marks in 4 sets of mri's that looked like ms, complete with symptoms of urinary and bowel incontinence, muscle weakness and fatigue requiring use of a rolling walker and cane to ambulate, severe vertigo, numbness in extremities and genital area, etc. all of which disappeared when my dose was reduced from 400mg nightly to under 85mg a day. even the mri radiologist confided to me that the lesions/scar tissues in my brain that showed on mri could be cause by medication i was taking at that time (seroquel) but that he could lose his job if i told the dr's he said that. this may or may not happen to everyone on seroquel for that high a dose for that long a period but in ANY case, please please please be cautious when you read the advice given on this forum and anywhere else, whether from BB members or from professionals, because i hate for anyone else to suffer like  i have, because i took someone's advice that "sounded legit".

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Thank you all for the advice.

 

I Do think every medicine has its good and bad side, potential withdrawal effects, and side effects. Having learned the lesson the hard way of trying to "fix" sleep with a pill and it backfiring on me horrifically, I am leaning toward eventually being able to sleep naturally, although I'm not sure how long it will take and if I will ever be able to again...

 

My plan is to wean off of mirtazapine first and then go from there. Just cut in half a week ago and so far nothing drastic is happening (good or bad), which I guess it's  good lol.

 

I am now starting Month four off of benzo...praying that healing continues to happen and im not stuck where I am forever

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I was going to suggest Seroquel (quetiapine) because it works really well for me, but that's only me. It's a third-generation anti-psychotic/anti-depressant, and it's a very good adjunct to benzodiazepines. I can't sleep without it at night. It's also reported to repair neurons or strengthen the connections between them (not entirely sure). The active metabolite quetiapine is metabolized into norquetiapine, which has the opposite effect during the day. It keeps your alert, and improves your mood.

 

I just wanted to share this experience with you. You may ask your doctor about it. It's highly possibly that Remeron is the sleep-aid drug for you, as it is supposed to treat PTSD. I don't know. The only thing I know for sure by practical experience is that it takes a frustrating amount of time to find the right anti-depressant that works for an individual. They're not like benzos.

 

Good luck!

 

holy crap i never heard worse advice...

 

to anyone considering seroquel/quetiapine to help with sleep, i would highly suggest that you check out the plethora of studies and patient survival (and those who didn't make it) stories all over the web online and in medical literature before even taking one pill. please educate yourself on the metabolic effects this antipsychotic medication causes and weigh the pros (? are there any) against the cons very very careiully because i have been the victim of metabolic syndrome caused by it and i am a lucky one who's been able to partially reverse some of the damage by making drastic diet and lifestyle changes... but many are not as fortunate and have irreversible results from taking it such as diabetes, mixed hyperlipidemia, high blood cholesterols especially triglycerides, dementia, heart disease and failure, suicide and extreme weight gain. mine was over 70 pounds. there's a lot more but those are the most common.

 

seroquel over 2 decades also caused a false or misdiagnosis of multiple sclerosis in me and even showed positive lesions/scar tissue marks in 4 sets of mri's that looked like ms, complete with symptoms of urinary and bowel incontinence, muscle weakness and fatigue requiring use of a rolling walker and cane to ambulate, severe vertigo, numbness in extremities and genital area, etc. all of which disappeared when my dose was reduced from 400mg nightly to under 85mg a day. even the mri radiologist confided to me that the lesions/scar tissues in my brain that showed on mri could be cause by medication i was taking at that time (seroquel) but that he could lose his job if i told the dr's he said that. this may or may not happen to everyone on seroquel for that high a dose for that long a period but in ANY case, please please please be cautious when you read the advice given on this forum and anywhere else, whether from BB members or from professionals, because i hate for anyone else to suffer like  i have, because i took someone's advice that "sounded legit".

 

Thank you nomoredrugs. I needed to read this.

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I was going to suggest Seroquel (quetiapine) because it works really well for me, but that's only me. It's a third-generation anti-psychotic/anti-depressant, and it's a very good adjunct to benzodiazepines. I can't sleep without it at night. It's also reported to repair neurons or strengthen the connections between them (not entirely sure). The active metabolite quetiapine is metabolized into norquetiapine, which has the opposite effect during the day. It keeps your alert, and improves your mood.

 

I just wanted to share this experience with you. You may ask your doctor about it. It's highly possibly that Remeron is the sleep-aid drug for you, as it is supposed to treat PTSD. I don't know. The only thing I know for sure by practical experience is that it takes a frustrating amount of time to find the right anti-depressant that works for an individual. They're not like benzos.

 

Good luck!

 

holy crap i never heard worse advice...

 

to anyone considering seroquel/quetiapine to help with sleep, i would highly suggest that you check out the plethora of studies and patient survival (and those who didn't make it) stories all over the web online and in medical literature before even taking one pill. please educate yourself on the metabolic effects this antipsychotic medication causes and weigh the pros (? are there any) against the cons very very careiully because i have been the victim of metabolic syndrome caused by it and i am a lucky one who's been able to partially reverse some of the damage by making drastic diet and lifestyle changes... but many are not as fortunate and have irreversible results from taking it such as diabetes, mixed hyperlipidemia, high blood cholesterols especially triglycerides, dementia, heart disease and failure, suicide and extreme weight gain. mine was over 70 pounds. there's a lot more but those are the most common.

 

seroquel over 2 decades also caused a false or misdiagnosis of multiple sclerosis in me and even showed positive lesions/scar tissue marks in 4 sets of mri's that looked like ms, complete with symptoms of urinary and bowel incontinence, muscle weakness and fatigue requiring use of a rolling walker and cane to ambulate, severe vertigo, numbness in extremities and genital area, etc. all of which disappeared when my dose was reduced from 400mg nightly to under 85mg a day. even the mri radiologist confided to me that the lesions/scar tissues in my brain that showed on mri could be cause by medication i was taking at that time (seroquel) but that he could lose his job if i told the dr's he said that. this may or may not happen to everyone on seroquel for that high a dose for that long a period but in ANY case, please please please be cautious when you read the advice given on this forum and anywhere else, whether from BB members or from professionals, because i hate for anyone else to suffer like  i have, because i took someone's advice that "sounded legit".

 

Thank you nomoredrugs. I needed to read this.

 

valiumnomore , my pleasure. goodness gracious...

 

all the suffering i've (and MANY THOUSANDS of others) endured and am still coping with as i taper off the antipsychotic seroquel, is just so enormous and at times devastating...yes, that is an accurate word to decribe its effects on me and my friends and family over 2 decades of use, i just can't sit by and let the advice to start taking it for sleep from someone who freely hands out medical advice and is still admittedly on large doses of mind altering drug/s, so that even though the advice is given as if it is sound, we really must examine the source.all of us. and i say we because i mean it for myself as well as anyone, this is a place to come for support but not for advice from those ill equipped to give it. that person has been warned a few times but i really hate to think of people innocently reading that bad advice and following it and then suffering like so many have and are still suffering. the remeron advice was not sound either. i know in the rules of the board it says something about us not giving advice to start or stop any medication to other members!

 

anyways, one big problem about taking anything that acts on our GABA receptors during taper and post-taper, while our body is seeking it's own balance of homeostasis like before the meds, is that if we add more shortcuts/drugs to make the path "easier", it doesn't actually work, it may give a temporary little relief but it is shortlived and only delays the body reaching that homeostasis becasue the body must now adjust to the new additional chemical/food/substance.  it just prolongs the healing. basically, like giving methadone to a heroin addict to get them off...it rarely works because the heroin addict just gets minor relief from heroin wd's and is now addicted to methadone. now the methadone addict must go through methadone wd's...and so on.

 

btw i like your screen name  :smitten:

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After 3 years off I am glad to get 6 to 7 hours a night, sometimes less .

I don't think the usual 7 to 8 hours won't return, no problem you can do better things than sleeping.

Now I have time for breakfast, neven need to set the alarm, I always wake up before 7.

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I was going to suggest Seroquel (quetiapine) because it works really well for me, but that's only me. It's a third-generation anti-psychotic/anti-depressant, and it's a very good adjunct to benzodiazepines. I can't sleep without it at night. It's also reported to repair neurons or strengthen the connections between them (not entirely sure). The active metabolite quetiapine is metabolized into norquetiapine, which has the opposite effect during the day. It keeps your alert, and improves your mood.

 

I just wanted to share this experience with you. You may ask your doctor about it. It's highly possibly that Remeron is the sleep-aid drug for you, as it is supposed to treat PTSD. I don't know. The only thing I know for sure by practical experience is that it takes a frustrating amount of time to find the right anti-depressant that works for an individual. They're not like benzos.

 

Good luck!

 

holy crap i never heard worse advice...

 

to anyone considering seroquel/quetiapine to help with sleep, i would highly suggest that you check out the plethora of studies and patient survival (and those who didn't make it) stories all over the web online and in medical literature before even taking one pill. please educate yourself on the metabolic effects this antipsychotic medication causes and weigh the pros (? are there any) against the cons very very careiully because i have been the victim of metabolic syndrome caused by it and i am a lucky one who's been able to partially reverse some of the damage by making drastic diet and lifestyle changes... but many are not as fortunate and have irreversible results from taking it such as diabetes, mixed hyperlipidemia, high blood cholesterols especially triglycerides, dementia, heart disease and failure, suicide and extreme weight gain. mine was over 70 pounds. there's a lot more but those are the most common.

 

seroquel over 2 decades also caused a false or misdiagnosis of multiple sclerosis in me and even showed positive lesions/scar tissue marks in 4 sets of mri's that looked like ms, complete with symptoms of urinary and bowel incontinence, muscle weakness and fatigue requiring use of a rolling walker and cane to ambulate, severe vertigo, numbness in extremities and genital area, etc. all of which disappeared when my dose was reduced from 400mg nightly to under 85mg a day. even the mri radiologist confided to me that the lesions/scar tissues in my brain that showed on mri could be cause by medication i was taking at that time (seroquel) but that he could lose his job if i told the dr's he said that. this may or may not happen to everyone on seroquel for that high a dose for that long a period but in ANY case, please please please be cautious when you read the advice given on this forum and anywhere else, whether from BB members or from professionals, because i hate for anyone else to suffer like  i have, because i took someone's advice that "sounded legit".

 

Thank you nomoredrugs. I needed to read this.

 

valiumnomore , my pleasure. goodness gracious...

 

all the suffering i've (and MANY THOUSANDS of others) endured and am still coping with as i taper off the antipsychotic seroquel, is just so enormous and at times devastating...yes, that is an accurate word to decribe its effects on me and my friends and family over 2 decades of use, i just can't sit by and let the advice to start taking it for sleep from someone who freely hands out medical advice and is still admittedly on large doses of mind altering drug/s, so that even though the advice is given as if it is sound, we really must examine the source.all of us. and i say we because i mean it for myself as well as anyone, this is a place to come for support but not for advice from those ill equipped to give it. that person has been warned a few times but i really hate to think of people innocently reading that bad advice and following it and then suffering like so many have and are still suffering. the remeron advice was not sound either. i know in the rules of the board it says something about us not giving advice to start or stop any medication to other members!

 

anyways, one big problem about taking anything that acts on our GABA receptors during taper and post-taper, while our body is seeking it's own balance of homeostasis like before the meds, is that if we add more shortcuts/drugs to make the path "easier", it doesn't actually work, it may give a temporary little relief but it is shortlived and only delays the body reaching that homeostasis becasue the body must now adjust to the new additional chemical/food/substance.  it just prolongs the healing. basically, like giving methadone to a heroin addict to get them off...it rarely works because the heroin addict just gets minor relief from heroin wd's and is now addicted to methadone. now the methadone addict must go through methadone wd's...and so on.

 

btw i like your screen name  :smitten:

 

Thank you! OK in the end I didn't follow your wise advice. I understand everything you say but I've just come out of 2 weeks in acute WD, updosing to no avail, rescue doses, thinking that my life was over, cancelling all my working appointments. Yesterday afternoon it started to lift up after two weeks (I thought it would never). A new psych I've gone to specialized in addictions, I went yesterday, in great fear of my recent acute wd, so much so that I was planning to updose from 1.4 to 2.5 valium!! And the man said no way updose EVER and take the gabapentin to ease the wds. He said it's much easier to come off of than the benzos. This I tend to believe as I don't find any youtube videos of people dying and wanting to kill themselves due to gabapentin addiction. I know your advice will be no way, and so many people have died and whatever, but look, after these two weeks in hell (AND updosing), I know I wont make it with this system. If I ever go into acute again I know I will updose. I'm taking the gabapentin and taking my chances. But I understand your position as it is also mine but desperate times call for desperate measures.

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After 3 years off I am glad to get 6 to 7 hours a night, sometimes less .

I don't think the usual 7 to 8 hours won't return, no problem you can do better things than sleeping.

Now I have time for breakfast, neven need to set the alarm, I always wake up before 7.

 

The same with me Erik, I can only sleep 6/7 hours...but that's OK, I accept that that's what I got after benzos. Maybe someday it will get better...

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After 3 years off I am glad to get 6 to 7 hours a night, sometimes less .

I don't think the usual 7 to 8 hours won't return, no problem you can do better things than sleeping.

Now I have time for breakfast, neven need to set the alarm, I always wake up before 7.

Congrats! I would be thrilled to get a consistent 6 hours of sleep for the remainder of my life.  :)
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I was going to suggest Seroquel (quetiapine) because it works really well for me, but that's only me. It's a third-generation anti-psychotic/anti-depressant, and it's a very good adjunct to benzodiazepines. I can't sleep without it at night. It's also reported to repair neurons or strengthen the connections between them (not entirely sure). The active metabolite quetiapine is metabolized into norquetiapine, which has the opposite effect during the day. It keeps your alert, and improves your mood.

 

I just wanted to share this experience with you. You may ask your doctor about it. It's highly possibly that Remeron is the sleep-aid drug for you, as it is supposed to treat PTSD. I don't know. The only thing I know for sure by practical experience is that it takes a frustrating amount of time to find the right anti-depressant that works for an individual. They're not like benzos.

 

Good luck!

 

holy crap i never heard worse advice...

 

to anyone considering seroquel/quetiapine to help with sleep, i would highly suggest that you check out the plethora of studies and patient survival (and those who didn't make it) stories all over the web online and in medical literature before even taking one pill. please educate yourself on the metabolic effects this antipsychotic medication causes and weigh the pros (? are there any) against the cons very very careiully because i have been the victim of metabolic syndrome caused by it and i am a lucky one who's been able to partially reverse some of the damage by making drastic diet and lifestyle changes... but many are not as fortunate and have irreversible results from taking it such as diabetes, mixed hyperlipidemia, high blood cholesterols especially triglycerides, dementia, heart disease and failure, suicide and extreme weight gain. mine was over 70 pounds. there's a lot more but those are the most common.

 

seroquel over 2 decades also caused a false or misdiagnosis of multiple sclerosis in me and even showed positive lesions/scar tissue marks in 4 sets of mri's that looked like ms, complete with symptoms of urinary and bowel incontinence, muscle weakness and fatigue requiring use of a rolling walker and cane to ambulate, severe vertigo, numbness in extremities and genital area, etc. all of which disappeared when my dose was reduced from 400mg nightly to under 85mg a day. even the mri radiologist confided to me that the lesions/scar tissues in my brain that showed on mri could be cause by medication i was taking at that time (seroquel) but that he could lose his job if i told the dr's he said that. this may or may not happen to everyone on seroquel for that high a dose for that long a period but in ANY case, please please please be cautious when you read the advice given on this forum and anywhere else, whether from BB members or from professionals, because i hate for anyone else to suffer like  i have, because i took someone's advice that "sounded legit".

 

Thank you nomoredrugs. I needed to read this.

 

valiumnomore , my pleasure. goodness gracious...

 

all the suffering i've (and MANY THOUSANDS of others) endured and am still coping with as i taper off the antipsychotic seroquel, is just so enormous and at times devastating...yes, that is an accurate word to decribe its effects on me and my friends and family over 2 decades of use, i just can't sit by and let the advice to start taking it for sleep from someone who freely hands out medical advice and is still admittedly on large doses of mind altering drug/s, so that even though the advice is given as if it is sound, we really must examine the source.all of us. and i say we because i mean it for myself as well as anyone, this is a place to come for support but not for advice from those ill equipped to give it. that person has been warned a few times but i really hate to think of people innocently reading that bad advice and following it and then suffering like so many have and are still suffering. the remeron advice was not sound either. i know in the rules of the board it says something about us not giving advice to start or stop any medication to other members!

 

anyways, one big problem about taking anything that acts on our GABA receptors during taper and post-taper, while our body is seeking it's own balance of homeostasis like before the meds, is that if we add more shortcuts/drugs to make the path "easier", it doesn't actually work, it may give a temporary little relief but it is shortlived and only delays the body reaching that homeostasis becasue the body must now adjust to the new additional chemical/food/substance.  it just prolongs the healing. basically, like giving methadone to a heroin addict to get them off...it rarely works because the heroin addict just gets minor relief from heroin wd's and is now addicted to methadone. now the methadone addict must go through methadone wd's...and so on.

 

btw i like your screen name  :smitten:

 

Thank you! OK in the end I didn't follow your wise advice. I understand everything you say but I've just come out of 2 weeks in acute WD with suicidal ideation, updosing to no avail, rescue doses, thinking that my life was over, cancelling all my working appointments. Yesterday afternoon it started to lift up after two weeks (I thought it would never). A new psych I've gone to specialized in addictions, I went yesterday, in great fear of my recent acute wd, so much so that I was planning to updose from 1.4 to 2.5 valium!! And the man said no way updose EVER and take the gabapentin to ease the wds. He said it's much easier to come off of than the benzos. This I tend to believe as I don't find any youtube videos of people dying and wanting to kill themselves due to gabapentin addiction. I know your advice will be no way, and so many people have died and whatever, but look, after these two weeks in hell (AND updosing), I know I wont make it with this system. If I ever go into acute again I know I will updose. I'm taking the gabapentin and taking my chances. But I understand your position as it is also mine but desperate times call for desperate measures.

 

hey val

 

well, good luck.  :hug: maybe you'll be the exception, and not have the same effects on gabapentin that the scientists just released about it. (although my post was about seroquel, the same applies to gabapentin, and actually any pschycoactive drug for that matter.)  i would reccomend to you the same exact thing as before that i posted about seroquel, do your homework on all the drugs you take or consider taking ok? gabapentin is now known to prevent the growth of new brain neuronal synapses and shrinks the brain tissue. in layman's terms, it stunts your growth mentally and retards healing. which is basically like taking an antidote to healing during wd...in a way. that's why i decided to taper off of it, because it retards the healing process and it's not a theory or a rumor anymore, it's been proven and scientific and medical journals have come out with this info as well as many dr's...probably because they are anticipating the lawsuits to come.

 

i think that's probably why a lot of the dr's are now coming out with a more accepting stance to helping patients get off their psychoactive meds that have horrible health effects, because of litigation/lawsuits that are coming and they want to be on the good side when that comes down. wise choice on their part! personally, my dr of 15 years (my internal medicine dr) is the one who writes my RX's for my psych meds, since i fired my psychiatrist who was paid by the major drug manufacturers to go to conventions and give speeches to other prescribers and basically got paid to drug his patients....same old story as many other psychiatrists. he actually lied to me outright about seroquel on several points when i finally confronted him about my drug-induced metabolic induced syndrome (a direct effect of seroquel for the amount of time i was on it at high doses) and other things it caused. i am lucky to have a dr who will write my rx's until i finish my tapers and who is taking mad notes and learning how a successful taper off of these meds is done and is sharing the notes with her colleages. i hope my experience will asssist future patients in their tapers.

 

if you need help tapering off of gabapentin in the future, there's a whole seperate thread/board here that is great help, and i have a good spreadsheet also if you want help.  :thumbsup:

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No more drugs. thank you,

 

Well you know, I've finally decided NOT to take the gabapentin because I've spent all day reading many stories, some are good but many are very very bad and it seems very hard to come off of it for some (and I'm ALWAYS in those "some"). Went to a new psych dr today (it's become a new addiction to me). No really this one I really liked. So he said yes take the trazodone (that the other one prescribed) but not the gabapentin because it wont do anything. I don't know if it won't do anything but I do know it's hard to come off of. I guess I'll take the trazodone 25 mgs to try help with sleep. I'm feeling the anxiety come again. Don't know how tonight is going to go.

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No more drugs. thank you,

 

Well you know, I've finally decided NOT to take the gabapentin because I've spent all day reading many stories, some are good but many are very very bad and it seems very hard to come off of it for some (and I'm ALWAYS in those "some"). Went to a new psych dr today (it's become a new addiction to me). No really this one I really liked. So he said yes take the trazodone (that the other one prescribed) but not the gabapentin because it wont do anything. I don't know if it won't do anything but I do know it's hard to come off of. I guess I'll take the trazodone 25 mgs to try help with sleep. I'm feeling the anxiety come again. Don't know how tonight is going to go.

 

hey Val

 

i'm so glad you did your homework, it's the best thing you can do to be your own advocate and protect yourself. having a good friend as an advocate is also nice, if you can find one, but there will never be a better person to look out for your best interests than yourself!

 

trazadone was a nightmare for  me but i only mean it in the literal sense, it gave me vivid nightmares so i quit taking it after a few months. i don't remember that time very much, i guess all the other meds kinda wiped out my memory card lol, but anyways my records do show i took it for a little less than 3 months. i just rememeber it giving me bad dreams that i couldn't seem to shake.  but it helps a lot of people to sleep when they are running out of options. it might cause a little tapering discomfort but probably nothing as bad as the harder drugs/meds. 

 

maybe something for you to try for natural sleep aid is a little swig of tart cherry juice or 2 tablesoons/1 ounce of tart cherry juice concentrate (not extract) in some water or apple juice before bed. i use that to mask the taste of my seroquel (very bitter when powdered and made into a suspension) that i take a liquid dose of 3x a day, and i found that it masks the taste very well but an unexpected happy additional effect is it is mildly sedating! i wasn't trying for that but, hey it's a great natural anti-anxiety fruit so i'll take it!  :thumbsup: it's like a bonus lol!

 

a lot of people have been saying how montmorency tart cherry juice concentrate or juice before bed helps them fall asleep, so i knew it wasn't going to hurt anything to try using it to mask my seroquel suspension. also since i am taking about 1 ounce of it 3x a day with my seroquel suspension, it kind f keeps my blood sugar more even, since it has a lot of carbs in it, so instead of me waiting to feel hungry or get a headache to alert me it's time to eat, my blood sugar stays a little more even between meals. i guess that's an extra bonus! (insert pac man bleeps and pings here)

 

haha today is the new season 3 of "Stranger Things" on netflix so i have 1980's themed video game noises in my head  :2funny:

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No more drugs. thank you,

 

Well you know, I've finally decided NOT to take the gabapentin because I've spent all day reading many stories, some are good but many are very very bad and it seems very hard to come off of it for some (and I'm ALWAYS in those "some"). Went to a new psych dr today (it's become a new addiction to me). No really this one I really liked. So he said yes take the trazodone (that the other one prescribed) but not the gabapentin because it wont do anything. I don't know if it won't do anything but I do know it's hard to come off of. I guess I'll take the trazodone 25 mgs to try help with sleep. I'm feeling the anxiety come again. Don't know how tonight is going to go.

 

hey Val

 

i'm so glad you did your homework, it's the best thing you can do to be your own advocate and protect yourself. having a good friend as an advocate is also nice, if you can find one, but there will never be a better person to look out for your best interests than yourself!

 

trazadone was a nightmare for  me but i only mean it in the literal sense, it gave me vivid nightmares so i quit taking it after a few months. i don't remember that time very much, i guess all the other meds kinda wiped out my memory card lol, but anyways my records do show i took it for a little less than 3 months. i just rememeber it giving me bad dreams that i couldn't seem to shake.  but it helps a lot of people to sleep when they are running out of options. it might cause a little tapering discomfort but probably nothing as bad as the harder drugs/meds. 

 

maybe something for you to try for natural sleep aid is a little swig of tart cherry juice or 2 tablesoons/1 ounce of tart cherry juice concentrate (not extract) in some water or apple juice before bed. i use that to mask the taste of my seroquel (very bitter when powdered and made into a suspension) that i take a liquid dose of 3x a day, and i found that it masks the taste very well but an unexpected happy additional effect is it is mildly sedating! i wasn't trying for that but, hey it's a great natural anti-anxiety fruit so i'll take it!  :thumbsup: it's like a bonus lol!

 

a lot of people have been saying how montmorency tart cherry juice concentrate or juice before bed helps them fall asleep, so i knew it wasn't going to hurt anything to try using it to mask my seroquel suspension. also since i am taking about 1 ounce of it 3x a day with my seroquel suspension, it kind f keeps my blood sugar more even, since it has a lot of carbs in it, so instead of me waiting to feel hungry or get a headache to alert me it's time to eat, my blood sugar stays a little more even between meals. i guess that's an extra bonus! (insert pac man bleeps and pings here)

 

haha today is the new season 3 of "Stranger Things" on netflix so i have 1980's themed video game noises in my head  :2funny:

 

Nomoredrugs, 15 minutes ago at 5:30 am I took the gabapentin. I can't live like this. It might go wrong but I can't live like this. You see those youtube videos with people in severe withdrawal who can sleep nothing because their mind and emotions are tormenting them with withdrawal ? Well that's me. That's me for a whole month now. I just can't go on. I'm alone here, if I had someone to lean on but what? Months like this? A year? I can't do it. Lets see if the gabapentin works and if now IDK.

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No more drugs. thank you,

 

Well you know, I've finally decided NOT to take the gabapentin because I've spent all day reading many stories, some are good but many are very very bad and it seems very hard to come off of it for some (and I'm ALWAYS in those "some"). Went to a new psych dr today (it's become a new addiction to me). No really this one I really liked. So he said yes take the trazodone (that the other one prescribed) but not the gabapentin because it wont do anything. I don't know if it won't do anything but I do know it's hard to come off of. I guess I'll take the trazodone 25 mgs to try help with sleep. I'm feeling the anxiety come again. Don't know how tonight is going to go.

 

hey Val

 

i'm so glad you did your homework, it's the best thing you can do to be your own advocate and protect yourself. having a good friend as an advocate is also nice, if you can find one, but there will never be a better person to look out for your best interests than yourself!

 

trazadone was a nightmare for  me but i only mean it in the literal sense, it gave me vivid nightmares so i quit taking it after a few months. i don't remember that time very much, i guess all the other meds kinda wiped out my memory card lol, but anyways my records do show i took it for a little less than 3 months. i just rememeber it giving me bad dreams that i couldn't seem to shake.  but it helps a lot of people to sleep when they are running out of options. it might cause a little tapering discomfort but probably nothing as bad as the harder drugs/meds. 

 

maybe something for you to try for natural sleep aid is a little swig of tart cherry juice or 2 tablesoons/1 ounce of tart cherry juice concentrate (not extract) in some water or apple juice before bed. i use that to mask the taste of my seroquel (very bitter when powdered and made into a suspension) that i take a liquid dose of 3x a day, and i found that it masks the taste very well but an unexpected happy additional effect is it is mildly sedating! i wasn't trying for that but, hey it's a great natural anti-anxiety fruit so i'll take it!  :thumbsup: it's like a bonus lol!

 

a lot of people have been saying how montmorency tart cherry juice concentrate or juice before bed helps them fall asleep, so i knew it wasn't going to hurt anything to try using it to mask my seroquel suspension. also since i am taking about 1 ounce of it 3x a day with my seroquel suspension, it kind f keeps my blood sugar more even, since it has a lot of carbs in it, so instead of me waiting to feel hungry or get a headache to alert me it's time to eat, my blood sugar stays a little more even between meals. i guess that's an extra bonus! (insert pac man bleeps and pings here)

 

haha today is the new season 3 of "Stranger Things" on netflix so i have 1980's themed video game noises in my head  :2funny:

 

Nomoredrugs, 15 minutes ago at 5:30 am I took the gabapentin. I can't live like this. It might go wrong but I can't live like this. You see those youtube videos with people in severe withdrawal who can sleep nothing because their mind and emotions are tormenting them with withdrawal ? Well that's me. That's me for a whole month now. I just can't go on. I'm alone here, if I had someone to lean on but what? Months like this? A year? I can't do it. Lets see if the gabapentin works and if now IDK.

 

hey Val

 

just be kind to yourself. your journey is unique, and you will learn  by trial and error just like the rest of us all do. i'm rooting for ya! sleep well my new friend. i'll be here and we will be here if/when you need us for the next step. yhere is no rush, despite how urgent it feels right now, so do you and we'll figure it out as you go. we are just humans and none of us has it all figured out. but rememeber, you are your best advocate. you can take your power back whenever you are ready ok? we'll be here and one day you will be here for others going thru your current strife. sleep well tonite :smitten:

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No more drugs. thank you,

 

Well you know, I've finally decided NOT to take the gabapentin because I've spent all day reading many stories, some are good but many are very very bad and it seems very hard to come off of it for some (and I'm ALWAYS in those "some"). Went to a new psych dr today (it's become a new addiction to me). No really this one I really liked. So he said yes take the trazodone (that the other one prescribed) but not the gabapentin because it wont do anything. I don't know if it won't do anything but I do know it's hard to come off of. I guess I'll take the trazodone 25 mgs to try help with sleep. I'm feeling the anxiety come again. Don't know how tonight is going to go.

 

hey Val

 

i'm so glad you did your homework, it's the best thing you can do to be your own advocate and protect yourself. having a good friend as an advocate is also nice, if you can find one, but there will never be a better person to look out for your best interests than yourself!

 

trazadone was a nightmare for  me but i only mean it in the literal sense, it gave me vivid nightmares so i quit taking it after a few months. i don't remember that time very much, i guess all the other meds kinda wiped out my memory card lol, but anyways my records do show i took it for a little less than 3 months. i just rememeber it giving me bad dreams that i couldn't seem to shake.  but it helps a lot of people to sleep when they are running out of options. it might cause a little tapering discomfort but probably nothing as bad as the harder drugs/meds. 

 

maybe something for you to try for natural sleep aid is a little swig of tart cherry juice or 2 tablesoons/1 ounce of tart cherry juice concentrate (not extract) in some water or apple juice before bed. i use that to mask the taste of my seroquel (very bitter when powdered and made into a suspension) that i take a liquid dose of 3x a day, and i found that it masks the taste very well but an unexpected happy additional effect is it is mildly sedating! i wasn't trying for that but, hey it's a great natural anti-anxiety fruit so i'll take it!  :thumbsup: it's like a bonus lol!

 

a lot of people have been saying how montmorency tart cherry juice concentrate or juice before bed helps them fall asleep, so i knew it wasn't going to hurt anything to try using it to mask my seroquel suspension. also since i am taking about 1 ounce of it 3x a day with my seroquel suspension, it kind f keeps my blood sugar more even, since it has a lot of carbs in it, so instead of me waiting to feel hungry or get a headache to alert me it's time to eat, my blood sugar stays a little more even between meals. i guess that's an extra bonus! (insert pac man bleeps and pings here)

 

haha today is the new season 3 of "Stranger Things" on netflix so i have 1980's themed video game noises in my head  :2funny:

 

Nomoredrugs, 15 minutes ago at 5:30 am I took the gabapentin. I can't live like this. It might go wrong but I can't live like this. You see those youtube videos with people in severe withdrawal who can sleep nothing because their mind and emotions are tormenting them with withdrawal ? Well that's me. That's me for a whole month now. I just can't go on. I'm alone here, if I had someone to lean on but what? Months like this? A year? I can't do it. Lets see if the gabapentin works and if now IDK.

 

hey Val

 

just be kind to yourself. your journey is unique, and you will learn  by trial and error just like the rest of us all do. i'm rooting for ya! sleep well my new friend. i'll be here and we will be here if/when you need us for the next step. yhere is no rush, despite how urgent it feels right now, so do you and we'll figure it out as you go. we are just humans and none of us has it all figured out. but rememeber, you are your best advocate. you can take your power back whenever you are ready ok? we'll be here and one day you will be here for others going thru your current strife. sleep well tonite :smitten:

 

Thank you normoredrugs. I have slept nothing and the mental torture has continued while I lay with my eyes closed these two hours. Time to get up here. I never would've thought two months ago that I'd be living in this hell. Never. Thank you for your kind words. They mean so much. Have you ever gone through this state of mental torture? If you look at benzo withdrawal videos that's what I'm living. Severe withdrawal. It's as if I had cold turkeyed. Have a good day, or night, I don't know where you are, and God bless you for your good heart.

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No more drugs. thank you,

 

Well you know, I've finally decided NOT to take the gabapentin because I've spent all day reading many stories, some are good but many are very very bad and it seems very hard to come off of it for some (and I'm ALWAYS in those "some"). Went to a new psych dr today (it's become a new addiction to me). No really this one I really liked. So he said yes take the trazodone (that the other one prescribed) but not the gabapentin because it wont do anything. I don't know if it won't do anything but I do know it's hard to come off of. I guess I'll take the trazodone 25 mgs to try help with sleep. I'm feeling the anxiety come again. Don't know how tonight is going to go.

 

hey Val

 

i'm so glad you did your homework, it's the best thing you can do to be your own advocate and protect yourself. having a good friend as an advocate is also nice, if you can find one, but there will never be a better person to look out for your best interests than yourself!

 

trazadone was a nightmare for  me but i only mean it in the literal sense, it gave me vivid nightmares so i quit taking it after a few months. i don't remember that time very much, i guess all the other meds kinda wiped out my memory card lol, but anyways my records do show i took it for a little less than 3 months. i just rememeber it giving me bad dreams that i couldn't seem to shake.  but it helps a lot of people to sleep when they are running out of options. it might cause a little tapering discomfort but probably nothing as bad as the harder drugs/meds. 

 

maybe something for you to try for natural sleep aid is a little swig of tart cherry juice or 2 tablesoons/1 ounce of tart cherry juice concentrate (not extract) in some water or apple juice before bed. i use that to mask the taste of my seroquel (very bitter when powdered and made into a suspension) that i take a liquid dose of 3x a day, and i found that it masks the taste very well but an unexpected happy additional effect is it is mildly sedating! i wasn't trying for that but, hey it's a great natural anti-anxiety fruit so i'll take it!  :thumbsup: it's like a bonus lol!

 

a lot of people have been saying how montmorency tart cherry juice concentrate or juice before bed helps them fall asleep, so i knew it wasn't going to hurt anything to try using it to mask my seroquel suspension. also since i am taking about 1 ounce of it 3x a day with my seroquel suspension, it kind f keeps my blood sugar more even, since it has a lot of carbs in it, so instead of me waiting to feel hungry or get a headache to alert me it's time to eat, my blood sugar stays a little more even between meals. i guess that's an extra bonus! (insert pac man bleeps and pings here)

 

haha today is the new season 3 of "Stranger Things" on netflix so i have 1980's themed video game noises in my head  :2funny:

 

Nomoredrugs, 15 minutes ago at 5:30 am I took the gabapentin. I can't live like this. It might go wrong but I can't live like this. You see those youtube videos with people in severe withdrawal who can sleep nothing because their mind and emotions are tormenting them with withdrawal ? Well that's me. That's me for a whole month now. I just can't go on. I'm alone here, if I had someone to lean on but what? Months like this? A year? I can't do it. Lets see if the gabapentin works and if now IDK.

 

hey Val

 

just be kind to yourself. your journey is unique, and you will learn  by trial and error just like the rest of us all do. i'm rooting for ya! sleep well my new friend. i'll be here and we will be here if/when you need us for the next step. yhere is no rush, despite how urgent it feels right now, so do you and we'll figure it out as you go. we are just humans and none of us has it all figured out. but rememeber, you are your best advocate. you can take your power back whenever you are ready ok? we'll be here and one day you will be here for others going thru your current strife. sleep well tonite :smitten:

 

Thank you normoredrugs. I have slept nothing and the mental torture has continued while I lay with my eyes closed these two hours. Time to get up here. I never would've thought two months ago that I'd be living in this hell. Never. Thank you for your kind words. They mean so much. Have you ever gone through this state of mental torture? If you look at benzo withdrawal videos that's what I'm living. Severe withdrawal. It's as if I had cold turkeyed. Have a good day, or night, I don't know where you are, and God bless you for your good heart.

 

hey Val,

 

no not with benzos..not yet. i am saving my clonazepam taper for last. but i have gone thru the dark night of the soul while tapering off of a high dose of seroquel down to a much lower dose...

 

it was after going from 400mg down to under about 85mg of seroquel...see one of the side effects of antipsychotics like seroquel ay high doses is they can cause you to hear voices. they can cause psychosis and psychotic symptoms in non psychotic people. that's what happened to me. i never heard the voice of "God" speaking to me until i got on seroquel. for years i thought i was hearing God's voice and felt very very close and had the most profound and moving spiritual/religious experiences until one day at just under 85mg, i was on my floor praying fervently, and there was nothing...silence. i was confused..i prayed the next  day and the next but nothing, nada. i was utterly devastated, felt God had abandoned me, wanted to die and thought i was going to hell. then i realised the voice i thought was God was a psychosis caused by seroquel, which disappeared after i got to a low enough dose. i was not crazy and not abandoned, just no longer hearing voices in my head. lemme tell ya, those were some very dark days until i realized the truth. then i slowly began to feel a sense of peace and great relief! but i had to go thru the darkness first. i hope your dark night of the soul is not long and you feel relief soon!

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No more drugs. thank you,

 

Well you know, I've finally decided NOT to take the gabapentin because I've spent all day reading many stories, some are good but many are very very bad and it seems very hard to come off of it for some (and I'm ALWAYS in those "some"). Went to a new psych dr today (it's become a new addiction to me). No really this one I really liked. So he said yes take the trazodone (that the other one prescribed) but not the gabapentin because it wont do anything. I don't know if it won't do anything but I do know it's hard to come off of. I guess I'll take the trazodone 25 mgs to try help with sleep. I'm feeling the anxiety come again. Don't know how tonight is going to go.

 

hey Val

 

i'm so glad you did your homework, it's the best thing you can do to be your own advocate and protect yourself. having a good friend as an advocate is also nice, if you can find one, but there will never be a better person to look out for your best interests than yourself!

 

trazadone was a nightmare for  me but i only mean it in the literal sense, it gave me vivid nightmares so i quit taking it after a few months. i don't remember that time very much, i guess all the other meds kinda wiped out my memory card lol, but anyways my records do show i took it for a little less than 3 months. i just rememeber it giving me bad dreams that i couldn't seem to shake.  but it helps a lot of people to sleep when they are running out of options. it might cause a little tapering discomfort but probably nothing as bad as the harder drugs/meds. 

 

maybe something for you to try for natural sleep aid is a little swig of tart cherry juice or 2 tablesoons/1 ounce of tart cherry juice concentrate (not extract) in some water or apple juice before bed. i use that to mask the taste of my seroquel (very bitter when powdered and made into a suspension) that i take a liquid dose of 3x a day, and i found that it masks the taste very well but an unexpected happy additional effect is it is mildly sedating! i wasn't trying for that but, hey it's a great natural anti-anxiety fruit so i'll take it!  :thumbsup: it's like a bonus lol!

 

a lot of people have been saying how montmorency tart cherry juice concentrate or juice before bed helps them fall asleep, so i knew it wasn't going to hurt anything to try using it to mask my seroquel suspension. also since i am taking about 1 ounce of it 3x a day with my seroquel suspension, it kind f keeps my blood sugar more even, since it has a lot of carbs in it, so instead of me waiting to feel hungry or get a headache to alert me it's time to eat, my blood sugar stays a little more even between meals. i guess that's an extra bonus! (insert pac man bleeps and pings here)

 

haha today is the new season 3 of "Stranger Things" on netflix so i have 1980's themed video game noises in my head  :2funny:

 

Nomoredrugs, 15 minutes ago at 5:30 am I took the gabapentin. I can't live like this. It might go wrong but I can't live like this. You see those youtube videos with people in severe withdrawal who can sleep nothing because their mind and emotions are tormenting them with withdrawal ? Well that's me. That's me for a whole month now. I just can't go on. I'm alone here, if I had someone to lean on but what? Months like this? A year? I can't do it. Lets see if the gabapentin works and if now IDK.

 

hey Val

 

just be kind to yourself. your journey is unique, and you will learn  by trial and error just like the rest of us all do. i'm rooting for ya! sleep well my new friend. i'll be here and we will be here if/when you need us for the next step. yhere is no rush, despite how urgent it feels right now, so do you and we'll figure it out as you go. we are just humans and none of us has it all figured out. but rememeber, you are your best advocate. you can take your power back whenever you are ready ok? we'll be here and one day you will be here for others going thru your current strife. sleep well tonite :smitten:

 

Thank you normoredrugs. I have slept nothing and the mental torture has continued while I lay with my eyes closed these two hours. Time to get up here. I never would've thought two months ago that I'd be living in this hell. Never. Thank you for your kind words. They mean so much. Have you ever gone through this state of mental torture? If you look at benzo withdrawal videos that's what I'm living. Severe withdrawal. It's as if I had cold turkeyed. Have a good day, or night, I don't know where you are, and God bless you for your good heart.

 

hey Val,

 

no not with benzos..not yet. i am saving my clonazepam taper for last. but i have gone thru the dark night of the soul while tapering off of a high dose of seroquel down to a much lower dose...

 

it was after going from 400mg down to under about 85mg of seroquel...see one of the side effects of antipsychotics like seroquel ay high doses is they can cause you to hear voices. they can cause psychosis and psychotic symptoms in non psychotic people. that's what happened to me. i never heard the voice of "God" speaking to me until i got on seroquel. for years i thought i was hearing God's voice and felt very very close and had the most profound and moving spiritual/religious experiences until one day at just under 85mg, i was on my floor praying fervently, and there was nothing...silence. i was confused..i prayed the next  day and the next but nothing, nada. i was utterly devastated, felt God had abandoned me, wanted to die and thought i was going to hell. then i realised the voice i thought was God was a psychosis caused by seroquel, which disappeared after i got to a low enough dose. i was not crazy and not abandoned, just no longer hearing voices in my head. lemme tell ya, those were some very dark days until i realized the truth. then i slowly began to feel a sense of peace and great relief! but i had to go thru the darkness first. i hope your dark night of the soul is not long and you feel relief soon!

 

Wow nomoredrugs, that's an amazing experience. It doesn't sound only drug induced. I feel this horrendous suffering brings you closer to God. I didn't think much of God and now I do. I ask him what is the purpose. What is this for? Anyway I guess I'm going crazy with the wds lack of sleep, gabapentin etc. Terrible the seroquel experience. You sound like a very spiritual person. I haven't gone to mass in years because I really don't feel well in my country's catholic churches. But I¡m thinking of going this Sunday, because this torment my brain is living leads me to seek for spiritual solace. There's an international church, I might go there. Even if I haven't slept. I think I have to try to make life go on Otherwise I'll go nuts in here.

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No more drugs. thank you,

 

Well you know, I've finally decided NOT to take the gabapentin because I've spent all day reading many stories, some are good but many are very very bad and it seems very hard to come off of it for some (and I'm ALWAYS in those "some"). Went to a new psych dr today (it's become a new addiction to me). No really this one I really liked. So he said yes take the trazodone (that the other one prescribed) but not the gabapentin because it wont do anything. I don't know if it won't do anything but I do know it's hard to come off of. I guess I'll take the trazodone 25 mgs to try help with sleep. I'm feeling the anxiety come again. Don't know how tonight is going to go.

 

hey Val

 

i'm so glad you did your homework, it's the best thing you can do to be your own advocate and protect yourself. having a good friend as an advocate is also nice, if you can find one, but there will never be a better person to look out for your best interests than yourself!

 

trazadone was a nightmare for  me but i only mean it in the literal sense, it gave me vivid nightmares so i quit taking it after a few months. i don't remember that time very much, i guess all the other meds kinda wiped out my memory card lol, but anyways my records do show i took it for a little less than 3 months. i just rememeber it giving me bad dreams that i couldn't seem to shake.  but it helps a lot of people to sleep when they are running out of options. it might cause a little tapering discomfort but probably nothing as bad as the harder drugs/meds. 

 

maybe something for you to try for natural sleep aid is a little swig of tart cherry juice or 2 tablesoons/1 ounce of tart cherry juice concentrate (not extract) in some water or apple juice before bed. i use that to mask the taste of my seroquel (very bitter when powdered and made into a suspension) that i take a liquid dose of 3x a day, and i found that it masks the taste very well but an unexpected happy additional effect is it is mildly sedating! i wasn't trying for that but, hey it's a great natural anti-anxiety fruit so i'll take it!  :thumbsup: it's like a bonus lol!

 

a lot of people have been saying how montmorency tart cherry juice concentrate or juice before bed helps them fall asleep, so i knew it wasn't going to hurt anything to try using it to mask my seroquel suspension. also since i am taking about 1 ounce of it 3x a day with my seroquel suspension, it kind f keeps my blood sugar more even, since it has a lot of carbs in it, so instead of me waiting to feel hungry or get a headache to alert me it's time to eat, my blood sugar stays a little more even between meals. i guess that's an extra bonus! (insert pac man bleeps and pings here)

 

haha today is the new season 3 of "Stranger Things" on netflix so i have 1980's themed video game noises in my head  :2funny:

 

Nomoredrugs, 15 minutes ago at 5:30 am I took the gabapentin. I can't live like this. It might go wrong but I can't live like this. You see those youtube videos with people in severe withdrawal who can sleep nothing because their mind and emotions are tormenting them with withdrawal ? Well that's me. That's me for a whole month now. I just can't go on. I'm alone here, if I had someone to lean on but what? Months like this? A year? I can't do it. Lets see if the gabapentin works and if now IDK.

 

hey Val

 

just be kind to yourself. your journey is unique, and you will learn  by trial and error just like the rest of us all do. i'm rooting for ya! sleep well my new friend. i'll be here and we will be here if/when you need us for the next step. yhere is no rush, despite how urgent it feels right now, so do you and we'll figure it out as you go. we are just humans and none of us has it all figured out. but rememeber, you are your best advocate. you can take your power back whenever you are ready ok? we'll be here and one day you will be here for others going thru your current strife. sleep well tonite :smitten:

 

Thank you normoredrugs. I have slept nothing and the mental torture has continued while I lay with my eyes closed these two hours. Time to get up here. I never would've thought two months ago that I'd be living in this hell. Never. Thank you for your kind words. They mean so much. Have you ever gone through this state of mental torture? If you look at benzo withdrawal videos that's what I'm living. Severe withdrawal. It's as if I had cold turkeyed. Have a good day, or night, I don't know where you are, and God bless you for your good heart.

 

hey Val,

 

no not with benzos..not yet. i am saving my clonazepam taper for last. but i have gone thru the dark night of the soul while tapering off of a high dose of seroquel down to a much lower dose...

 

it was after going from 400mg down to under about 85mg of seroquel...see one of the side effects of antipsychotics like seroquel ay high doses is they can cause you to hear voices. they can cause psychosis and psychotic symptoms in non psychotic people. that's what happened to me. i never heard the voice of "God" speaking to me until i got on seroquel. for years i thought i was hearing God's voice and felt very very close and had the most profound and moving spiritual/religious experiences until one day at just under 85mg, i was on my floor praying fervently, and there was nothing...silence. i was confused..i prayed the next  day and the next but nothing, nada. i was utterly devastated, felt God had abandoned me, wanted to die and thought i was going to hell. then i realised the voice i thought was God was a psychosis caused by seroquel, which disappeared after i got to a low enough dose. i was not crazy and not abandoned, just no longer hearing voices in my head. lemme tell ya, those were some very dark days until i realized the truth. then i slowly began to feel a sense of peace and great relief! but i had to go thru the darkness first. i hope your dark night of the soul is not long and you feel relief soon!

 

Wow nomoredrugs, that's an amazing experience. It doesn't sound only drug induced. I feel this horrendous suffering brings you closer to God. I didn't think much of God and now I do. I ask him what is the purpose. What is this for? Anyway I guess I'm going crazy with the wds lack of sleep, gabapentin etc. Terrible the seroquel experience. You sound like a very spiritual person. I haven't gone to mass in years because I really don't feel well in my country's catholic churches. But I¡m thinking of going this Sunday, because this torment my brain is living leads me to seek for spiritual solace. There's an international church, I might go there. Even if I haven't slept. I think I have to try to make life go on Otherwise I'll go nuts in here.

 

I'm glad this experience has brought you closer to god. Unfortunately I feel the opposite and wish badly that I can gain that while losing everything else. I keep thinking if god loved me or Cared about me I would either a) be improving or b) be happy in his presence. I have neither. Nobody else (in my life) is suffering the way I am or have their life taken away at 30 years old. I have had to cut myself off from all my previous amazing friends and even strangers to prevent the constant trigger that I get seeing their lives go on. I keep wondering what I did to deserve this.. and all I can think of is breaking up with exes that I thought I'd be settling with (funny thing is I thought I was making the right decision because he wasn't serious with his faith and I wanted to grow more), or being self centered all my life. Is this my punishment? With both benzo withdrawal and ptsd to fight with, I'm not sure there's an endpoint. It's like 2 brain injuries to deal with and not just one, as if one isn't enough... sorry for the rambling, just need a place to vent.

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No more drugs. thank you,

 

Well you know, I've finally decided NOT to take the gabapentin because I've spent all day reading many stories, some are good but many are very very bad and it seems very hard to come off of it for some (and I'm ALWAYS in those "some"). Went to a new psych dr today (it's become a new addiction to me). No really this one I really liked. So he said yes take the trazodone (that the other one prescribed) but not the gabapentin because it wont do anything. I don't know if it won't do anything but I do know it's hard to come off of. I guess I'll take the trazodone 25 mgs to try help with sleep. I'm feeling the anxiety come again. Don't know how tonight is going to go.

 

hey Val

 

i'm so glad you did your homework, it's the best thing you can do to be your own advocate and protect yourself. having a good friend as an advocate is also nice, if you can find one, but there will never be a better person to look out for your best interests than yourself!

 

trazadone was a nightmare for  me but i only mean it in the literal sense, it gave me vivid nightmares so i quit taking it after a few months. i don't remember that time very much, i guess all the other meds kinda wiped out my memory card lol, but anyways my records do show i took it for a little less than 3 months. i just rememeber it giving me bad dreams that i couldn't seem to shake.  but it helps a lot of people to sleep when they are running out of options. it might cause a little tapering discomfort but probably nothing as bad as the harder drugs/meds. 

 

maybe something for you to try for natural sleep aid is a little swig of tart cherry juice or 2 tablesoons/1 ounce of tart cherry juice concentrate (not extract) in some water or apple juice before bed. i use that to mask the taste of my seroquel (very bitter when powdered and made into a suspension) that i take a liquid dose of 3x a day, and i found that it masks the taste very well but an unexpected happy additional effect is it is mildly sedating! i wasn't trying for that but, hey it's a great natural anti-anxiety fruit so i'll take it!  :thumbsup: it's like a bonus lol!

 

a lot of people have been saying how montmorency tart cherry juice concentrate or juice before bed helps them fall asleep, so i knew it wasn't going to hurt anything to try using it to mask my seroquel suspension. also since i am taking about 1 ounce of it 3x a day with my seroquel suspension, it kind f keeps my blood sugar more even, since it has a lot of carbs in it, so instead of me waiting to feel hungry or get a headache to alert me it's time to eat, my blood sugar stays a little more even between meals. i guess that's an extra bonus! (insert pac man bleeps and pings here)

 

haha today is the new season 3 of "Stranger Things" on netflix so i have 1980's themed video game noises in my head  :2funny:

 

Nomoredrugs, 15 minutes ago at 5:30 am I took the gabapentin. I can't live like this. It might go wrong but I can't live like this. You see those youtube videos with people in severe withdrawal who can sleep nothing because their mind and emotions are tormenting them with withdrawal ? Well that's me. That's me for a whole month now. I just can't go on. I'm alone here, if I had someone to lean on but what? Months like this? A year? I can't do it. Lets see if the gabapentin works and if now IDK.

 

hey Val

 

just be kind to yourself. your journey is unique, and you will learn  by trial and error just like the rest of us all do. i'm rooting for ya! sleep well my new friend. i'll be here and we will be here if/when you need us for the next step. yhere is no rush, despite how urgent it feels right now, so do you and we'll figure it out as you go. we are just humans and none of us has it all figured out. but rememeber, you are your best advocate. you can take your power back whenever you are ready ok? we'll be here and one day you will be here for others going thru your current strife. sleep well tonite :smitten:

 

Thank you normoredrugs. I have slept nothing and the mental torture has continued while I lay with my eyes closed these two hours. Time to get up here. I never would've thought two months ago that I'd be living in this hell. Never. Thank you for your kind words. They mean so much. Have you ever gone through this state of mental torture? If you look at benzo withdrawal videos that's what I'm living. Severe withdrawal. It's as if I had cold turkeyed. Have a good day, or night, I don't know where you are, and God bless you for your good heart.

 

hey Val,

 

no not with benzos..not yet. i am saving my clonazepam taper for last. but i have gone thru the dark night of the soul while tapering off of a high dose of seroquel down to a much lower dose...

 

it was after going from 400mg down to under about 85mg of seroquel...see one of the side effects of antipsychotics like seroquel ay high doses is they can cause you to hear voices. they can cause psychosis and psychotic symptoms in non psychotic people. that's what happened to me. i never heard the voice of "God" speaking to me until i got on seroquel. for years i thought i was hearing God's voice and felt very very close and had the most profound and moving spiritual/religious experiences until one day at just under 85mg, i was on my floor praying fervently, and there was nothing...silence. i was confused..i prayed the next  day and the next but nothing, nada. i was utterly devastated, felt God had abandoned me, wanted to die and thought i was going to hell. then i realised the voice i thought was God was a psychosis caused by seroquel, which disappeared after i got to a low enough dose. i was not crazy and not abandoned, just no longer hearing voices in my head. lemme tell ya, those were some very dark days until i realized the truth. then i slowly began to feel a sense of peace and great relief! but i had to go thru the darkness first. i hope your dark night of the soul is not long and you feel relief soon!

 

Wow nomoredrugs, that's an amazing experience. It doesn't sound only drug induced. I feel this horrendous suffering brings you closer to God. I didn't think much of God and now I do. I ask him what is the purpose. What is this for? Anyway I guess I'm going crazy with the wds lack of sleep, gabapentin etc. Terrible the seroquel experience. You sound like a very spiritual person. I haven't gone to mass in years because I really don't feel well in my country's catholic churches. But I¡m thinking of going this Sunday, because this torment my brain is living leads me to seek for spiritual solace. There's an international church, I might go there. Even if I haven't slept. I think I have to try to make life go on Otherwise I'll go nuts in here.

 

I'm glad this experience has brought you closer to god. Unfortunately I feel the opposite and wish badly that I can gain that while losing everything else. I keep thinking if god loved me or Cared about me I would either a) be improving or b) be happy in his presence. I have neither. Nobody else (in my life) is suffering the way I am or have their life taken away at 30 years old. I have had to cut myself off from all my previous amazing friends and even strangers to prevent the constant trigger that I get seeing their lives go on. I keep wondering what I did to deserve this.. and all I can think of is breaking up with exes that I thought I'd be settling with (funny thing is I thought I was making the right decision because he wasn't serious with his faith and I wanted to grow more), or being self centered all my life. Is this my punishment? With both benzo withdrawal and ptsd to fight with, I'm not sure there's an endpoint. It's like 2 brain injuries to deal with and not just one, as if one isn't enough... sorry for the rambling, just need a place to vent.

 

hey PT

 

uh yeah i dunno where Val/others got the impression i am very spiritual because..okay maybe i am spiritual but not frikking religious, hell i'm an atheist by strictest definition now BECAUSE of the drugs, seroquel specifically...i thought i was hearing from god personally for the better part of 2 decades until my seroquel antipsychotic was reduced in dosage to a low enough level and i suddenly one day quit hearing the "voice of god" and haven't heard anything now for a year since july 7th. and ditto, i lost all my friends most my family and can't seem to find a place that teaches how to love and forgive without the religious dogma attached...it's been a very cruel joke if god IS real to play on me after the life "he" has allowed me to experience which i wont go into here, but just to be clear, it involves a lot of disturbing abuses and not just the obvious kind you can see marks for. to abandon one's so called child in the middle of wd's is the cruelest joke. so yeah, i dont believe. i know that i was hearing a voice a psychotic delusion and with hallucinations at times too, that was brought on by the antipsychotic medication i was given. i never heard the "voice of god" until on seroquel. and now it is a known fact that antipsychotics when given to a non psychotic person can induce psychosis...voices, hallucinations, delusions etc. i wish i had faith because it helped me cope, but now there's been no hint of a whisper or voice or feeeling or anything to indicate a prescence to me. it is very alienating and isolating to feel that but it is what it is.  so now my religion is kindness to animals and (trying to be) kind to other humans. that's it.

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